Page 141 of Love Bleeds Red
“Yeah. Same old Derek. He seemed excited to have me back.”
“That’s good.” He continues his light grazing along my side, sliding close to my ribcage. God, it feels good. “What times? I can bring you in and pick you up.”
Here it is, the conversation I’ve been dreading. “I can drive myself.”
“I know you can. I just thought?—”
“Leon, I need to be able to do normal things. Like driving myself to and from work.” His posture goes stiff behind me so I flip around to face him. Yup, he’s rolling his lip ring between his teeth and making that nervous face. “Lee… I’ll be fine.”
“Of course. I just worry about you being out alone at night.”
“It’s Burger Palace, not a war zone.”
The words come out sharper than I intended, and I can see him flinch slightly. I want to backtrack, give this long explanation that it’s not about him, that I’m just desperate to feel capable of something. But before I can figure out how to say it, he nods and rolls to his back.
“You’re right. I’m being overprotective.” He forces a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll see you when you get home. I should go hop on my computer… got a meeting in a few minutes.”
After he leaves, I sit on my bed feeling like the worst person alive. He’s trying so hard to give me space while still being supportive, and I keep snapping at him for caring too much.
The day passes in a haze of anxious energy. I must have spent over an hour dressing in my shitty black uniform pants and Burger Palace polo and throwing my hair up in the tightest ponytail I could with my choppy hair.
Looking in the mirror before I leave my bedroom is… something. I feel like a Bailey paper doll wearing the old me dress up clothes but they don’t fit the way they should because my edges are torn and frayed.
Leon’s in the kitchen when I come out, with his laptop open, working on something that involves multiple screens of code. He looks up when I enter and his face does that thing it always does now—a quick assessment to gauge my mood, my stress level, my general state of being. He smiles though and I can’t help my stomach from flipping.
“You look good in a striped polo shirt.”
“Thanks?” I sigh and sit in the chair next to him. “It feels weird, putting on the uniform again.”
“Yeah.” He closes the laptop. “Are you nervous?”
“A little. What if I’ve forgotten everything? What if I can’t handle it?”
“You worked there for two years. It’ll come back to you.” He reaches out to squeeze my hand. “And if it doesn’t feel right, you can always leave.”
“I’m not going to leave on my first day.”
“I know. I’m just saying you have options. Your comfort is the most important thing.”
“You really don’t think I should be doing this, do you?”
“I think you should do whatever makes you feel strong and capable,” he says carefully. “I just want you to be safe.”
“I will be. It’s just fast food.”
He nods, but I can see him holding back whatever he really wants to say. Another conversation about being careful, probably, or at least letting him drive me home. Instead, he just says, “Text me when you get there?”
“Of course.”
I grab my keys and head for the door, then turn back for one more look. Leon’s still sitting there, watching me intently.
“Leon?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For not trying to talk me out of this.”
His smile is soft and genuine. “Just promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”
