Page 74 of Heated
Maybe because I want my hands in those thick strands, tugging, tangling. You’d think I would’ve had my fill last night. But apparently not. When it comes to this woman, I’m insatiable. That, I should’ve known. Pivoting on my heel, I pad on bare feet back to the kitchen. In moments, I hand her a coffee mug and remove the creamer and sugar for her to doctor her brew how she needs it.
“Do you regret last night? Is that what”—I hike my chin in the direction of the living room—“your escape attempt was about?”
Head lowered, she stirs her coffee, the clang of the spoon against her cup the only sound in the room. I wait for her response, outwardly calm, but inside I’m tense, anxious. The last thing anyone desires to hear is they’re a mistake.
“No,” she murmurs, setting the spoon aside on the saucer the cup sits on. “I don’t regret that or you. I just ...” She lifts her head, shadows shifting in her brown gaze. “Where do we go from here? Sex complicates ... everything. It always does.”
“Not if we agree that it won’t.”
She smiles, and it strikes me as wistful. “Just because you will it not to be doesn’t mean it won’t be.” A sigh escapes her. “I’m not going tolie, Cyrus. I’m worried. I’m terrified I’m going to be your biggest regret when all of this is over.”
“Come here.”
Her gaze sharpens, and just like that, I’m hard. Shit. It’s her effect on me. I should be alarmed by it. And if she wasn’t circling the island, those rounded hips gently swaying, maybe I would be. Later. Right now, though, I can concentrate only on getting my hands on her. Again.
Once she nears me, I grasp her hips and bring her into the cradle of my body so we’re perfectly aligned. Cupping her cheek, I rub my thumb over her cheekbone and watch myself caress her. Because I can, when just days ago, I wasn’t permitted to do this.
“Will boundaries make you feel better?” I murmur.
“Yes,” she whispers. “It will.”
“Okay. If you want me, I’m yours. Feel free to use me for your pleasure; I’m here for it, for you. And the same for me. Because I intend to be inside you as often as possible, Zora. I’ve fantasized about you for so long that I don’t know if three months will be enough, but it’s going to have to be. Because at the end of our arrangement, we walk away. No strings, like we agreed. No entanglements, no expectations. And if at any time you want to end this, we do. And we go back to how we were.”
“Same for you too. If you want to end it.”
I smile at the thought. “Baby, that’s not going to happen.”
A shiver courses over her, and it reverberates through me.
“This is crazy.” She balls her fingers into the loops of my jeans, pressing her forehead to my bare chest. Rolling her forehead back and forth, she repeats, “This is so crazy.I’mcrazy.”
“Sex with me? I’m not sure if I should be offended or not.”
Her huff of warm breath to my skin isn’t a laugh or a sigh; it’s somewhere in between.
“Cyrus, I’m not ... this isn’t ...” She tips her head back, and the faint smile that curves her mouth isn’t humorous. “You just got out ofa relationship. And yes, this is just physical, but I don’t know if I’m cut out to be the rebound girl. I don’t—”
“Say it, Zora.”
Her throat works for several seconds, as if she’s battling the words, but eventually she blurts them out. “At the restaurant, I asked you about the Dear John letter, and you said it didn’t tear your heart out. But I remember the devastation on your face when I read it. Your face revealed how you felt—”
I step back from her, inserting space but cradling her neck, my thumbs on either side of her jaw.
“Look at me.” I need her to get this, and I harden my voice. Zora obeys, and I pause a moment, ensuring she’s meeting my gaze and really seeing me.Hearingme. “What you saw on my face wasn’t about Val. Not specifically. Since my parents died and I left my aunts’ homes for college, I’ve planned out my future. High school. College. Law school. The law firm I would join. And eventually when I would date and marry. I’ve stuck to those plans; they’ve guided me through rough and lean years, gave goals to work toward. That’s what you saw on my face, Zora. The devastation of deviating from my plans. The fear of failing, of insecurity and the unknown. The fear of failing and disappointing my parents. Not about losing Val.”
Her gaze roams my face, searching, and I hold still, letting her see the truth. After several long moments, that gaze softens into warm, melted chocolate.
“That’s why the partnership and the retreat is so important to you, isn’t it?” she murmurs. “It’s in your plan.”
“Yes.”
She nods.
Then her arms wrap around me, holding me close, and I shut my eyes, inhaling her scent, feeling her body. Savoring every curve, every dip. The lust is there—it’s never far. Yet here, in this moment, there’ssomething softer tempering it. For how long before the desire overtakes it? I don’t know.
But I stand here, holding her.
Wondering when that started to feel so natural.
