Page 6 of The Baxters
She blinked and found two packs of streamers near the top of the first bag. “That’s what I was thinking.” She set the decorations on the counter. “Time never stops.” Her voice trailed off as she emptied the first brown paper bag. A bottle of ketchup and two more packs of hamburger buns. Mayonnaise and extra potato chips and cookies. Halfway through the second bag she felt John looking at her.
Their gazes held, and John’s blue eyes warmed the space between them. He was still so handsome. “Elizabeth… you’re doing it again.” He angled his head, clearly seeing her troubled heart. “I can see it.”
Her focus fell to the groceries again. How did he always know? She sighed. “I’m worried. I can’t help it. Every one of our kids is giving me a reason, John.”
“Honey.” He took hold of her hand. “Worry won’t change a thing. You know that.”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes for a long moment. “I’ll let it go. I will.” Her gaze found his. “It’s just… I have to help the girls get ready for the wedding in a few hours and I have… this feeling.” She sounded weary as her voice dropped. “I’m afraid of something I can’t see.”
“Afraid?” Concern deepened the fine lines on his forehead. He put his other hand on her shoulder. “That bad?”
“Yes. Even for ourrealoldest. The one we don’t know.” She looked to the dark clouds outside the window. “He would be twenty-eight next week.”
John drew her close. For a long moment he swayed with her. “His birthday and Cole’s are on the same day.”
“Yes.” Elizabeth closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest. “I love that you remember.”
“Our firstborn.” John drew back and looked deep into her eyes again. “I still can’t believe I never met him. The adoptive couple took him away too soon.”
“I hate that.” Tears stung at Elizabeth’s eyes. “I… I had no choice. My parents…”
“I know.” He kissed her forehead. “Shhh. We don’t have to go over it again.” He searched her eyes, her soul. “The social worker told you to move on, not to think about him.” His hand framed her face. “But that would never be your heart, Elizabeth.” He hesitated. “It’s never been mine, either. I won’t ever forget.”
“Thank you.” She leaned her forehead against his shoulder. It was enough to know John felt the same way, that he thought about their oldest son and remembered his birthday. Elizabeth looked at him once more. “It’s still my prayer, John. That I find him. If it’s the last thing I do.”
“Mine, too.” He held her a little longer. Then he stepped away and picked up one pack of the streamers. His tone lifted. “But for now, my dear, we have an after-party to decorate for! And a precious daughter who is about to have her dream wedding.”
“True.” Elizabeth basked in the way John made her feel. Like everything would be okay.
He raised one eyebrow. “And in the garage I have eight cases of pop that still need to be loaded into the van and taken to the reception hall.” He stopped and listened. The wind was getting stronger. “Is Ashley here?”
“Not yet. In an hour or so. I have Cole’s crib ready.” A smile caught Elizabeth off guard. “He’s the light of my days, that Cole. Such a happy little guy. He grins so big every time he sees us.” She opened one pack of streamers and stretched out the white paper. “If only I could say the same about his mother.” The words came before she could stop them.
John stepped back and leaned against the doorframe. He exhaled like this was a topic he didn’t want to talk about. Not with Kari’s wedding hours away. “Ashley tries.” Patience softened his words. “She’ll figure it out.” Again he closed the distance between them. He ran hishand over her still-dark hair. “Our daughter needs time. The same way we did at her age.”
He was right. Elizabeth put thoughts of their middle daughter from her mind. She held up the roll of streamers and remembered to smile. “A little tape and we’ll make this a party.”
Peace seemed to come over John as he helped her tack one end to the upper corner of the kitchen. Elizabeth felt him watch her as she twisted the thin white paper and stretched it to the opposite wall.
“You’re quiet.” John’s eyes were still on her. “I didn’t mean to shut you down.”
There it was. Another reason Elizabeth needed him so. When her heart hurt, he felt the pain. Even now, on a day of celebration. When they were supposed to be happy. If something was wrong with her, John would get to the bottom of it.
He raised his brow. “Talk to me, my love. What are you thinking in that pretty head of yours?”
Elizabeth taped the streamer into place and ripped it from the roll. “How much time do you have?”
“Forever. For you… always forever.” John wasn’t only saying what she wanted to hear. He meant every word. His tone told her that much.
And so while they put up the next streamer, Elizabeth spilled every concern from her troubled heart. “The kids… they’re so old now. Everything they’re doing, the decisions they’re making, the people they’re dating… It all matters. A wrong choice could ruin their lives.” Shesighed. “I guess…” She taped another streamer to the high edge of the room. Then she turned and shrugged one shoulder. There was no hiding the sadness in her voice. “If I’m honest… this isn’t how I pictured things going.”
John took her hand. “Come outside. We have time.”
She set the roll of streamers on the floor. Then she followed him to the spot where they’d laughed and cried and celebrated through the years. The swing on their front porch. Despite the wind, the air was warm. Typical for this time of year. It was the approaching cold front that made the sky unstable. They settled in, side by side, and looked at the familiar view.
“Do you remember the first time we sat here? The night we moved in?” He wove his fingers between hers and set the swing in gentle motion.
An easy laugh came from her. “The moving van got hung up. We slept on the living room floor.”
