Page 10 of When We Were Young
For a while there was quiet between them. “Is that what happened?” Kari was quick to complete her thought. “I mean, at first you smiled for the camera. Whydidyou stop?”
Emily looked at her coffee cup. The first memory that came to her was on her lips before she could stop it. “It’s the fans. The other girls.” She looked up. “Over time he started, I don’t know... talking with them more often.” She paused, hating the way her heart hurt. “I walked into the office one night about a year ago and he was chatting with some blonde. Back and forth. Like they were friends.”
“Got it.” A shadow fell over Kari’s face. “I can see why you aren’t so quick to smile.”
“Exactly.” Emily wasn’t sure she was explaining it right. “I mean, I know he’s not really into these girls.” She felt the tears again. “I don’t think so, anyway.” A sick feeling started in her stomach. “But he loves being a celebrity to them. Loves the attention and the enormous following. The fame.” She hated putting this into words. “He isn’tthatshallow. Really. He can’t be.” She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them she looked right at Kari. “He had the deepest heart before.”
“So... he talks to these girls because they’re fans... of the two of you?”
“Right.” Emily exhaled. “But I think a lot of the girls might have wrong motives. Half of them comment on his looks. How I’m so lucky to have a guy like him. How he’s so hot. That sort of thing.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I think he likes it because he keeps chatting online with them. When me and the kids are right there in the other room.” Her tone grew more intense. “Like, get off the computer and come be with your family.”
“Yes. You’re right.” Kindness filled Kari’s tone. “A couple times when I went on your profile I saw women saying things like that. Those flirty comments.” She paused. “And he’s been spending more and more time talking with them?”
“So much time.” Emily waved her hand in the air. “He’s missing out on me and the kids because he’s on the computer. Constantly.” She leaned back. “He sees nothing wrong with it. He says all he ever talks about with these fans is me. Us. How they should turn to God. They’re just followers. Fans.” Tears stung her eyes again. “Meanwhile I’m putting the kids to bed by myself. Going to bed by myself. And waking up in the morning to Noah staging some photo shoot around the breakfast table.”
This time Kari looked down for a moment. When she lifted her eyes her expression was filled with sorrow. “So... You’ve lost what’s real.”
“Yes.” Finally someone understood. “Over what’s virtual.”
“I’d be upset, too.” Kari reached out and took her hands again. Her next words did not come quickly. “Emily... God is a God of miracles, you know that.”
Emily was beginning to wonder. First her mother, then Clara. Now losing Noah. The sound of Aiden’s and Olivia’s laughter came again from upstairs. Emily whispered, “I guess.” Her tone wasn’t convincing.
“It’s true. Your marriage isn’t over yet.” Kari hesitated. “God can do anything. Even now.”
Tears threatened once more, but Emily held them back. She had said all she could say. A half hour later she had gathered her kids and thanked the Taylors for caring. On the drive home she thought about the details she’d shared with Kari. She could’ve gone into greater depth, but why? No sense talking about each fight or angry night or the moments when Emily was certain they were headed for divorce. Noah was moving out in the morning.
That said it all.
•••
KARI WAS STILLreeling an hour after Emily and the kids left. Ryan had been busy helping RJ with a science experiment, but now—with dinner and homework behind them, Kari asked Ryan to take a walk. The storms had rolled through and the night was calm. A cool breeze hung in the evening air.
When they were alone, the gentle wind on their faces, Kari gave Ryan the details. How Emily no longer wanted to be part of their social media fame, how she had come to believe their public persona was all that mattered to Noah. And how he spent all of his time online, talking to his female fans.
“Emily is hurt, and it seems like Noah no longer feels loved and respected by Emily...”
“I can see that.” Ryan gave a side nod, like he was considering the sad situation. “If Emily’s always frustrated with him and disapproving—for good reason—then Noah’s going to feel shot down. Not a good situation for either of them.”
“Exactly. They’ve reached an impasse.” She sighed. “Noah’s leaving tomorrow.” Kari glanced at her husband as they walked toward the park at the end of their street.
“What?” Ryan looked shocked. “I can’t believe it. Why didn’t they tell us sooner?”
“I guess they didn’t know what to say.” Kari lifted her eyes to the night sky. “What would that be like, documenting every moment and outing, every emotion and thought for all the world to see?”
Ryan shuddered. “Miserable.” He took hold of her hand and slipped it into his jacket pocket.
For a while they walked with just the rustle of the wet fallen leaves on the ground and the occasional barking dog. Kari took a long breath. “We need to pray, Ryan. I mean, they can still make this work.” She loved the feel of Ryan’s fingers between hers. Lately things had been a little tense between them, too. “With God all things are possible, right?”
“Definitely.” Ryan had the same look as when he tried to help Jessie with trigonometry. Like the answer had to be out there somewhere. “They need to pull the plug on the social media. That’s for sure.”
“Noah won’t consider that.” Kari almost hated to say it. “They make money on it. Advertisers pay them for their posts.” She slowed her pace. “Did you know that?”
“No.” Ryan looked discouraged. Again they walked in quiet for a few minutes. “Remember...” Ryan’s voice was softer, “when it felt like we didn’t have a chance?”
A swirl of memories filled Kari’s heart. “We were so young. So many misunderstandings.” She ran her thumb along Ryan’s. “There you were lying in a hospital bed with a neck injury...”
“And all you could hear was that nurse telling you my girlfriend had been by.” Ryan stopped walking and faced her. The love in his eyes was the same as it had been all those years ago.
