17
 
 After the wedding Landon stopped by his house to change. Jeans and a T-shirt were more fitting for the after-party. When his parents asked him where he was headed, Landon only smiled. “Catching up with some friends.”
 
 If he told them he was spending the late evening at the Baxters’, they would think he needed counseling. Which maybe he did. Either way, he was going. But not without a gift for Cole.
 
 The idea of getting something for Ashley’s baby had dawned on him as he left the wedding. He’d never been allowed this close to Ashley, and so he’d never properly welcomed the little guy into the world.
 
 Another severe thunderstorm was closing in around Bloomington, and the city was still under a tornado watch. Landon didn’t care. He was thrilled at the chance to go out and buy something for Cole. Maybe the gift would be a peace offering, and Ashley would see he was okay with dating her—even if she had a baby.
 
 He drove to the bookstore while thunder sounded overhead. A cold front was moving in and by the looks ofthe swaying trees on either side of the road, the after-party would be inside.
 
 Maybe even in the basement.
 
 Landon walked to the children’s section and found a baby devotional. Short stories and basic Bible verses. Something Ashley might read to Cole in their quiet time at home. He looked the book over and flipped through a few pages.
 
 But maybe not. Ashley’s views on God hadn’t changed. She still didn’t share her parents’ faith, didn’t want Landon’s love for the Lord or for Scripture. If there was a God, she had told Landon, He didn’t care about His people.
 
 That’s the way she saw it.
 
 Landon stared at the sweet baby devotional and slowly set it back on the shelf. It was the perfect gift. But not right now. Ashley wouldn’t read it to Cole, anyway. He moved to the Dr. Seuss section.Horton Hears a Who!Landon flipped the book over and read the back cover copy.
 
 A person’s a person, no matter how small.
 
 Yes, that would be better. For now, anyway.
 
 Landon grabbed a blue gift bag and tissue paper and at the last minute a blank card with a picture of yellow flowers on the front. So he could write Ashley a letter. Then he headed for the cashier. All the while he couldn’t keep his thoughts anchored in the here and now. He paid for his purchase and was walking back to his Toyota when lightning cut through the sky in the distance. Afew seconds later thunder shook the ground. He stared at the clouds overhead. No rain.
 
 But that was coming.
 
 As soon as he was behind the wheel he assembled the gift. But like earlier his mind was a million minutes back in time. Christmas break of his freshman year. He had come home expecting Ashley to be there, ready to talk and figure things out. Never mind that she had barely spoken to him when he called or that she never responded to his letters.
 
 Christmas was coming, of course she’d talk to him. They would get together and break the ice that had built up since the accident. And then they’d hug for a long time and life between them would begin again. That’s how he saw it happening.
 
 But he had never been more wrong.
 
 A few days after getting home Ashley asked if they could meet. This was it, he had told himself. The moment when she would tell him she was making strides toward healing. That she was at least believing she could move on from her grief.
 
 Instead she had used the time to tell him two things. First, she was moving to Paris. And second, she could never be his friend. The two of them were over. For good.
 
 He could picture her that Sunday afternoon—more beautiful than ever—her heart frozen solid. Her eyes told the story. Ashley was no longer the girl he had fallen for in Mr. Garrett’s fifth-grade class. She wasn’t his promdate from less than a year earlier. She was different. Completely.
 
 And nothing was going to fix that.
 
 Landon saw her a few more times that break. The chemistry was still there, he could feel it, and he was sure she did, too. They still gravitated toward each other and made eye contact across any room. A few times they had awkward conversations—at his family’s Christmas open house and again when they ran into each other at Luke’s high school basketball game.
 
 Toward the end of break, Landon attended Ashley’s going away party, but she turned in early and never said more than a quick goodbye to him. The next night – just before her flight – Landon went to her house in a blinding snowstorm. Anything to change her mind.
 
 But in the end, she held her ground. She left for Paris and didn’t look back.
 
 So with Ashley wanting nothing to do with him, Landon poured his attention into his new friends. Jalen and Hope. It was spring of his sophomore year when he returned to school and the three of them became inseparable. But always there was Ashley. There in the corner of his mind, woven into the depths of his heart.
 
 Another flash of lightning jolted him back to the present as Landon pulled into the Baxters’ driveway and found his familiar parking spot. How much time had passed since he’d been here? He killed the engine, grabbed the gift and then reached for the door handle.
 
 But something wouldn’t let him get out of the car.
 
 He set the gift down on the seat beside him, and leaned back. The card for Ashley. He needed to write her a letter. In case tonight didn’t go the way he planned. In case he didn’t have the chance to tell her how he still felt.
 
 Landon pulled the card from the bag and found a pen in the glove compartment. Then as if his heart had sprung a leak, for the next five minutes he poured his feelings onto both sides of the blank paper and slid it into the envelope.