Page 64 of Big Nick Energy
‘A few problems in my wrist,’ he says, holding his right hand up. ‘I think it’s a repetitive strain thing.’ Oh dear. Did you just make that hand gesture, Lester? Do I make a joke about this?Because you wank too much or because you spend your lifein fits of road rage calling other people wankers?Don’t say a word, Kay, just smile and nod. ‘Bell-ringing.’
I down a bit of cider to mask the fact I want to burst into hysterics. ‘You ring what now?’
‘Marjorie and I are in a bell-ringing group.’
‘Like Quasimodo? Sorry, he was the first bell-ringer that came to mind.’
I’m lucky he laughs. ‘Oh no, they’re much smaller bells.’ He makes that hand gesture again. A family walks past and the dad gives him a strange look. That’s one way to get kicked out of a Christmas lights event. ‘I can play “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”. Our group has a Facebook page if you want to see it. We’re called “The Bells and Whistles”.’
I marvel at how proud he is of that. ‘That is quite the name. I will be sure to look it up.’
He looks at me as I sip at my cup again. ‘I really can’t believe it’s you. After all this time. You’ll think I’m daft but I always thought you were good for Nick. You were normal. Brought him down to earth a bit.’
I smile as he says it. ‘Are you implying he’s been dating a range of horrors since me then?’
‘Oh, there have been a few proper Quasimodos,’ he says, pulling a face. I’m glad the conversation has settled a bit, that we seem to have found a groove.
I can’t help but dig though. ‘I met Neve last week. She seemed?—’
‘Where?’ His face is aghast at what I’ve just said, his interruption sudden, as if she’s about to jump out of the darkness at us from a tree. Why has the colour suddenly drained from his face?
‘The ballet. Nick and I went last week.’
‘Oh.’ I’m going to need more than that, Lester. Why is that significant? Why does he look disappointed? He’s quiet for amoment trying to gather his thoughts, like he can’t say too much. Why, Lester? Who is she? ‘If I can be so bold, you’re much better than her,’ he says, his tone steely and resolute. ‘In many ways, awful girl.’ I didn’t realise it was a competition but I’m both reassured and wildly curious. There’s a story there and one I’m not sure whether to dig for because hey, Nick and I aren’t serious. I mean, I’m strolling through a cascade of arches covered in shimmering lights talking to his dad about my bushy hair and his bells but hey, we’re just having fun.
‘Are you OK, Lester?’ I ask, as his stance and gait feel a touch angrier than before.
He turns to look at me. ‘How much do you know about Neve?’
‘That she went out with Nick for a bit. That?—’
‘Lester, darling! Did you see the lake?’ An arm loops into Lester’s as Marjorie pulls him away. Lester, all I know is that she came across as an icy bitch and that I’ve possibly used one of her scrunchies. Is there something else I should know? He looks at me and curls his lips in before looking over to the lake. The lake is glowing. It’s cute if a little cosmic. We all take it in as Nick returns to my side and finds my hand.
‘Actually, Marjorie, Nick… I have an idea. Our Christmas Eve party at the house, Kay should be there.’
‘I should?’ I say, surprised by the invitation especially when I’ve just re-entered their lives. ‘I mean, I wouldn’t want to impose if it’s a family thing.’
I look up at Nick and his whole nonchalant act again. ‘Yeah, you should come along.’
Again, he seems to have missed the mark here. This is spending time with his family at Christmas. We have again overstepped the boundaries of casual and fun. I’ll have to go out and buy gifts. His sister is a coeliac. However, as I try to gauge whether this is a forced invitation, I observe theinteraction between Marjorie and Lester closely. She raises her thin spindly eyebrows at him, he nods lightly. It’s that sort of non-conversational shorthand you have with someone you’ve been married to for a long time. What is going on here? Lester looks over at Nick, trying to catch his eye.
‘Then it’s done,’ Lester says. ‘Would you look at those fountains? How festive. I wonder how they get them to squirt to the music.’
And I stand there as they all gaze at a lake glowing in icy blues, whites and silvers, completely entranced. No one found that funny? Not even you, Nick? In fact, he almost looks sad. What has just happened here? But Lester is right, how are they squirting and keeping in time with the music? How is no one laughing at the word ‘squirt?’ That’s amazing.
TWENTY-EIGHT
‘Oi, oi! Christmas bitch incoming!’ Lucy heads towards me in the car park of the North Christmas Farm, sashaying but also seemingly able to wave at toddlers driving away and look wholesome and festive at the same time. ‘Have you heard my wanky shoes? They’ve got bells!’
I smile but think back to Old Nick’s dad and his bell-ringing and the very odd evening I had two nights ago. I still don’t know what to make of it but one moment I was biting into a hot sausage and the next I’m spending Christmas Eve with Nick’s family. It all moved incredibly fast and I spent most of the time hypnotised by flashing lights but also completely dumbfounded by my lack of ability to read the situation. Do you like me, Marjorie and Lester? Was that a courtesy invite? Lester wasn’t very keen on that Neve. From my interactions with her, I get that completely but there’s more there. I can feel it.
Lucy is doing a jig and trying to play me a song via her shoes. Yeah, I won’t get that without a tune and a starter note.
‘You’re jingly.’
‘Always,’ she says, coming over to hug me. ‘Pray, do tell why you’re here? Is it to see Nick?’ she enquires, doing a little jig on the spot.
‘Why are you still jigging?’
