Page 42 of A Distant Shore
“Sir”—Eliza’s answer had been chilling—“I’ve beenacting all my life. Talking girls into coming to the Palace.” Her eyes had held a certainty even greater than before. “I am not interested in romance or love or sex. Pretending will be easy… especially with Agent Ryder.”
And with that, Oliver had the assurance he needed. He didn’t have to worry about Jack and Eliza falling in love. Hardly. She wasn’t a risk when it came to romantic dealings with his star undercover agent. Or any agent at the bureau. Terri had questioned the girl extensively in the days after her rescue. The fact was, Eliza had just one set of feelings for men.
She hated them.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
—Psalm 13:2
The one truth Jack could not admit to anyone, not even himself, was the thing Oliver Layton had so easily seen. He was falling for Eliza.
Jack didn’t want to care about the girl. He had made up his mind years ago never to fall in love. He would never marry and he wouldn’t have children. Rather, he would spend his days and months and years working for the bureau, putting his life in danger.
Again and again and again.
And if he died doing it, that was fine. This was the only life worth living.
But now, for the first time since he’d been sworn in, Jack cared about whether he came home at the end of the day. Because he wanted one more chance to see Eliza, to talk to her. To be near her. His feelings confused him and taunted him and mocked him when he tried to sleep at night.
It wasn’t that he cared for her the way an ordinary man might care for an ordinary woman. This wasn’t romance or love or butterflies. It was that one unbelievable truth, the single detail Jack couldn’t get past.
The fact that Eliza was the little girl he had saved.
Lately, Jack relived that single moment over and over, so that once again he was pushing through the current, swimming to the little girl. He had almost reached her when he could hear shouting from the beach behind him. And he was looking over his shoulder and seeing Shane, swimming toward him.
He’ll get back to shore,Jack would tell himself again.Someone will swim out to help. The little girl needed him.Who else is going to save her?And every time he replayed the moment, Jack chose the little girl. Every single time.
Her life… or his brother’s.
Jack had always wondered if rescuing the child had even mattered. Had she gone home from vacation and forgotten the ordeal ever took place? But now he knew the truth. So yes, he had feelings for her. Of course he did. He could still remember her clinging to his shoulders as he swam her to shore. Still feel her nearly dead body cradled against his chest as he ran up the beach. He handed her over and he could still see the way she lay limp in the woman’s arms.
Because of the constant memories, he found himself thinking about God in a way he hadn’t in years. Someone who had lost all that he had lost might not believe in God. Unless it was to believe God had singled him out for pain.
But now, Jack wasn’t sure. That blond little girl was back in his life, about to take a mission with him to the Bahamas. How could it not feel like some master plan that God had orchestrated?
Jack had his bag packed. A bureau black SUV looking very much like an Uber would pick him up in half an hour. Eliza was staying at a Marriott near the airport booked under her assumed name, so there would be no doubt about who she was—and who she wasn’t. From this morning on, she was not Eliza. He couldn’t call her that or think of her that way.
She was Masey. And he was Luke.
He looked around the room and spotted his father’s old leather Bible at the top of his bookcase. Of all things. Jack hadn’t read a Bible since before Shane died. He crossed the room and pulled it from its place. This was the Bible his dad would read aloud on Sunday evenings before the family readied for another week. Jack turned to his father’s favorite chapter. The man knew it by heart. Jack did, too. But right now he wanted to read the words for himself. The way he hadn’t in so many years.
The passage was from Psalm 23.
He started at the beginning and read the words silently.
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
