Page 28 of The Christmas Ring
“Exactly.” Sadie set the heart with the other cookie cutters. “Love has always been at the middle of our Christmases, Mom. Hudson and I were talking about that earlier.” She arranged the shapes. “I FaceTimed him at Ella’s house.”
“How is he?” Vanessa was happy to move the talk to Hudson. She certainly couldn’t talk about Ben in the midst of a conversation about love.
Sadie’s smile faded. “I don’t know where they are, but he was down, Mom. Our call ended with sirens going off.” She took the heart shape and pressed it into the dough. “That’s happened before, but it just seems worse. I don’t know.”
Vanessa studied her daughter, the fear gathered at the corners of her eyes. “Let’s pray for him. Right now.”
For a moment Sadie looked like a little girl again. She reached out her hands, and Vanessa took hold of them. “I’d love that.”
Her prayer was short and to the point. Vanessa asked God to send His guardian angels to surround Hudson wherever he was tonight, whatever mission he was working on. “Hudson is a soldier, and soldiers are always in danger, Lord.” Vanessa paused. “But we trust You with Hudson. Be with him. That’s all we ask of You. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
They were quiet, making cookie shapes and setting them on the baking sheet. Vanessa wondered if her thoughts were the same as Sadie’s. Praying for the soldiers they loved did not guarantee them safe travels or perfect protection from danger. But talking to God about Hudson did assure them of the one thing that mattered most.
God would be with Sadie’s young soldier as He had been with Alan.
Right up until his final breath.
They made four dozen cookies, many of them hearts, and frosted them with a homemade icing and every kind of red-and-green sprinkles. When the kitchen seemed covered in Christmas cookies, they changed into cozy pajamas and curled up under a blanket in the living room.
White Christmaswas one of their favorite movies no matter what time of year. And of course it was, since it involved soldiers and the burden of far-off battles. They sipped hot chocolate and Sadie laid her head on Vanessa’s shoulder as the movie came to an end.
This was all Vanessa had wanted since her daughter walked through the door a few nights ago. That the two of them would find again the connection they’d shared since Sadie was born. The one that had been especially close sinceAlan died.“You’re all I have, Mom,”Sadie had told her in the months after they laid Alan to rest.“You’re my best friend.”
When the credits finished, Vanessa flipped the screen to a cozy Christmas village with instrumental holiday tunes. She turned the volume down and shifted so she was looking at Sadie. “The ending gets better every time.”
“It does.” Sadie blinked back tears. “When he sees all his old soldiers gathered around to thank him, all I can see is Daddy. I wish that could have been his story. Living long enough to be celebrated by all the men he helped through the years.”
“Sort of like when we watchedScrooge.” Vanessa ran her hand over Sadie’s hair. “You said Daddy knows the difference he made helping people through the years.”
“Yes.” Sadie seemed to think about that. “In heaven right now there are so many soldiers Dad helped. Men who didn’t make it... just like him.”
“I miss him.” Vanessa meant it. Never mind how she was falling for Ben Miller. She would always miss Alan.
“I miss him, too.” Sadie looked at the Christmas tree, at the photo ornaments that marked the branches.
“You know...” Vanessa smiled. “Your dad would do it all over again if he had to... That was him. Wired to help the hurting. Not just that, but to pray with them.” Vanessa hadn’t thought about this for a long time. “After a long deployment, your dad would come home and tell me about the guys he’d treated who weren’t going to make it. He didn’t just give them first aid, Sadie girl. He would tell them about Jesus.” Vanessa paused. “He would ask them to cry out to the Lord for the only healing thatlasts. The one that leads to salvation. And the men would do that.”
The two of them reveled in that picture for a long moment. The man they loved, leading mortally wounded soldiers to the heart of God in their final minutes. Picturing that filled them with a joy that overpowered their sadness.
After the moment passed, Sadie talked about her classes and how at Reinhardt she’d taken photos of sporting events and concerts. “I have a gift for it, Mama. I really do.”
“Of course you do.” Vanessa smiled at her. “Can you show me?”
And Sadie did. She pulled up one photo after another, and she was right. “You’re so talented, honey. We wouldn’t want a girl who can take photos like this wasting away in the wrong classes, now would we?”
They both laughed, an easy sort of laugh that assured Vanessa again that everything was going to be okay between them. Which meant... maybe this was the time to bring up Ben. “I’ve been trying to talk to you about something since you got home. But we’ve both been busy.”
Sadie straightened and looked at her, curious. “I’m here now.” Her voice was kind. “Tell me.”
“Right. Well...” There was no turning back. “I was wondering, honey. What would you think if I started... you know, seeing someone?”
“Seeing someone?” Her daughter looked baffled. “Like a therapist?”
Maybe this was a bad idea. Vanessa shook her head. “No.Not like that.” She paused. “I mean, what would you think if I started dating?”
The words felt like sandpaper on Vanessa’s tongue. She regretted them immediately.
“What?” Sadie stared at her and then pushed the blanket off her lap. She stood, her face frozen. A frustrated laugh came from her. “You and I have the best night and then... I sure wasn’t expecting this.”
