Page 8 of Her Rogue to Kiss Good Morning
“Are you certain?”He tilted his head to the side as he studied her.“You seem a little flustered.”
He had no idea… She frowned as she met his gaze…or perhaps he did.He seemed keenly aware of her every move.Did he have some inkling of what she had been considering?Would he agree to her demands if she presented them to him?She couldn’t ask… She just couldn’t.
Clara drew a breath, steadying herself.She would not let him see.Not now, not ever.Not yet.For all the attraction and the peril of desire, she would hold herself firmly in check.She could enjoy the walk, entertain the conversation, perhaps even allow herself a fleeting moment of amusement—but she would not surrender.Not to him, and not to the temptation he so expertly wove around her.As the path led them deeper into the garden, the sunlight glancing through the trees, Clara could not help but wonder how long she would be able to resist the viscount’s undeniable allure.“You need not concern yourself, my lord.I am nothing of the sort.”She might even believe it if she told herself that enough times too…
“If you insist,” he said.
“I do,” she told him.
He studied her for several long moments.For a brief second, she thought he would push her for answers, but he didn’t.Instead, he turned toward the garden.“My cousin has outdone himself with these gardens.They’re far more lovely than I recall from my last visit.”
“How long have you been away?”she asked him.
“Far too long,” he admitted.“I shouldn’t stay here at Sinbrough much longer.I made a promise to my mother that I should see through.I’ve put it off long enough.”
“Why did you not see to it sooner?”she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
“There is no simple answer to that question,” he said quietly.“I left because I could not stomach being around my father as he destroyed himself.He’s…” The viscount took a deep breath.“My father is troubled.”He did not expand on it further, but he didn’t have to.Clara knew the answer to it.Everyone did.The Earl of Lyonsdale was a drunkard.She had not witnessed his behavior for herself, but she knew of it, nonetheless.Her mother had raved about how disgusting his behavior was on more than one occasion.As if her mother was any better.She might not imbibe too much but she was a horrible mother…
“And that meant you could not stay,” she said.“What will you do now?”
“I will have to return to run the estates.I cannot leave it to stewards any longer.”He sighed.“Perhaps I should try with my father again.He is all I have left, and I would not want him to drink himself to the grave.”
“No,” she said softly.“I don’t suppose you would.”
She did not want to feel for this man.It made him even more of a temptation for her.This was a different side of him.A side she did not wish to be privy to.
Clara felt her pulse quicken despite her efforts to remain composed.He spoke with a sincerity that cut through the playful barbs they usually traded, revealing a depth she had not expected.She glanced at him sideways, noting the faint tension around his jaw, the shadows under his eyes—evidence of a man burdened by responsibility far beyond what she had imagined when he was teasing her over tea.
“I do not envy you,” she said carefully, keeping her tone neutral.“The weight of family can be most disagreeable.”She smiled softly.“But sometimes family is the one place you can find solace as well.”She thought of her sister and how much she had come to rely upon her.
He let out a low chuckle, but it lacked its usual charm.“Indeed,” he said.“It is not a life one chooses lightly.”He paused, his gaze flicking to hers, sharp and assessing.“And yet, one must endure it.For the good, and for the wrongs one must right.”
Clara squeezed her hands together into a fist as she fought the urge to reach out and touch him.She wanted to step closer, to offer comfort, yet she resisted.She would not, could not, allow herself the vulnerability.Not again.Her late husband had shown her how easily trust could be betrayed, how swiftly a life could be unraveled by a man’s selfishness.She would not give him, even someone as disarmingly handsome as Lord Oakwood, that power over her heart.
“You have turned very solemn,” she said, forcing a lightness into her voice that she did not feel.“I was not aware that you were capable of such gravitas.”Truthfully, she had not known much about the viscount and the more she learned the more she liked him.It was a conundrum she did not wish to have.
He turned fully toward her, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, but it did not reach his eyes.“I was not aware you could be so infuriatingly perceptive.”His gaze lingered, and Clara felt a thrill that she quickly squashed.She straightened her spine, meeting his eyes evenly, unwilling to show the stirrings of desire that danced across her senses.
“Perhaps,” she said carefully, “we are both capable of surprising one another.”It was not a revelation she had wished to discover…
He inclined his head, the smile softening into something almost tender.“Perhaps we are,” he murmured.There was a pause, pregnant with unspoken words, and Clara knew that for all her discipline that her resolve would continue to be tested by him.
She turned her attention back to the garden path, planting one foot firmly in front of the other, keeping her emotions from spilling over.But even as she forced herself to walk forward, she felt his presence linger, a magnetic pull she could neither deny nor resist.The playful, teasing Lord Oakwood she had sparred with over tea had melted away, leaving a man who was compelling, vulnerable, and infinitely dangerous to her carefully constructed heart.
“Shall we return?”she asked at last, her voice steady, though her pulse betrayed her.She waited for him to reply as he stared out at the garden.He seemed lost in thought but then he seemed to shake whatever had held his attention away.
He turned to her and nodded as he matched her pace.“We shall.But I fear, Lady Cocwood, that the game we have always played is far from concluded.”
Clara’s lips pressed into a thin line, and she allowed herself a small, controlled smile.“I should hope not.Otherwise, it would be terribly dull.”That was part of his charm after all.He kept her on edge as she never knew what he might say or do next.It was what attracted her to him.She…well…she desired him.Her entire body tingled at the very idea of what it might be like to have his arms wrapped around her and his lips pressed to hers.She had to force her thoughts away from such an idea.Because it was far too delicious for her frayed senses to handle.
As they walked back toward the house sunlight broke through the clouds and scattered golden light across the gardens.Despite her determination to resist, Clara could not entirely stop the warmth that spread through her chest at the thought of their next encounter.The barbs and banter would return, no doubt, but so too would the quiet moments of truth and the glimpses of the man hidden beneath the viscount’s charm.And that was a danger she would need to navigate with utmost care.
If she allowed him any further into her life, she would give him everything of herself.She was already contemplating what that would entail and when she could present him with the offer she had considered earlier in their walk.She wanted to ask him for that one night of passion.Clara had never had a passionate encounter, and she had never had a wedding night either.Her husband had died before he could consummate their marriage.If she was never going to marry, then perhaps she should know what she was missing…
But if she explored that…would she find herself with even more regrets?All Clara knew with any certainty was that she had to make a decision, and fast.Before he left and the decision was made for her.
Six
