Page 68 of The Baxters
“Okay.” She put the book back in the bag. “I need to get Cole home to bed.”
“Yes.” He nodded toward the front porch. “Come with me? To my car?”
The sky was clear now, and stars shone bright over the countryside of Bloomington. Across the front yard, tree branches lay scattered over the grass. There would no doubt be more visible damage when the sun came up. But here he was with Ashley Baxter.
Nothing else mattered.
When they reached his Toyota, there was no kiss, none of what they’d shared earlier. Ashley was happier, less burdened. Her eyes shone with a light that hadn’t been there before. Even still, her mind was set.
Landon could feel it.
“So…” Ashley faced him, leaving more distance between them than before. Her smile was colored by a mix of embarrassment and tenderness, and her tone filled with a familiar depth. “About the rock.”
“No one ever said we didn’t have chemistry.” He slid the toe of his shoe against hers a few times. “If it wasn’t for the sirens, I’d still be out there.”
“Me, too.” She lifted her eyes to his. “But I feel the same way, Landon. You and me… it could never work.”
He looked at her for a long time, his gaze never leavinghers. “Tell me, Ash.” He wanted to know. Whatever it was that had mattered so much to her before. “What were you going to tell me?”
Ashley’s smile faded a bit and she looked at the ground for a long minute. When she lifted her face to his she shook her head. “It isn’t important anymore.” She looked at peace. “We have our separate lives now. Let’s just let it go.”
“What if you’re wrong?” Landon moved closer. Just an inch or two. “Maybe you take the next year and ask God if He’s real. Ask Him if He has good plans for you, Ashley. The way I believe He does.”
“Why?” Her voice fell a notch. “God’s moved on from me.”
“Not possible.” He wanted to push, but this wasn’t the time. The night they’d shared would have to be enough for now. He took a slow breath. “One of these days we’ll have to swap stories, you and I.” He touched her cheek. “You’re not the only one who’s ever messed up, Ash. That’s the whole point.”
She angled her head, like she didn’t quite get it.
“Christians aren’t perfect.” He desperately wanted her to hear him, really hear him. “They’re just a group of broken people who know they need a Savior.” He took her hands in his. “Because we’re such a mess.”
A glimmer in her eyes told him maybe—just maybe—he had gotten through to her. She nodded, and looked across the vast front yard, her expression distant. “I don’t know.”
“All I’m saying is ask.” He shrugged. “Ask God to show you if His grace is enough. If there’s still something very good that can come from all this.” He thought for a moment. “Other than Cole. Because your little boy is good. And because every baby is a miracle. No matter what the circumstances.”
That was all. Landon didn’t want to linger here, lecturing her. He just wanted her to stop running.
She breathed deep and faced him again. “Go back to school, Landon. Take Hope on a date.” She shook her head. “Don’t wait for me. We’re just friends.”
“Ashley, you can’t—”
She released his hand. “Don’t. I mean it. I can’t promise you anything. Not now, and probably not ever.” She moved closer and took his face in her hands. For a long beat she looked at him, like she was lost in his eyes. Then she kissed him on his lips. Not the kiss of longing and desperation from earlier. This was a goodbye kiss.
There was no mistaking the difference.
She stepped back. “You matter to me, Landon. No matter what I’ve said or done.” She brushed her thumb over his brow again. “Ever since you stuck up for me in fifth grade. There’s never been anyone else.”
She hadn’t said she loved him, not in so many words. But she had told him she had never stopped caring. In a friendship sort of way. But still, it was more than he had expected for tonight. He nodded, and he felt a smile come over him.
Tears welled in her eyes. “I could do no wrong backthen. You defended me to everyone.” She let her voice grow soft again. “Even myself.”
“Someone needs to…” He hugged her. Like he might never see her again—which was always possible with Ashley Baxter. “I love you, Ash.” He looked into her eyes once more. “I always will.”
She only smiled. When he released her, she stepped back and crossed her arms. “I’m glad we had tonight. And I’ll never forget what you did… for Cole.” She paused and looked over her shoulder at the front door. “Which reminds me. I really need to go.”
He nodded. “Okay.” With all his strength he forced himself to back up toward his car. “You’re a good mom, Ashley. You are.” He winked at her. “See you around, Ash.”
“See ya, Landon.”
