Page 11 of The Baxters
If his mother knew what he was thinking, even now she would encourage him to go.
“She must be confused,” his mother had told him at least twenty times since his injury. “I know Kari Baxter. I watched her grow up.” His mom would shake her head. “Kari never would’ve walked out of that hospital without a reason.” When Ryan would barely nod or not respond at all, his mother would try again. “Call her, Ryan. Work it out.”
He had tried. Ryan opened the yearbook. If only it had been that easy.
His fingers found their way across the familiar glossy pages until he reached the football section. On one of the adjacent layouts was a spread for the cheerleaders. He didn’t have to squint to find Kari in the mix of girls. She was the only one he could see. Then and now.
Long dark hair, bright blue eyes. The two of them met the summer just before Kari started seventh grade and Ryan, ninth. Their dads had worked together at the hospital. One Saturday in July his parents hosted a cookout and invited the Baxter family. Ryan had been outside playing football with a friend, shirt off, tan and sweaty, when his dad called him in to eat.
He was fourteen and she was twelve. It was the first moment he had ever seen Kari, and he hadn’t been the same since. He remembered how it felt that day when their eyes met, how he was suddenly self-conscious. He slipped his shirt on. Kari was beautiful but she was young.
Too young to flirt with or tease or act interested in.
Even still they hit it off that night and hung out a number of times as July and August played out. That beautiful endless summer.
Ryan breathed deep and let his mind drift back to that first meeting. Their parents had been playing board games inside, and Ryan and Kari had taken a spot on the front porch to watch the stars. “I’m going to play football in the pros one day,” he had told her.
“You’ll be the best.” Her eyes shone in the moonlight. “I’m going to be a cheerleader. And then a dancer. And maybe a writer.” Her smile had set fire to his heart. “Wherever my dreams take me.”
Ryan had loved that about her even then. Kari was a dreamer, a girl who saw the deeper side of life.
Their first rough patch happened that fall. She wasin seventh grade, and taller than her friends. Prettier. Their middle school included ninth grade, and anyone could’ve mistaken her for a freshman. And that’s what happened when Kari came up to Ryan at his lunch table the first week of school.
His friends were instantly crazy about her.
Not sure what to do, Ryan played it cool. He told the guys to back off. She was a kid, just a seventh grader. Meanwhile, Kari took a spot with some girls a few tables away. Her expression told him she was hurt.
The guys did as Ryan asked. No one in ninth grade wanted to be caught flirting with a seventh-grade girl. But one of them, Buck Colter, pushed him, giving him a hard time. “What about you, Taylor?” His voice was too loud. “You got a thing for that seventh grader?” He pointed at Kari. “Go on, you can tell us.”
“No!” Ryan had no choice but to respond. “She’s a family friend, okay? That’s it.”
Ryan had only been trying to defend her. His buddies on the football team would never understand the truth, that his heart already belonged to Kari. Even if she was just a kid.
Kari didn’t talk to him much the rest of the school year. But when June rolled around and their families took a camping trip, the two found their way back together. What they shared was nothing more than a friendship, really. No hand-holding, no talk of dating. They were both too young.
And when school started he was at BloomingtonHigh. They would wait two more years before she finally joined him, so summers were all they had. When she finally graced the halls of his high school, again Ryan kept his distance. Seniors didn’t date sophomores. Kari was still too young.
Ryan looked at the yearbook page again.
Fall of his senior year had been the best, because she made the varsity cheerleading squad. Which meant she was there on the sidelines every Friday night. So that mid-game, a glimpse of Kari Baxter was as simple as shifting his gaze.
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.
Their first date didn’t come until her sixteenth birthday and that hadn’t gone very well. Ryan had gotten permission from Dr. Baxter. Still, the awkwardness of that night had washed over him and filled his baffled heart. He could see her now, holding the roses he’d given her as he picked her up at her house.
At the end of the date, though, he told her the truth. He couldn’t kiss her. Couldn’t be her boyfriend no matter what he wanted. He was leaving for college. They needed to go their separate ways. At least for now.
Kari took the news hard, so as soon as Ryan got settled in his dorm he called her. He was sorry, he told her. He hadn’t meant to end things. And so the friendship between them remained.
They didn’t start truly dating until his father died just before Christmas break his sophomore year in college. Ryan survived the tragedy of that time onlybecause of Kari Baxter. She had been there for him every minute of that sad season. Listening, leaning on his shoulder. Holding his hand.
Before he went back to school, he kissed her for the first time. After that there was no turning back. Ryan knew that he would love her till the day he died. He still felt that way.
Once more he looked at the yearbook. Whenever he tried to understand what had happened, how come she had walked away, he always landed on the same thing. She must not have wanted to date an NFL player. Which was weird, because she’d known that was his dream since they were kids.
But what else could explain it? She had come to the hospital to see him, come to make sure he was okay. And when she had her information, she and her dad had turned around and headed back to Bloomington.
Even now that story didn’t add up. The Kari Baxter he had known would’ve at least talked to him, tried to explain herself. If she’d been afraid of his sport, or if she didn’t want him going to player parties, she could’ve said so.
