Page 95 of Fight For Us
“Okay.” I didn’t have it in me to argue so I got up and went into the other room. Wes stayed at the opposite end of the house for the rest of the day, tinkering around in the kitchen and then cooking dinner. We ate in relative silence, each of us avoiding the Regina conversation.
After dinner, we went about our bedtime routines—showering, brushing teeth, getting comfortable. I missed Wes’s hands on me, missed our physical connection.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, trying to make conversation.
“Honestly, not great. I’ve got some phantom pain in my leg, my hips hurt, all this stress is killing me, and on top of that I know I’m failing you.” He adjusted the blanket and palmed his residual limb with a light massage.
“What does phantom pain feel like?” I’d been wondering about that, but always felt too nervous to ask.
He sighed and continued massaging. “It’s hard to describe but it changes. It can feel like pins and needles some days or get so bad that it feels like being stabbed with a hot knife. It’s gotten better over the years. Either that or I’ve gotten better at dealing with it.”
I reached out and rested my palm on his thigh. “I’m sorry, I can’t even imagine that kind of pain.”
“I wouldn’t want you to. I’d never wish this pain on anyone.” He hissed a breath as he rubbed.
“Can I?” I trailed my palm lower, wanting to help in any way that I could.
His dark eyes met mine and softened. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” With sure strokes, I worked my palms lower, paying extra attention to his scar tissue. “Is this pressure okay?”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headboard. “Yeah, it feels good.”
I continued massaging, working his thighs and hips above his boxers before going back down and repeating. His breathing slowed and face softened, filling me with a warmth that I hadn’t felt in days.
We may be in a weird place, but this was a huge step for us. He’d rarely given me a chance to even see him without his prosthesis on, let alone touch him without it. It felt like he was giving me a piece of himself.
“Thank you, Tiger,” he whispered. His eyes still closed.
I kept massaging until a light snore fell from his lips and his head flopped to the side.
With this small connection after such a difficult day, I fell asleep feeling like maybe we’d be okay.
Chapter 37
Olivia
I got in mycar after Krav class the following evening feeling more than emotional. We worked on choke defenses and something about the drill had my mind spiraling. It wasn’t a flashback or memory, more like a feeling. I shoved it down for as long as I could to finish the drill with Kendahl, but as soon as we took a break, I excused myself early.
I reached for my phone to text Wes but thought better of it. I’d rarely seen him carrying his phone lately. He was super quiet that morning and all afternoon at work, keeping to himself and barely saying two words to me.
I tried to bring up Regina but he brushed me off. He hadn’t even gotten all grumpy and growly when Damon and his business partner came in for lunch and flirted with me.
I hurt too much to go right home, not without calming down first.
Halfway home, I turned around and drove toward Sunshine. Thea or Derek may have still been there cleaning up, but they wouldn’t mind me coming in. Maybe an hour of baking in peace and quiet would help me refocus and get rid of the pit in my stomach.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed Wes’s car parked in his usual space. If he was here, who was with the kids? Once parked, I texted Alex.
Me:Hey… Who’s with you guys?
I collected my purse and fixed my hair in the rearview while Alex replied.
Alex:Grandma Val is here. We’re watching a movie and having popcorn.
Well, now I was both relieved and irritated. How could he leave without letting me know?
Me:Ok, I’ll be home soon
