Page 12 of In This Moment
“I can’t.” She took another step back, clearly working to maintain control. She closed her eyes, and a series of slow, full breaths followed. A coping mechanism, she’d told him before. Her tone was calm when she continued. “If I can’t... stand by you... it’s wrong for me to stay.” She paused. “I’m broken, Wendell. You need someone whole.”
Be gentle,he told himself.
There were a hundred things Wendell could tell her, ways he could remind her about why she had fallen in love with him in the first place, and how beautiful their summer together had been. But in the end he said nothing. This had to be her decision.
He took a step back. “I’m sorry, Alicia. Whatever you decide... I respect that.”
She reached for his hand and squeezed it. Like it about killed her to let him go. But when she left his office she went without looking back. Wendell moved to the window and watched her walk to her car and drive off.
Suddenly the years melted away and he could see the way Alicia had looked when Wendell first knew something was wrong. Back when they were merely co-workers. Wendell would catch a glimpse of fear in her eyes, even in her happiest moments as a teacher.
He knew now that her fear had a name. A man who had stalked her and terrorized her, loved her and dated her off and on for the past few years. A man she hadn’t quite escaped until recently.
A man named Jack Renton.
Wendell returned to his desk and opened the top drawer. Just inside was a list of phone numbers for law enforcement. People he could call at a moment’s notice if Alicia needed his help. If Jack ever showed up at Hamilton High. The phone number of a buddy who worked for the FBI, and the number for the police chief of the precinct that included Hamilton. Also the number to the courthouse where she could file a restraining order against Jack if ever it came to that.
For today Jack was out of her life. But the man was never far away. Even now.
Wendell pulled a photo from his desk drawer, the one that sat next to the list of phone numbers. It was a picture of Alicia and Wendell the first time they went to dinner. Taken the evening the line between friendship and attraction dissolved like sugar in her iced tea.
The waiter had taken the photo. “Celebrating an anniversary?” he had asked.
Wendell and Alicia had laughed and Wendell spoke first. “More like a first date.”
Surprise had filled the waiter’s eyes. “Could’ve fooled me.” He had winked at Wendell. “You two look like you’ve been together for years. Like you were made for each other.”
Made for each other.Wendell looked at the photograph for a long while. She was pulling away.How can I help her, God?
Another memory came. One from longer back, a year at least. The first time Wendell had figured out what was sucking the life out of Alicia Harris. Wendell had been working late when Alicia hurried back into the school from the parking lot.
She had knocked on his office door, her face stricken.
Immediately, Wendell went to her. “Alicia, what’s wrong?” He searched her eyes. “Is someone hurt?”
“No.” The word sounded like her mouth was dry, and Wendell could see her heartbeat at the base of her throat. She seemed breathless as she continued. “It’s just... my tire’s flat. And my cell phone’s dead. Could I... could I call for a tow truck from your office?”
Wendell knew one thing immediately.
The panic in her voice meant something else was bothering her. Something more grave than just a flat tire.
“You can use my phone.” Wendell took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. “I’ll take a look at your tire.”
“No!” Her answer came too quickly. “I... I’ll call for help. I don’t want to bother you.”
Wendell uttered a confused laugh. “Alicia, I know how to change a tire. Do you have a spare?”
“I’m not... sure.”
Wendell looked intently at the woman. Alicia had always been happy, full of light. But she had changed. Lately she was as distant as she was beautiful. And on that particular day, Alicia was clearly terrified. She looked over her shoulder and then out Wendell’s window and back at him.
Finally she agreed to have Wendell look at her tire. He followed her out to her car and stooped down to examine the problem. That’s when he got his first hint at the secret life Alicia Harris had been living.
Her tire wasn’t only flat. It had been slashed.
Wendell could still remember how he had stood up and looked at her. The fear in her eyes was eclipsed by a raw embarrassment. She hung her head and a few tears fell onto the parking lot asphalt. It was early fall and not that cold. But it might as well have been snowing for how Alicia shivered.
For a long while they just stood there, the truth hanging between them. Something was deeply wrong. After a few seconds Alicia brought her hands to her face and her tears came in earnest. “I’m... sorry. I didn’t want you to find out.”
