Page 82 of Big Nick Energy
She exhales deeply but with a grin on her face, her eyes closing briefly, before walking away, that book clutched to her chest. I follow her figure to the door and then scramble around to find my phone. I have to tell him. He started this, he looked for her and she came. He did a good thing and made that woman’s heart glow again with joy and remembrance of a great love. But that’s Nick. She spoke of a man with a big and kind heart and that is him, as if the universe has connected himthrough that same energy. That wondrous Nick energy that’s taken over my life. I laugh to myself, almost in realisation about what this all means, something in me almost fizzing with excitement. I hold my phone in my hands. I have to call him.
‘Well, I didn’t think it would look like this,’ someone suddenly says from the crowd. Nick. Just not that Nick. The other Nick. Old Nick?You’re here?He appears from around the choir, dressed in that same camel coat from that day we met in Harrods, smart jeans and boots, but with a Santa hat to his head. I pause because it’s him. I wasn’t thinking about him. I put my phone in my pocket. I force a smile, a surprised laugh, and point at him. ‘You.’
‘Me?’ he says. ‘You mentioned this yesterday and I got off work early. I thought I would come down and support you, say hello.’ I look down and he has a paper bag full of cookies that he places on the counter. Nice cookies that look as though they’ve been handcrafted and baked by artisan elves. I suddenly feel guilty that I didn’t think him capable of such spontaneity. ‘I didn’t think it would look like this, your library. I thought it might be like some 1970s bunker. This is actually quite charming.’ He looks through to the children’s area, to large windows with seats where one child has curled themselves up reading a book, the choir milling around regaling each other with tales of seasonal mirth. He looks to the bookshelves stacked high, small pockets of space where people sit to read, to find safety and escape within our four walls. ‘The trees are a lovely touch.’
I nod, my face stiffening with emotion. They are, aren’t they? ‘Tea?’ I ask him.
‘Why not?’
He takes off his scarf and heads over to my side of the counter, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I don’t even have to seewhat Helen and Olga are doing, I think they all have an inkling as to the identity of this mystery man.
‘NICK!’ Helen says animatedly.
He turns to look at her and then back to me. ‘I see word has got round. Nice to meet you, Helen and Olga.’
He has been listening. Olga looks at him with a more serious brow and I know exactly what she’s doing, she’s weighing up the choice she would have made. ‘You are… Nick?’
‘This is true,’ he replies.
‘You are handsome. You have hair.’
‘Did she describe me as being without hair?’ he chuckles.
‘No. I see what she sees now. This is… appealing,’ Olga says, and Helen scrunches her face up. Never mind the language barrier, it’s the cultural one we need to look at, the one which says exactly what’s on her mind in any language.
‘I’m glad you think so,’ he replies, grinning. Helen drags Olga away before she can say anything more and he starts to take off his coat, still looking around, bemused.
‘I thought you still had gifts to buy?’ I say.
‘I do but maybe we can do that together, later? Grab an early dinner? Tomorrow is going to be pretty intense with all my family so I wanted to do something that was just us.’
‘Just us?’ I say, surprised to hear him crave something so small, intimate.
‘Yeah. Also…’ He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. ‘It turns out that work do have funds for smaller fundraising projects and they said the library could have this. It’s just a thousand quid but I thought it could buy you something for this place. I know your book-drive thing is over now.’
He puts the envelope in my hands and I look at it quietly. We could achieve so much with that small amount of money, not only for book drives, but towards fixing the roof, Helen could start laminating her signs, I could get a little sofa for the adults’reading area. I reach over to him and give him a hug. He is a good person. I knew there was something that brought us back together, I knew I wasn’t imagining this man I fell for so many years ago. He hugs me back as I place a kiss on his cheek.
‘Excuse me, can I ask if Santa’s coming today?’ a lady suddenly asks at the desk. I freeze and turn immediately.
‘Umm, no. Lucy will be here at three for the final story time though.’
I see immediate disappointment in her face. ‘Oh. I drove all the way from Raynes Park for him.’
‘Raynes Park?’ Nick says. ‘Why?’
‘A friend posted a picture of him on Facebook. She found out he’s not married.’
‘I’m sorry to disappoint.’ I bite my lip because that is a low-cut top and a fair amount of mascara for a library story time.
‘Is the tea free?’ she asks.
‘Yes and…’ But she wanders off before I have the time to say she can have a biscuit too.
Nick looks at me, laughing as she does so. ‘Either you’ve got a fit Santa in or she’s looking for a sugar daddy this Christmas,’ he says to me.
What do I say? Do I tell him about the other Nick? Do I complicate this? But I see him leaning against the counter, starting to integrate into my life; he brought a cheque, he’s here, now, after all this time. I need to give this time to breathe, to grow.
‘I guess you don’t know what people are into these days, eh?’
