Page 13 of Big Nick Energy
I look around the stall, trying to find something really bloody expensive which I could then re-sell to buy myself a new bicycle.
‘Let him get you something,’ Clementine’s colleague says, still trying to save the situation.
‘Maybe some nuts?’ he jokes.
‘We don’t sell nuts,’ Clementine says, looking confused.
But the line does make me smile. It’s a nice thing, to know how much an ex remembers, how much they think about you. I did move on from Nick. I graduated, travelled, I had relationships with other people and grew, all on my own. But I sometimes wondered about him, about us. Don’t we all? On a cold night, unable to sleep, I’d sometimes scroll through my hall of fame, stalking people, seeing where they ended up. He was part of that roll call of people. To be honest, he was my first big love. So seeing him so suddenly is a jolt to the senses, thinking about halcyon moments lying with him in sunny fields, wrapped around each other, draped off each other in clubs, in bed, havingsex. Eight years ago, Kay. That was a very long time ago. That was back when I had a fringe. I’m glad I grew that out.
‘I’m good. Thank you again though,’ I say to him, a little tickled that I hold power here. He can’t seem to be able to look away from me.
Clementine’s colleague looks up at me. ‘Seriously?’ She looks between the two of us. ‘Where did you two meet?’
‘We went to university in Bath,’ I say.
‘And almost ten years later, you’re both here in front of Clemmie’s stall, meeting over a teapot? That’s got to mean something, right?’ she continues. ‘It’s Christmas, lovely. Maybe it’s worth a second pop,’ she says, looking Nick up and down. ‘Iwould…’
Nick looks down at that moment, trying to hide his embarrassment. Well, he does wear that suit well. He side-eyes me. I have no idea what this is. He could be married by now, with kids. I could very well be in the same situation. This is a chance meeting between two people who once knew each other. Intimately.
‘You have to admit, it could be fate,’ Nick says with a grin. ‘It is quite the thing to bump into you again.’
I look down, trying to keep my smile to myself. I have no idea what to say. I watch as he hands over a bunch of notes to Clementine, much more than what the teapot and all his haul is worth.
She looks down at the money and over at me. ‘What do you think?’ she asks me.
She appears to be still debating the morality and emotion of the situation. I nod. I’ll take free Spode if it’s on the table. I’m not stupid. And if it leaves you quids in, Clementine, then you take this man’s money. She and her colleague start to wrap everything up in sheets of newspaper.
‘Thank you,’ I say, finally catching Nick’s eye.
‘Will you tell your nana I bought it?’
‘No,’ I say.
He laughs in return and there’s a strange feeling of electricity in remembering that sound. ‘I really can’t believe it’s you,’ he says again, a strange look of wonder in his eyes. I can’t believe it either. ‘Do you live in London?’
‘West London, Shepherd’s Bush.’ I’m not sure why I divulge that information so quickly. ‘You? I thought you lived in New York.’
His eyebrows shoot up. Damn. That does mean I have looked him up since. ‘I did but I live in Fulham now. I work for the Wiseman Brothers in town.’
‘That explains the fancy suit.’
He keeps grinning because that infers I’ve been looking at said suit.
‘Fulham’s not far from Shepherd’s Bush.’
I nod, wondering where this conversation is leading. I could walk away here. We’ve ascertained that I still look good, we live near each other and we dated a long time ago. Is it worth flirting with history? But then, like a flash of lightning, I think about the moment he dumped me. It wasn’t me, it was him. We needed space. Maybe we could be friends? And a bitter feeling like bile rises up in me.
‘Well, maybe we can?—’
‘No,’ I reply, shaking my head, laughing. I wait as Clementine hands me my teapot and winks at me. She gets it. ‘Thank you so much. Your stall is amazing. Have a lovely Christmas.’ Nick looks a bit confused, collects his own assorted plates and cups and follows me briskly.
‘Umm, what do you mean, no? You didn’t know what I was going to ask,’ he says jokingly as I try and traverse this maze of a building.
‘Oh, I do,’ I say, still walking as quickly as I can amongst the crowds. ‘Look at all this fate in action. Maybe we can meet up for a drink, reminisce, catch up…’ I jest.
‘I don’t see what would be so bad about that.’
I stop for a moment by a stone pillar as Nick looks at me, a brooding look to his face, trying to lure me in. I don’t deny there’s a flutter there, as light as a butterfly’s wing, a curiosity. But then flashbacks of our break-up come into view. It’s why I’m toying with him a little.
