Page 73 of Big Nick Energy
‘Why?’
‘Last time you bought me clothes, it was the wrong size and we fought and?—’
‘It was that dress,’ he reminds her.
‘It was red and far too large. I was a white bonnet away from looking like a handmaid.’ He laughs so hard, he has to cough and control himself.
‘Can I come with you to buy the coat at least? Then we can wrap it up and you can look surprised in front of the kids?’ he asks.
‘But then that will give the kids the impression that you have good taste.’
I smile at the banter, the sort of conversation and humour you pray exists in a relationship. An announcement echoes overthe tannoy that the next train will be late and there’s a collective sigh as those waiting stand there, looking to the sky exasperated, muttering profanities under their breath.
‘Fancy a book while we wait?’ the man suddenly says. I watch as the couple edge towards the bookshelf next to me and I step aside to see what they’ll choose. ‘Oh, there are ones wrapped up.’ I get out my phone, pretending to scroll as the man reaches for one and hands it to his wife.
‘So generous. I’m still getting the new coat, yes?’
‘I guess.’ She unwraps it and turns the cover to her husband. ‘How did you know that I wanted a book of love poetry for Christmas? You soppy bastard.’
I look down and smile. I know that book. I know who wrapped that book and remember the moment in the low lights of the library when he read from that book to me. The man takes a strand of the woman’s hair and tucks it behind her ear. ‘You know me, all about the rhyming couplets and shit.’
She opens to a poem in the middle of the book, scanning the words. ‘Ooh, I like this one. Husband…
Kindly return her tender gaze,
Press closely that little hand,
Whisper fond words and soothing praise –
They are ever at thy command;
It is all the harvest she asks to reap
In return for love as the ocean deep.’
And there’s a moment between the two of them, a look. He takes her hand and she rests her head on his shoulder, him sweetly kissing the top of it. ‘Is there any advice for you in there?Maketh him cups of tea neverending, don’t nag him to mow the grass, allow him the joys of golden ales, let him take you nightly up the?—’
‘NICK!’ she squeals, before they both collapse into fits of giggles.
And I turn away so they can’t see that I’m laughing too. At them, at the fact my book prompted that moment, but also because of her husband’s name. Nick. I look up to the sky and the stars.I have no idea what you’re trying to tell me or who I should end up with but you’re not very funny, seriously.My phone pings and I retrieve it from my pocket.
Are you free? I need to see you about something? Nick
My heart beats out of my chest to see the message. But then I see the emoji that follows. Is that a squirrel? No, it’s a beaver.
I’m sorry about the beaver. There was no capybara emoji.
THIRTY-ONE
I wait inside the library, the doors locked to the outside world, looking for signs of life outside. An hour ago, Santa Nick told me to meet him here. I don’t know how he feels about me, about us, if you can even call it that, but there was an emoji and emojis are all about playfulness and fun, so I’m going to take it as a sign that he doesn’t completely hate me. I’m sitting behind the desk waiting when his figure appears at the door and I feel my pulse quicken to see him. He’s not dressed as Santa which throws me a little but he’s wearing the same coat he was wearing when we went for hog roast that time. I shouldn’t be remembering little details like that. He waves at me through the door and I shuffle towards it to let him in.
‘Hi,’ I say, pushing the door into him, almost taking him out. My tone is also not natural. It’s high and filled with too much fake jollity, trying to cover up the fact that we shared the sweetest moonlit kiss earlier in the week and then the most awkward moment pretty much straight after. He steps back and stares at me curiously, the same look he used to give me when we first met and he was trying to work out if I was a complete idiot.
‘Evening. I’m sorry. I know it’s late-ish but I just… I should have just called and done this on the phone.’
Oh no. Does he want a moment to find closure? A conversation. I guess that is owed. Maybe this is a chance to sit down and not skirt the issue anymore.You’re handsome, I’m confused. Thank you for helping me give out all these books. I’m sorry for kissing you when I shouldn’t have. Please don’t hate me.This could be done in ten minutes and then I could go get noodles.
He comes in and inhales deeply. ‘You can smell the trees when you come in now,’ he says, admiring the tree in the foyer. ‘The pine.’
