Page 38 of Fight For Us
He pulled his hair out of the barely kempt ponytail and ran his palms over the strands, staring off in the distance. A breeze blew through the loose waves and I couldn’t break my eyes away from the fluidity of their movement. Wes really was beautiful. He finally pulled his gaze from the ocean back to me, hurt clear on his face.
“I understand. It was an idea. Now that you talk about it… you’re right. I guess I’m just out of ideas but I’ll keep trying to figure this out. Talk to a few lawyers and see what they say. For all I know, Regina could be bluffing.”
I nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
“What about you? I wish we offered affordable health insurance, but last I checked, the cheapest one is still a lot. Can you ask anyone for help? ” My mother’s last tirade about my parent’s divorce and their frozen assets ran through my head. No way would I ask them for a penny. Besides the fact that they were in their own crisis, asking my parents for anything always came with a price, and I was done being their stand-in for everything they were missing in their own lives.
“Don’t worry about me.”
My phone started to vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out. The hospital number flashed across the screen.Great timing.They could leave a message. Wes studied me with a curious expression.
“Do you need to get that?”
“No, it’s fine,” I said quietly.
I finished off my now lukewarm coffee, willing it to counteract my hangover from hell.
“I guess I’ll get going.” He stood, balling up the paper bag that was on the ground next to him. “I’m sorry again about earlier. And what I said.”
“It’s fine.” Fine seemed to be my word of the week. Wes saw right through me though. I could tell.
“To put it out there, if we did this thing, I know it wouldn’t be real, but I’d make sure you and Alex were taken care of. And yes we bicker, but we make a good team.” He shrugged. “I can understand you holding out for love, though.”
“Love? That’s not it. I mean, yes, that’s the dream for everyone, right? But it’s not on the radar for me. It hasn’t been for a long time.”
“Why is that?” He stepped so close I could smell his comforting scent, before cupping my chin and tilting my face toward his. His calloused fingers scratched against my sensitive skin. It felt good—too good—every time Wes touched me like this. I could picture those strong fingers tracing their way lower. Skimming my collar bone, the swell of my breasts. My breathing quickened and Wes stepped closer still. Close enough that a strand of his hair brushed my cheek. I couldn’t think straight like this.
“I—I don’t know. It’s just not. I’m not the love type, I guess.” My voice trembled as the words spilled from my lips. “No one’s loved me before.”
Wes blinked and stepped away, leaving me breathless and frustrated. “You’re telling yourself lies, Tiger.”
I caught my breath and mentally smacked myself for letting his close proximity rattle me. “Oh, yeah? What do you know?”
“More than you think,” he answered, like he was stating something glaringly obvious. My damn phone started to buzz again. I cursed under my breath and pulled it out. The hospital again. “You should probably get that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled, answering the hospital number. Wes watched me, arms crossed over his broad chest.
“Mrs. Murphy?”
“Yes,” I answered, ignoring the Mrs. part.
“This is Dr. Farrow, I’m the orthopedic surgeon who did your son’s surgery a few months ago. I was forwarded his X-rays and records from his emergency room visit last night. I’m so sorry to say this, but it looks like he’ll need to be seen for a follow-up in the office sooner than later.”
My ears rang—a high pitched, grating sound that pierced straight through my skull. It was starting, the tightening of my chest muscles, the lump forming in my throat. I held onto the front door as my legs turned to jelly.
“Mrs. Murphy? Are you there?”
“Yes—sorry.” I cleared my throat and felt a tap on my shoulder. Wes was beside me reaching for my phone. I passed it to him with a shaky hand.
“Hello, this is Alex’s father.” He’d spoken those words before but this time, with the proposal on the table, they conjured adifferent feeling. Comfort, maybe? Safety? I didn’t know but, I was grateful he was here for me again.
“Okay, I’ll check our calendar and call the office first thing to make an appointment. Thanks.” He hit end and passed me the phone.
I peered through the front window where Alex was relaxing, leg elevated on a pillow, laughing at his show. It wasn’t fair that he had to go through all this crap. I’d do anything to take it on myself.
“I told her we’d call to set up an appointment,” Wes said in a muted voice.
“Thank you.” I needed to get inside and calm myself down. These reactions I had to stress were compounding and I was afraid I’d reach a point where I was unable to care for myself or Alex. I couldn’t even do a telephone call with Dr. Bannen since his rate was at least $200 an hour and it’s been almost a year since I’d seen him for counseling.
