Page 53 of The Baxters
What good had God ever done for her? She was practically out the door headed to Baylor, ready tostudy art and live out four dreamy years as Landon’s girlfriend.
“If only I’d stayed home that night,” Ashley whispered in the dark. As if in response, a lightning bolt sliced the sky. The storm was moving closer.
Of course.
After all, Landon was almost here and then there would most certainly be a tornado. Her heart would be picked up and spun around and dropped to the floor. Whether the wind actually grew stronger outside or not.
She leaned her shoulder against the cool wall and the memories came unbidden. Memories of the last year, so many months she would rather forget. And she could see herself in Paris, alone and afraid.
Once she had decided to keep her baby, she knew her days in France were numbered. Two weeks after she ran from the abortion clinic, the gallery owner found out about her affair and fired her.
The same day, her landlord must have gotten news about what happened, because she was waiting when Ashley came home. “You are pregnant.” The woman sneered at Ashley. “You will need to find other arrangements. Immediately.”
Ashley could hardly believe it. She didn’t even have time to say goodbye to her neighbor friend, Celia. Running low on money, Ashley found a sketchy hostel in the neighboring district, where she paid for a single bunk and a shared shower.
After that she found a job at a small bakery. The place was in an undesirable part of Paris, but it allowed her to survive. Ashley worked on her feet and when waves of nausea and exhaustion hit, she would lean against the counter and steady herself.
And somehow during those long, frightening days, Ashley seemed to find her way back to God. Not to the faith of her family, but to a God who loved her even after all she had done. At least it felt that way at the time. She even shared that momentary faith with another pregnant girl at the bakery, a French woman who had battled drug addiction.
Ashley was maybe six months along when a couple of older women came into the bakery and ordered coffee. One of them pointed to Ashley’s belly. “Congratulations, dear,” she said in English. “When are you due?”
Until then Ashley had thought she was hiding her pregnancy well. She was lean and long, and with her loose-fitting, artsy shirts she figured no one would ever know. But if a stranger could walk in and see that she was expecting, Ashley knew she didn’t have long before she made a plan. Her baby would be coming soon.
On top of that, shady men had been following her to and from work. At times, she had a sense her life was in danger. Throughout it all, she never once called home. Not even after her decision to keep her baby. She couldn’t bear to hear her mother’s concern on the other end of the line. But one night after working at the bakery, Ashley finally dialed the familiar number.
“Ashley, you haven’t called us in so long.” Her mother’s relief was as tangible as the tears on Ashley’s face. “We were worried.”
Ashley had squeezed her eyes shut. “I know. I’m sorry.” She didn’t dare mention the baby. “Mom… I want to come home.”
And like that, Ashley’s failed time in Paris was over. Because of her own choices, she was pregnant, broke, and desperate. Her dream of being an artist had failed in a way that defied Ashley’s understanding.
“I can’t afford the flight home.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Please… can you help me? I’ll pay you back.”
There was a pause on the other end and Ashley’s heart sank. The news of her financial troubles would’ve been hard for her mother to understand. Ashley’s parents had arranged for their attorney to give Ashley a portion of the settlement money from the accident up front. For her time in Paris. The rest wouldn’t come till she turned twenty-one.
But now those funds were gone.
“Ashley. You… you’re out of money?” It was the only time her mother had sounded surprised.
Ashley wasn’t sure what to say. “I am.” Ashley hung her head and pressed the phone to her face. “I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything later.”
Of course, her mom didn’t hesitate, and didn’t ask questions beyond that. She arranged for Ashley’s flight and the next day she boarded a 747 for New York City.She didn’t cry until her layover at JFK, just hours from Indiana, and the inevitable news. News that she had known would crush her entire family.
Ashley blinked a few times. The wind was picking up outside, but she still saw no sign of Landon’s car. Maybe he wasn’t coming. He had probably thought it through and realized seeing Ashley again was a waste of time. For both of them.
Tears blurred Ashley’s vision, and she blinked again. She wouldn’t cry. Not now, not when Landon still might be coming to see her. She closed her eyes and lay back on her childhood bedspread.
As she got off the plane that afternoon at the Indianapolis airport, Ashley had a used maternity book in her backpack. She was seven months pregnant by then, and according to chapter 12 she should’ve been over being sick. Which could only mean one thing.
She was nauseous not because of the baby growing inside her. But from what faced her at the end of the Jetway.
Like always those days, Ashley wore a loose flouncy top, long enough to hide her unzipped jeans. But she had always been skinny and now her thin frame did nothing to hide her basketball-size bump.
Forever she would remember watching her parents’ faces as she walked off the plane. They were waiting for her at the gate, of course. Because they really did love her that much. Whatever had caused her to cut short her time in Paris, they would be there. That was the Baxter way.
Ashley watched their faces light up as they spotted her. But as she approached them, as the other passengers peeled off in their own directions, and Ashley’s entire body came into view, she saw both their gazes fall to her pregnant belly.
Her dad took a step back and stared at the floor. Then barely a second later he lifted his face and returned to the spot next to her mom. He straightened his shoulders and waited for her.
