Page 21 of A Baxter Family Christmas
“I’m sorry.” John shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Really.”
Two hours later the trees were tied to their cars and after another round of hot chocolate, everyone left. Ashley realized after they were halfway home that she hadn’t hugged her father goodbye. Which she hated. The tension between them was terrible. She and her dad were never like this. Ashley sighed.
Not until after Ashley and Landon and the kids were gathered in the family room setting up their tree in the stand did Landon look around. “Where’s Amy?”
“Upstairs.” Cole was lying on the floor, sliding the trunk of the tree one way and then the other, looking for the perfect spot. “She was tired. Or cold. Maybe both.” He shifted the tree again. “Hey, Dad... what about this?”
Suddenly Ashley had a terrible thought. What if Amy had heard the conversation between Ashley and her father? She was young, but she was keenly aware of discussions around her.
Especially where her mother was concerned.
Ashley padded upstairs and walked to the end of the hall, to Amy’s room. The room that once, a long time ago, was Ashley’s own. The lights were off. Ashley peered inside and walked softly to the bed. Cole was right. Amy was asleep.
For a long time, Ashley stared at the girl.Lord, protect her heart. She’s been through so much loss already. Please help us know how to love her. Especially now... at Christmastime.
She bent down, kissed Amy’s cheek, and left her to sleep.
They would talk about whatever Amy had heard, later.
Ashley and Landon brought out the boxes of ornaments and led the kids in a mass decorating effort. The two of them had to agree with the kids. This was the best tree they’d ever had. It was so pretty it didn’t look real.
After a while, Amy joined them and she seemed as happy as the other kids. Excited about Christmas and thrilled to hang decorations. If she was upset about something said earlier, she didn’t seem like it. Ashley decided not to ask her niece about what she’d heard. The question would just make the child unsettled. Best to leave the possibility alone for now.
Whether it was the cold air or the hike through the tree farm, after decorating the kids were more tired than usual. By eight o’clock they were all in bed. The living room was quiet and Landon found Ashley staring at the photo ornaments they’d collected over the years.
“I feel Christmas most when I’m right here. Beside you.” She smiled up at him and slipped her arms around his waist. “The ornaments Cole made when he was two years old. The photos of the kids through the years. It’s like all the Christmases come together every year on our tree.”
“Mmmm.” Landon held her close. “I feel Christmas most with you. Wherever you are.”
She looked deep into his eyes. “You think Amy’s okay?”
“She seemed like it.” He brushed the hair from her face. “Hey... has anyone ever told you? You have the most beautiful hair.”
“I seem to remember a certain handsome gentleman telling me that.” She felt her troubled heart lighten. “A few times, anyway.”
“Well... that certain gentleman has an idea.” Landon peered out the window. “Let’s take a walk out back to the creek. While the snow’s still falling.”
Ashley loved this about Landon, the way he could take any moment and make it unforgettable. He’d done that since the beginning, back when he had first tried to make her fall in love with him.
Back when her stubbornness had nearly cost her the love of her life. How many times had she rejected his attempts to pursue her? All because she had thought he was too safe. The two of them always seemed to have a desperate kind of love now. The result of knowing how close they’d come to losing it all.
“Mmmm.” She leaned up and kissed him. “A walk sounds perfect.”
When they were bundled up, they set out, hand in hand through the fresh fallen snow. The full moon cast an iridescent light over the blanket of white. “It’s as bright as day.” Landon looked up at the sky. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful snowfall.”
“It’s perfect.” Ashley stayed at his side as they made their way down to the creek. Their favorite bench was covered in nearly a foot of snow, but Landon used his coat sleeve to brush it off so they could sit. “I love the quiet after it snows.”
“Like God’s giving all of creation a chance to simply breathe.”
“And rest.”
Ashley leaned against him and together they were quiet for a long moment. “I miss Erin... on days like this.”
“Me, too.” Landon turned slightly so he could see her. “She and Sam used to love that old Christmas tree farm. The way the kids would run ahead and take dibs on the best ones.”
Deep below the surface of the snow there was the gentlest sound of the creek. Still running. Proof that life continued even in the dead of winter. “I keep saying I’m worried about Amy. That she’s the reason I don’t want to meet Kendra Bryant on Christmas Eve.”
Landon was quiet, his eyes locked on hers.
