Page 46 of Research with Rivals
She nodded. Then, as if to distract her from my admission, she glanced down at my notebook again. “What about the test on the mulberries?”
I rubbed my forehead. “This one was also on me. I couldn’t stop the reaction. Father’s accident occurred when he was working with mulberries. He said he’d intended to see growth opportunities. I believed his theory was that the magic could guide us—we didn’t have to come up with all the answers. I’m not sure if he had an alternate intent he was unaware of, or if the fact that there were few opportunities for growth meant there was little to see. But either way, when the magic took hold, his vision was severely impaired.”
There was a large crease in her forehead, like she didn’t quite understand.
“I was just worried. Scared. Anxious. I’m sure they were all fighting for top billing in my brain at the time.”
“About me?” she asked with some wonder, as if she couldn’t quite believe that was the case.
I tilted my head, now trying to comprehend her side of the question. “Of course.”
The apples of her cheeks turned red, and I felt another layer of understanding peel away.
“Of course I was worried about you, Evelyn. That’s always been my problem. I know you’re capable. I know it doesn’t come off to you this way, but I know you’re careful, too. My father was both of those things. Accidents still happen.”
She held my gaze, and something tugged between us at the understanding. I couldn’t say if it had anything to do with the magic or not. My wolf paced in my head. All my senses were thrown off when it came to Evelyn Knowles.
“What about this one?” She pointed at another item on the list. “It was like you didn’t want me hired.”
A laugh slipped from my lips at that statement, and Evelyn, being Evelyn, narrowed in on it.
“You did want me hired?” she asked.
When I didn’t reply, frozen, contemplating what to share, she pressed, “Why did the head librarian come to the Records Office, Ambrose?”
I let my head hang as my fingers wrapped around my glass. “Because I told him there was someone he should meet there for an open position.”
Her mouth hung open, and I realized then how badly we’d needed this—blood magic or not.
“We only talked for a few minutes,” she whispered.
“And I wished it had been a few hours. Gabriel hadn’t read your papers. I shared one with him because I knew you were exactly what he was looking for. And then you were there, in the library, doing your tests. You were so … sharp with your words and your mind. And Gabriel trusted you. That also doesn’t happen often. I can’t tell you how many researchers he leaves to their own devices.”
“So you were jealous?” she asked. The question seemed so plain, so unfiltered—my answer was anything but.
“It’s more complicated than that. I felt like I had been working forever to barely grasp what you intuitively understood.”
Her soft laugh was music to my ears. I wanted to earn it more often. Part of me wondered if she was truly entertained or if her reactions to me were a result of our current predicament. My stomach dropped, and I took another long pull of my drink as I cataloged everything that entailed. For a moment, I dared to believe I was just here, at the tavern, having a drink with Evelyn. Maybe we were just discussing our day and our perspectives. Wewouldn’t always agree, but we could negotiate, perhaps meet in the middle, or learn a little from each other instead of assuming the other came from a place of judgment.
I wasn’t sure where we would go from here, but I felt certain we were accomplishing some part of our goal.
When I glanced back up, she studied me. Her lips moved, but no sound came out. I took this to mean she was still formulating what she wanted to say. To the casual observer, Evelyn might have seemed rash, but I knew she was careful with her words. She knew the power of them and chose each one with care.
“I call you the library golden boy in my head,” she admitted.
A loud laugh slipped from my lips. “It’s not always in your head, Evelyn. I’ve heard it.”
She didn’t look chastened as she continued. “You’ve been studying this for years. You had a great teacher in learning Vesten history. You know the needs of the court inside and out. I’m stumbling along in the dark, trying to do my best.”
“You don’t think I’m doing the same?” I clutched my glass for something to hold on to. “Every day, I’m unsure about what I’m doing. I believe in my research, but I know it can’t get us where we need to go. Some days, when I’m reading your papers, I know your vision for blood magic testing is correct.” She sucked in a breath, but I continued. “But that is at war with my every instinct. Sometimes, I’m not sure if I love or hate that part of my work.”
“The history—you love the history, though, right?”
I nodded.
“Is that why you stay? Even though the rest upsets you?”
The single question would have made my knees shaky if I weren’t already perched on the barstool.
