Page 21 of The Baxters
Of course, Ashley had no idea about any of that. No one on her medical team thought it right to tell her. They agreed it would be days before she could talk about details of the accident.
But outside the hospital, the town grieved.
There were no words for the loss of Jefferson, no way to explain why he’d jerked the wheel, and whether he had known he was putting himself in danger. Improving Ashley’s odds. Saving her life.
Landon attended the memorial along with most of Bloomington High’s student body. Before the service got underway, Landon found Luke Baxter. The two hugged, and Landon spoke straight to Ashley’s brother. “I’m sorry, Luke. Your friend… he gave his life for Ashley’s.”
Luke nodded. “Jefferson always had a crush on her.” Luke wiped at an errant tear. “People say they aren’t sure if he jerked the wheel so he’d take the impact.” Luke nodded, as his lip quivered. “I know my friend. He did it on purpose. Of course he did.”
Luke stared at the casket near the front of the church. “Jefferson loved Jesus. And he loved people.” He turned and looked at Landon once more. “I’ll see him again. I know it.”
When the memorial was over, when all the tears for that day had been cried and all the honoring words and memories had been spoken, the crowd dispersed and Landon made his way back to his Camaro. There was just one place he wanted to be.
At the hospital, next to Ashley.
Landon remembered how his own tears fell as he made the drive to see her that afternoon. What would she feel when she found out what happened? Would she think the accident was her fault?
The answers wouldn’t come quickly or easily, Landon knew that.
Ashley had been asleep when he got there. He took the chair by her bed and waited, watching her, studying her. As horrific as the crash had been, she didn’t have a scratch on her beautiful face. All the damage had been internal. Her organs and hip bones. Her bruised brain and cracked sternum.
After a while he left her room and grabbed a sandwich in the cafeteria. When he returned, Ashley was awake, sitting up in bed. Landon took his familiar chair, but this time Ashley didn’t stay quiet. She didn’t seem as drugged or sleepy. Her expression was dark.
He took her hand. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She didn’t smile. Her eyes locked onto his and held. “What happened, Landon? Tell me… about the accident.”
Landon’s mind raced, thinking of the right thing to say. But in the end he didn’t have to find an answer. Justat that moment her parents entered the room. John Baxter looked at him. “Landon… if you don’t mind.” He nodded to the door. “We need a few minutes alone with her. Please.”
“Yes, sir.” Landon didn’t learn the details of their conversation until later that afternoon. Her dad found him in the cafeteria and explained.
“She needed to know. It was time.” Her dad pressed his lips together. “We told her… about the accident, how serious it was.” He paused. “And about Jefferson.”
A sinking feeling came over Landon. As strong as Ashley was, the news could actually cripple her. Landon had feared that from the beginning. “How… did she take it?”
“She’s in shock.” Dr. Baxter looked concerned. “She took my hand and squeezed it. Same with her mother.” He shook his head. “But she didn’t say a word.”
Before Dr. Baxter got up to leave he warned Landon. “Don’t try to talk to her right away. Give her time.” He stood. “But in time… if she’s going to open up to anyone, it’ll be you.”
Landon nodded. Ashley’s mother joined in then, and the three of them hugged. “Go to her, Landon.” Her mother took his hand. “She needs you. Whether she knows it or not.”
Those words stayed with Landon as he went to see her.Whether she knows it or not. Strange thing to say, he had thought. Of course Ashley knew it. The two of them were in love. They were about to spend four years togetherat Baylor University. Ashley would never doubt that she needed him.
Especially now.
But when he walked through the door of her room, she was staring at the opposite wall. He took his time crossing the floor and taking his chair. “Hi.”
She didn’t answer. Didn’t look at him. And for the first time since Ashley Baxter had walked into his life, Landon felt something he’d never felt before.
Fear.
He waited like her father had said. Waited while ten minutes became twenty, and twenty became an hour. Only then did she turn and look at him. “Why?” There was a coolness in her eyes that Landon had never seen before.
He didn’t have to ask what she meant. He already knew. Why did it happen? Why Jefferson? Why not her? Landon had no answers. Finally he said the only thing that came to mind. “Luke thinks… Jefferson turned the wheel on purpose. To save you.”
Anger flickered in her eyes, but her voice was almost too soft to hear. “That makes it okay? For God to take his life and I’m still here?”
The air in the room suddenly felt thick. Landon worked to take his next breath. She had never talked to him like this. “Ashley… God knows the number of our days. He didn’t… ‘take’ Jefferson.” Landon studied her and a silent prayer formed in his heart.Please, God… don’t let her turn against You.He searched her eyes. “Goddidn’t cause the accident.” He reached for her hand. “You know that, Ash.”
