Page 30 of Isn't It Obvious?
“Well, it wouldn’t kill you,” Yael says.
JQ joins then. “Ms. Koenig said that what matters most is how it makes you feel.”
“That’s true,” Yael says, nodding at Leo, Ana, and Grace as they approach the circle of chairs. “How did it make you feel?”
Ravi points at himself, eyebrows lifting.
“Yes, you,” she says. “Unless you didn’t read it?”
“I just talked about the flamingo motif!” he protests.
“The fighting-slash-kissing poem is page sixty-two,” she says. “Who knows if you read further.”
When she gets a flash of that crooked incisor again and that dimple to match, Yael sees her mistake. She knew the exact page without checking—she’s told him it was her favorite part, too.
GOOD QUESTION, HEthinks. At roughly the same volume in his mind:So you loved it, too.
Of course, he says neither. In his pause to think, he can feel gazes flicker between him and Yael, and dimly, he wonders if all their exchanges are watched with such avid interest. Or maybe there really is that much curiosity about his feelings.
“It made me feel empty,” he says finally.
Yael frowns. “You felt nothing,” she says. The words come out flat. A disbelieving sentence, not a question.
“No,” Ravi says. “Michael feels empty, and I feel empty with him.”
Her lips purse just slightly, her mouth an almost O. “I think he feels too full for the world around him,” she says.
“Maybe sometimes,” he says.
She hums, regarding him with an unfamiliar expression. Bemusement, maybe. Except it’s less like she’s puzzledbyhim and more like she’s puzzling him out.
“It made me feel amazing,” Zoe says. “And sad.”
“You think every book is amazing,” JQ says.
Yael’s line of sight cuts toward JQ, sharp and silent, and they apologize.
During book club, Yael hardly looks at Ravi. Which is normal—she only ever spares him a glance when he’s talking or one of the students has asked a question. But now, when she does, it’s with that same expression on her face.
They stay on topic for a while, do the read-aloud of the first page of their next reading chunk, and then, as usual, things somewhat devolve. They talk about fan fiction for shows he hasn’t even heard of, about what happened at Homecoming last week, who kissed whom and where and when (Yael plugs her ears andla-la-las for this).
At those first couple of meetings, he’d wondered why Yael didn’t make a stronger effort to get the students backon track. He’s seen her in action; he knows she could if she wanted to. Now, Ravi understands that this is as much part of it as the reading is.
Today Leo approaches Ravi as he’s putting chairs away. Yael must have decided this was a solo task, he guesses, because she’s back to stocking shelves like she was when he walked in earlier.
“Have you read the next section yet?” Leo asks.
Ravi shakes his head. “Nah, I try to stick to the rules,” he says. “Have you?”
Leo nods vigorously, his hair bouncing against his forehead. “Yeah, I read the whole thing. I’m going to read it again, though. So I remember.”
“Did you like it?” Ravi asks.
Color tinges the high points of Leo’s cheeks. “Can you tell me what you think about it when you read it?” His voice is quiet.
“Of course,” Ravi says.
“Okay, see you Tuesday,” Leo says, and he turns away.
