Page 65 of Big Nick Energy
‘Because I’m an elf. It’s required by Christmas law.’ She starts moving her arms around and a nearby family look on curiously. That’s what being around all this pine will do to you.
‘I’m actually here to pick up Nick,’ I say.
She stops jigging to look at me intently. ‘TO GO ON A DATE?’
The volume is a lot. I think they may have heard that in Lapland; it may have forever changed the course of the northern lights. ‘No. He’s been helping me do the book drive. We’ve been going from place to place delivering books. We’re at a village Christmas fair tonight.’
‘That’s cosy.’
‘It really isn’t. It’s mostly people lusting over him dressed as Santa.’
‘Oh, we get that here too. He gets a lot of numbers…’
‘He does?’ I say that too quickly, almost panicked.
Lucy smirks at my reaction. ‘So, I’ll take it you’re completely immune to his charms then?’
I realise that I can’t say anything, mainly because it’s Lucy and she’s the most indiscreet person on the planet. ‘He is a handsome man, for sure. But it’s because I’m half-dating the other Nick. It would be morally ambiguous for me to show an interest.’
‘Morally ambiguous are my middle names,’ Lucy explains, smiling. ‘What the hell does half-dating mean?’
‘It means we are enjoying each other’s company and not putting labels on anything.’
Lucy pulls a face. ‘Did he decide that then?’ I try and roll my memory back to that moment. I think it was mutually agreed. Bar the fact I have been reacquainted with his parents and will be spending Christmas Eve with them. ‘I find men use those sorts of vague labels when they want to dip their wickselsewhere. It means they can carry no responsibility or guilt later on.’
‘It was mutually agreed but yeah, it’s… complicated. I think we might be reigniting something there.’
‘Tucking into seconds at the buffet?’ she says, scowling.
‘In so many words.’
‘Well, I just hope that buffet is fresh as fuck, and that that boy knows your worth and how bloody spectacular you are,’ she says. I lean over and give her a hug for the compliment. That’s the thing about Lucy, the love she has for so many people always shines through. She looks me in the face, trying to read my expression.
‘You look slightly worried though. Is it because you used to bump uglies so you don’t know if it’s a rehash or a rebrand?’ Lucy says, pretty much summing up my feelings on the whole situation. I hate that she can read that just from my eyebrows and the wrinkles on my forehead.
‘Perhaps.’
‘And then there’s also New Nick in the picture, dressed in red with the chiselled looks and the nonchalance, and he makes you a little twitchy in your lady bits so you don’t know what’s going on…’ she says. Again, a little too astutely.
‘Twitchy in my lady bits?’ I say, giggling.
‘Don’t deny these things. Is he definitely not an option then?’ she asks.
‘I just think I can only really do one man at a time. Any more feels… tiring…’
Lucy winks. ‘Then you’ve obviously not had enough fun in your life, young lady.’ That could be interesting. Maybe we should be a throuple and it would remove any confusion, any need to choose. It would also be super handy to be able to say the name Nick aloud and it could refer to either of them. But I don’tthink I have the bottle or the nerve. ‘You are spending a lot of time together.’
‘I know.’
‘Just saying.’
‘Stop it.’
‘I mean, you could do both. You know, like in those gelato places when they let you try flavours before you decide. Maybe take it to a testing phase?’ she suggests.
‘But when you don’t choose the mint choc chip, its feelings don’t get hurt,’ I remind her.
‘Who is the mint choc chip in this situation then?’ she jokes.
