Page 94 of Fight For Us
“Psychological testing?” This was the first time I heard about anything like that. Background testing, yes, but not psychological.
“Yes, and I’d need to have backgrounds done on anyone else that will be in Lilly’s life. What are the arrangements with your son’s father?”
I choked on the lump in my throat. This wasn’t a topic I was comfortable talking about with a complete stranger, especiallyin front of the children. Thankfully, Wes picked that moment to walk back inside. We turned our heads in his direction.
“It’s time for you to go, Regina. If you didn’t finish touring the house, that’s on you.”
She stood up and brushed her hands down her immaculate pants. “It’s clear you’re still ill mannered and classless. I hope you have a stellar lawyer ready.”
“Get out,” his voice boomed, making me flinch.
“Goodbye, Lilly. Grandmother will see you soon,” she said as she grabbed her purse and walked with her chin raised past Wes and out the door.
The four of us sat in silence for a few moments, processing what had just happened. Alex finally spoke up. “Can I go play video games?”
“Yeah, go ahead.” My voice cracked as I added, “Lilly, why don’t you go, too?”
Once they were out of the room, I steeled myself for the difficult conversation I knew I needed to have.
“I know what you’re going to say,” Wes said. He sat across from me on the couch, knees wide and head in his hands.
“And what is that?”
“That I fucked up. That you’re pissed at me for walking outside?” His voice broke as he sank lower onto the couch.
“If you already know that, then why? I’m so confused lately, Wes. Things were going so well, not just with me but with the kids, too. I know you were putting in the work to be better for Lilly. So why be like this? I need to know.”
I tried to keep my voice even. To bite my tongue at the annoyance and frustration wanting to escape through cold words. It wasn’t easy, especially since he was giving me so little.
He finally lifted his head but cast his gaze down at the floor. “I’m no good at this. Being a father… a husband… a friend. I can’t take care of anyone when I’m such a fucking mess. Why bother with Regina? I refuse to kiss her ass when I know it won’t get me anywhere.”
I stood up and paced the living room. “I understand you don’t like her but do you really want her to fight us for Lilly? It doesn’t take much to use common courtesies. And then you left her with me… How could you? She asked me about Alex’s father.” My voice drifted off as I tried to hold back tears.
Something in Wes finally snapped back into place and he came to me, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. I was so frustrated. Not only with him, but with everything. Why couldn’t things be easy? Back home when it was just Alex and me, no one else mattered. I didn’t feel so raw all the time.
“I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” he whispered into my hair. “I’ve been a dick and I know it. I don’t deserve you.”
I looked up at the devastation in his features and hated what we’d become. “I’m trying to help, Wes. It’s harder than you realize for me to open myself up but I am because I care. I want to help you but you have to let me, and most of all you have to help yourself.”
He blinked and nodded, letting my words sink in. “You’re right. I’m going to try harder.”
He tipped my chin up and brushed a gentle kiss against my lips. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest, breathing deeply. I didn’t know how much I needed this connection until that moment. There was still so much up in the air but at least I was getting through to him.
“Did you know about her setting up psychological testing for us?” I asked once we were sitting back on the couch.
“You mean background tests?”
“No—well, she’s doing those, too. I mean getting cleared by a psychologist. She mentioned us scheduling our sessions. Can she force that?” I didn’t need her looking up my psychological records. That was my business.
Wes ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time. I loved when it looked all disheveled though. It gave him character. “I have no clue, but I found a good lawyer and set up an appointment for this week. I had a feeling today wouldn’t be enough for her to back down.”
I huffed but bit my tongue. It could have been enough, if he cooperated. “That was a good idea. Should I call my father, too? Ask him for advice?”
“I don’t know. It seems wrong to involve them in my issues,” he said.
“You mean our issues? This isn’t only on you.” After the day we’ve had, him not including me stung even more.
“Yeah, sorry.” He stretched his arms over his head. “It’s been a long day. Let’s worry about Regina another day, okay?”
