Page 9 of Vision of Love
Chapter Five
Acouple of days after the opera, Anya still could not shake Mr. Jones from her thoughts. She couldn’t bring herself to think of him by his first name. It seemed too intimate somehow while trying not to fall for a man she couldn’t have. When she found a way home, she would have to leave him behind, and she didn’t want her heart to remain in the past forever. That would be a terrible fate.
She wandered to the library to search for a novel to read. Edward Wegner didn’t allow her to do much. Even her choice of books was limited. If she found something that was outside of her allowed reading material, she’d have to find a way to sneak it to her room and hide it from Ida. So far, she had managed to readPride and Prejudicewithout the maid discovering it. Edward thought anything romantic frivolous. It was a good thing he didn’t have control of what books were shelved in the library. The ambassador had brought some of his personal books with him, and Ana took advantage of it. That was why she waited until most of the residents retired to their bedchambers for the night before searching the library in peace. That was what she did now.
Anya glanced down the hall and then quickly bolted to down the corridor. She stopped at the end and checked to make sure it was clear, and then quickly went to the library door, pulled it open, and slipped inside, shutting the door behind her as quick as possible. She leaned against it, placing her hand over her chest, taking a deep, relieved breath.
“What are you hiding from?” a man asked.
Anya jumped, startled by his voice. She banged her head against the door. “Ouch,” she muttered as she lifted her hand to her head. “Did you have to scare me?”
“My apologies,” Mr. Jones said contritely. “It was not my intention to frighten you.”
She was grateful it was Mr. Jones and not, well, anyone else. He seemed to want to truly protect her and wouldn’t purposely get her in trouble. Anya stood completely still to give her rapidly beating heart time to slow. She took a deep breath and studied him. This was the most relaxed she’d ever seen him. He sat on the leather sofa leaning against the arm of it. His black jacket had been laid across the arm, and his tie loosened around his neck.
“It’s all right,” she reassured him. “I was not expecting anyone to be in the library this late.”
“Why are you here at this hour?” he lifted a brow. He leaned forward slightly, then pressed his elbows on to his knees and placed his chin onto his folded hands as he waited for her to respond.
She swallowed hard. Something about the look in his eyes made her nervous. What did he expect her to say? More importantly, what did he think he knew about her? Surely, he couldn’t have realized she wasn’t really Ana. She’d played the part as best she could, but she could have made a mistake. This wasn’t the first time Ana had been to Berlin. She’d only been allowed to go to London to visit the Duke and Duchess because Edward Wegner believed it a good idea to cultivate the relationship. She had learned that on the trip back to Berlin. It was one of the things Ida had not stopped talking about.
She met Mr. Jones’s gaze. “I was having trouble sleeping and decided to find something to read.”
“You hoped to find a good book to make you sleepy?” He lifted his head and relaxed back into the couch. He gestured to the numerous shelves. “Don’t let me stop you from searching.”
Now that she knew he was in the library, she loathed the idea of leaving quickly. She wanted a reason to stay, but wasn’t certain what would be believable. Perhaps she should start browsing and hope something would come to her as she looked over the books. “Don’t mind if I do,” she told him and marched across the room. The first shelf she came across had several books of poetry. Should she snag a book of Keats? She had read a couple of his poems in the past. It was why she’d recognized the one line of “To Fanny” that he’d spoken to her at the opera. She didn’t recall the whole poem though. It might be good to read it over. Though she didn’t really wish to do so in his company. That would have to wait for another time. She moved away from the poetry and onto the next shelf.
Anya ran her fingers over the spines and stopped at the section of Charles Dickens novels. She had read a few, but she had been hoping to readGreat Expectations. Perhaps she should start with that. Instead, an idea came to her. She turned toward Mr. Jones who hadn’t moved from the couch. Had he been watching her the entire time? “Do you have a favorite novel?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have time for frivolous entertainment.”
“But you quoted Keats to me,” she reminded him. “How is that not frivolous and reading a novel is?”
He chuckled lightly. “That is the remnants of a foolish boy who saw the romantic side of the world. I’m no longer that sentimental or naïve. I haven’t been for a very long time.” Mr. Jones came to his feet and walked toward her. He lifted his hand and brushed a stray lock behind her ear. She shivered at his touch. “Sometimes I wish I was, but there is no returning to what we once were.”
She tilted her head to the side. “I hope you’re wrong.”
“I’m not,” he said firmly. There was a harshness in that tone that was immovable. Nothing she said would convince him he was wrong.
She moved out of his reach and turned back to the shelf and snagged the copy ofGreat Expectations. Anya didn’t want to be in the library any longer. It hurt too much to feel something for him and know she couldn’t do anything about it. This wasn’t her life to mess with. She had to believe at some point she’d return to where she belonged, and it would be horrible for Ana to return it and find herself in an untenable situation. She turned back to him. “You do not know what you’re missing. Sometimes it is nice to escape from reality for a little while. Especially when life is particularly terrible.”
“Is your life that unpleasant then?” He’d stepped closer to her, and if he moved one step more, there would be no more space between them.
“What if it was? Would you save me?” She couldn’t tell him there was nothing he could do to help her. How could he? Anya didn’t even know how to save herself. She doubted anyone would.
“I could try,” he said softly. “This place, the danger it presents, you don’t belong here.” She started at his statement. He was right. She didn’t belong in this time, but she couldn’t tell him that. Regardless, he wasn’t speaking of time travel, but of Germany and the war on the horizon.
“Perhaps,” she agreed. “But my fate is sealed.” The more she thought about it, the more she believed she was stuck in 1933. She didn’t know why, but she had come to this time for a reason. “There is nothing you can save me from.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as if fighting for control. “Are you certain? Let me prove you wrong.”
“How?” her voice was barely above a whisper. She slid her tongue across her lips quickly.
“Let me give you that tour of Berlin. I’d like to show you something.” She didn’t know what she’d expected, but an invitation to tour Germany hadn’t been even close.
What would it hurt? She nodded. “All right. Tomorrow we will go. Providing my…father.” She nearly stumbled over calling Edward Wegner that. “Approves of the outing.”
“I’ll see that he does.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a quick kiss, then turned on his heels and left. Anya lifted her fingers to her lips. They still tingled from his kiss. She hadn’t realized until he’d done it, but she’d been hoping he’d kiss her. Now she couldn’t wait for their day together… What was he going to show her? How would it prove anything?
