Page 30 of His Wild Storm
The next thing I know, Wilde is launching himself at the man who doesn’t flinch and catches my son easily. If my heart does a flip in my chest, no one needs to know except for me.
Knox grins at my son and looks at him like he’s important. I tried to give him that feeling and I can’t help but wonder if I failed. But I also know it’s different coming from Knox for a whole lot of reasons I’m not fully ready to analyze right now.
Maybe later.
In therapy.
“Have you had breakfast yet?” Knox is asking Wilde, but he’s looking right at me.
I shake my head as Wilde shouts, “No, but I’m hungry.”
Knox chuckles, his eyes filled with amusement and affection when looking at the boy now sitting on his lap. There’s something there, something real. It’s almost too much for me to take in, but I force myself to not look away.
I won’t ever be able to move on if I only let myself run away.
“What are you doing here so early?” My words come out a lot brusquer than I intend, but they’re out there now and I can’t swallow them back down.
Knox’s smile doesn’t dim or falter even though Wilde makes a face at me, one filled with disappointment and a bit of a pout. “Wendy invited me,” he informs me.
I glance over at the stove where Wendy and Laura are standing. Wendy looks beyond pleased with herself while Laura looks confused. Poor woman.
Laura’s eyes are bouncing between Knox, Wilde, and myself like she’s not sure where to look. I can’t say I blame her.
After the conversation we had last week, Wendy hasn’t brought Knox up to me. I can’t deny that she saw something before I was willing to admit it to myself. She sure as hell wasn’t wrong.
The fact that she’s across the room and not trying to climb Knox like a tree settles something in my chest. Trust is hard won, and it would be a real drag if I couldn’t trust this woman after the amount of time I’ve spent at Safe Home. I’ve let her in on some of my past, and I’ve entrusted my hopes and dreams to her. To find out she wasn’t worth my trust would be devastating.
When she smiles at me, her eyes filled with a look of knowing, it becomes very clear what her plan was. “Yeah,” she chirps, “I thought it would be a good idea to feed him breakfast since he’s been willing to get here so early for class.”
I nod slowly because it’s something I hadn’t really considered before. I’m up early, always, but I have a son who wouldn’t allow it to be any other way. For someone like Knox, whose hours are probably a little different at the tattoo shop where he works, this is probably way too early.
Then there’s whatever else he might be getting up to which would keep him up later at night. The thought makes jealousy burn in my gut. I try to push the feeling away, but it’s not easy.
Is he going out at night? Does he have someone who is regularly warming his bed? I can’t remember the last time I went out for fun. With Wilde, it wasn’t an option, which wasn’t a problem for me considering what I gained.
“You’re thinking awfully hard,” Knox’s voice is right next to me, and I jump a little in surprise.
As I turn toward him, my eyes are big and round. I glance toward the table to find Wilde sitting where Knox was just moments ago. He’s watching me and biting his lower lip as if he’s unsure now because of my reaction. My stomach clenches because it’s the last thing I want.
“Sorry,” Knox’s voice is low enough for just me to hear, “I didn’t mean to startle you. Is it okay that I’m here?”
I shake my head slightly as I look at him and find a smile comes easily instead of me needing to force it which is what I was prepared to do. “I think feeding you is the least we could do. I’m sure getting up this early on a Saturday morning isn’t exactly ideal.”
The smile Knox flashes me is stunning. No, really. I’m momentarily stunned by it, my entire body freezing in place.
“There’s no where else I’d rather be,” he admits, his voice filled with honesty.
His words are simple, but there is so much left unsaid in his tone. The softness of it. The yearning underneath. The bit of hope which makes me want to step closer to him to make it easier for him to wrap his arms around me and hold me close.
As I stare into his moss green eyes, I get lost. The thing is, I don’t want to be found. Not when I’ve never felt safer than I do in this moment.
It doesn’t make any sense. As much as I try to tell myself not to get too attached, to be cautious, it’s not working. I can feel myself getting sucked into whatever magic this man is weaving around me and my son.
And I’m not the only one.
“You have to have pancakes with me, Knox,” Wilde pulls our attention toward him, breaking the connection between us. Which, admittedly, is probably for the best.
I shouldn’t throw myself at the man in front of my son, even if Wilde did do it first. It’s just not the same look if I were to do it.
