Page 67 of The Duke's Indecent Match
Stepping away from the table, he offered her his arm, though he found he could not look her in the eye, pinning his gaze on her shoulder instead.
“Madam.”
“Thank you.”The soft rejoinder was almost too quiet to hear.
He was very aware of how alone they were as he escorted her out of the dining room.The soft clinking of china and silver behind him, attesting to Miss Milford’s immediate attendance to her duties, followed them through the door, then was cut off after the door closed, leaving them in awkward silence in the hall.Though Nathanial wracked his brain, he could not think of what he might say to her.
So, they walked on, beside each other but not truly together.The gulf between them aggravated him as much as he felt he required it.He was far too aware of the swishing of her skirts next to his leg, the warmth of her fingers on his arm, even through his jacket and shirt sleeves.Nathanial clenched his jaw and loosened it again as he led her back to their rooms.
His was directly beside hers.
The first time he’d entered the marchioness’ rooms since his mother’s death had been at the beginning of this Season, when he’d wanted to ensure it was ready for a bride.He’d been back several times since, though the rooms remained empty.
But now she was there.
His wife.
On their wedding night.
Even as his arousal stirred, part of him rebelled against the idea.Railed against being put in a position where he had to bed a woman he’d specificallynotchosen as his wife, no matter that he’d desired her.
Each step toward her door felt heavier.The air around them felt like it was stifling him.The silence was far too loud in his ears.His sisters had rooms farther down the hall in the wing, yet he could not hear them.
By the time they reached his wife’s door, he could barely draw breath.
Her hand trembled against his arm as he opened the door for her.It swung open to the brightly lit room.Obviously, her maid had been in to light the way in anticipation of her arrival.
From his position at the door, Nathanial could see the large canopy bed, draped with the faded red fabric that had adorned it since his mother’s day.The distance between the door and the bed yawned wide, and he leaned back away from it, metaphorically digging his heels in.
His wife looked up at him, her lips slightly parted, long lashes sweeping against her cheek.
“Are… are you coming in?”She sounded hesitant.Unsure.
But not unwelcoming.
Nathanial felt his mouth go dry.
The conflicting urges within him—to haul her into the room or to run down the hall to his own refuge—battled inside him.It felt as though he was being torn apart by the indecision.
Her head tilted back, like she was hoping for a kiss.
“I have a headache,” Nathanial blurted out.
Turning, he fled the field, already cursing himself under his breath, but he did not look back to see how she received his excuse.He strode—quickly, but he was not running—as fast as he could to his own room and did not take a full breath until he was inside with the thick wooden door between him and his wife.
Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the hard surface, letting his head thud onto it.There was another door, of course, the one between their rooms, but he was not going anywhere near that.
Not right now.
Not until he could wrestle his unruly emotions into some semblance of concord.
25
Kalina
It was her wedding night, and she was still a virgin.A virgin who could not fall asleep.
Kalina turned over, trying to get more comfortable in the bed.The mattress was comfortable enough, despite its age.The sheets were soft, worn from use.Butshecould not get comfortable.
