Page 129 of Pick-Up
“I can’t sell you tickets.”
“Um. Okay. Why not?” Was I meant to purchase tickets in advance? Did I miss yet another reminder?
“Because. Your kids’ medical records are not up-to-date.”
This is unexpected to say the least.
My heart starts pounding. Zero to sixty. The school administrator is giving me that look again. Patient but impatient. Like I’m here to complicate her day.
“Of course they are,” I say. “We filled out the forms at the beginning of the year. They’re still good. That was only two months ago.”
Right? I’m sure that’s right.
Kaitlin shakes her head. “Their vaccination records are not in the file.”
“Mommy,” says Nettie, looking up at me. “Are we not allowed in? Do we have to go home? Or get a shot?” She looks worried. The leaf floats off Bart’s head and lands at our feet. Neither she nor Bart notices.
“Don’t worry, Nettie,” I say. “It will be just fine.”
“Come over here to wait,” says Celeste. She walks up and shares a meaningful look with me, then urges my kids off to the side, a hand on each of their backs.
“My kids are fully vaccinated,” I say to Kaitlin. “For all the things.”
“Are they though?” She crosses her arms, leans back in the folding chair like a Mafia king. “Unfortunately, unvaccinated children are not permitted at school functions. But perhaps you can clear this up before school on Monday. Or move to Florida.” She shrugs like she’s so sorry-not-sorry and then says, “Next!”
“No!” I yelp, as some dad steps up and then jumps back. I have had enough. Not just of this, but of the uphill battle that is existence. I know I should try to keep the peace with Ethan’s ex for future’s sake, but this is pushing it.
“First of all, they are vaccinated,” I say. “Second of all, the school has the files. Third of all, how would you even know what’s missing? Why are you rifling through my kids’ files?”
Kaitlin purses her thin lips. “As class mom and PTA president, it is my responsibility to know all things and protect the student body.”
“Excuse me, but as class mom and PTA president, it’s your responsibility to organize bake sales, not invade my privacy!”
Kaitlin shrugs, unmoved. “I have earned special access. Something you wouldn’t know about because you’re so uninvolved with the school community.”
I get it. I do. To an extent. Lisa—Mom Who Never Stops Talking—is standing nearby gaping and biting her nails. Even she won’t speak up. I’m not surprised to get pushback from Kaitlin, though this is more psychotic than anticipated. But she knows. Ethan obviously told her. And she’s mad. Why didn’t he warn me?
“Look,” I say. “Kaitlin. Is this about Ethan?”
If possible, her glare sparks with even more hatred. If her eyes were lasers, she would end me. “About Ethan how?”
And now I am trapped. Does she know or not? She is emanating a rage that suggests she does. Also, she is refusing my children entry to their own school. So, I’m going to bet on yes.
“About me… and Ethan. Being together.” Sort of.
I swear, in that moment, the wind picks up. An oaktag sign blows off the popcorn stand and across the blacktop. Kids duck to avoid getting hit. The streamers and ornaments grumble and clash.
Kaitlin tilts her chin up at me and hisses, “I fucking knew it.”
Ah. Okay, then. She didn’t know. And now I have confirmed her suspicions.
I wish I could burrow into the ground. But there is no hole to be found.
Ethan said this wouldn’t matter much. Kaitlin didn’t want him anyway. The divorce was mutual. But, in this moment, she does not strike me as thrilled.
“But to be clear,” she continues. “No. This isn’t because you’re banging my leftovers… again. This is because of your lackluster parenting. Let’s just say I checked the file because I had a sense you’d let certain details fall through the cracks and you’d feel entitled to a free pass. As usual, you aren’t on top of things!”
And I am about to open my mouth, to protest this assault on my character, when suddenly those words echo through me.On top of things. Again. And, in that moment, so much clicks for me.
