Page 47 of The Baxters
She squeezed her eyes shut. If that was true, Ashley would spend the rest of her life alone. “You need a good girl, Landon. Someone like you.”
The song wasn’t over yet, but Landon took a half step back. “What’s that even mean? A good girl?” He laughed once, hurt filling his voice. “No one’s good. You know that. We all have something.”
“Not you.” Ashley closed the gap. This wasn’t the time to talk it through. If she had it her way that time would never come. Better they live their own lives without a closing argument. But if she had to tell him the truth, she would. Maybe later tonight.
She remembered to smile. “You’re always good, Landon.”
A flicker in his eyes told her he didn’t agree. “You don’t know everything.”
His answer surprised her. “What?” She found her familiar teasing smile. “Did you break curfew at college?”
Frustration flashed across his face. “You’re making fun of me? Is that it?” He still held her, still ran histhumb along her cheek with his other hand. “You’re not the only one who makes mistakes, Ash.”
Part of her wanted to know what he was talking about, what the handsome, clean-cut Landon Blake could ever have done to mar his perfect image. But a conversation like that would lead nowhere. Whatever it was, he had never slept with someone who was married.
She moved her hand to the back of his head, feeling his hair against her fingers. The music was coming to an end. “The two of us… whatever we’ve done or not done… we’re in the past, Landon.” She felt her eyes fill with light for all the days gone by. “Thank you.”
“Thank you?” He hadn’t let go, hadn’t made a move to leave the dance floor. Another song was beginning, a line dance. He studied her, clearly confused. Again he moved closer, his face inches from hers, his words so hushed she almost didn’t hear them. “That’s it?”
Ashley wanted him to kiss her, desired it the way she hadn’t since her senior prom. But before that might happen, she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry.” She felt the sadness in her smile, even as she eased away from him and walked off the dance floor.
At the same time she heard a baby crying. She turned and saw Elaine bouncing Cole, tending to him. The woman cast Ashley a helpless look. Ashley wasn’t the best mother, she would be the first to admit that. Normally in a situation like this she would be happy to have someone else take care of Cole.
So she could dance and laugh and pretend she wasn’t a young unwed mother.
But here and now Cole was the perfect distraction. She hurried to Elaine and took her baby from her arms. “Thank you.” She held her little son close and kissed the top of his head. “Does he need a bottle?”
“Maybe.” Elaine looked relieved. “I made one a few minutes ago. He didn’t want it.” She handed the stillwarm bottle to Ashley. “Could just be too loud in here for him.”
“Yes.” Ashley felt herself kick into mom gear. She sat down at Elaine’s table and put the bottle to Cole’s lips. He took it with gusto, as if he were starving.
Elaine smiled. “I guess he just wanted you.” She looked out at the dance floor. “I think I’ll join my friends for a while.”
“Please. Go ahead.” Ashley nodded to the woman. “Thank you again.”
When Elaine was gone, Ashley sat back in the chair and held Cole close. Poor baby. She really did love him. It’s just… she wasn’t ready. Her mom was so much better at being a mother. The more Ashley left him at her parents’ house, the more she enjoyed her time away.
All of which was wrong. She knew it.
Warm in her arms, Cole settled down. Halfway through the bottle, he sighed, his eyes still on hers. Once more he seemed to have a certain look about him. This time as if he wanted to ask her one burning question. “Mommy… why don’t you hold me more?”
“I’m sorry, Cole.” She ran her fingers over his soft wispy blond hair. “You deserve better. Like everyone else in my life.”
Until now she hadn’t looked up, hadn’t checked to see where Landon had gone. Now, with Cole finally content and finishing his bottle, Ashley lifted her eyes just enough to scan the room. It took a minute, but she finally spotted him at one of the tables in the back. He was sitting with her brother, Luke, and one of Luke’s friends.
Perfect. She rolled her eyes and looked back at her little boy. Frustration flashed in her heart. Didn’t Landon know how rude Luke had been? How he had barely talked to Ashley since she returned from Paris, and how he hadn’t held Cole even once?
She thought about that. No, of course Landon didn’t know. Ashley had barely spoken to him since she’d been back. Again she studied Landon, his easy smile and the way Luke laughed at something Landon said.
And suddenly she wasn’t frustrated.I should be there,she told herself.Sitting between them. Talking about something funny that happened last week and letting Landon back into my life. We should be here together and we should leave together.
Why was she so stubborn?
Her gaze landed on the flowers at the center of the table. They really were beautiful. Maybe one day—if the painting thing didn’t work out—she would be a florist. In fact, the room looked like something from a fairy tale,twinkling lights draped over the dance floor and a couple hundred guests dressed in their wedding best.
But even that couldn’t keep her from finding Landon across the room again. Ashley was glad for the shadows. She was pretty sure Landon didn’t know where she was sitting. The band started playing a slow song, one that she and Landon had loved back in high school.
Before she could turn away, from across the room Landon looked over his shoulder and caught her eyes. He started to smile, but as quickly as she could she stared back at Cole. A strange heat made its way through her cheeks. What was she doing? If she wanted him to leave her alone, then she needed to do the same to him.
