Page 33 of Research with Rivals
I couldn’t believe I’d sat silently while she spoke. It was clear she was embarrassed about her feelings, even when they were beyond her control. Mine, on the other hand. Mine werewhat got us into this mess. I remembered so distinctly sitting in the chair she’d offered me at her carrel. The chair she had kept hidden from me as one who might impose upon her quiet workspace with my inane questions about her tests.
Sometimes I annoyed myself with my worries.
Even as I questioned her work, I envied it. It would be a little intoxicating to be the focus of her attention like that. I’d been thinking how lucky those two flowers were to be bound together in that pot under her watchful eye. As much as I pressed Evelyn on the details of her research using living things, I knew she was careful. But my father had been careful, too.
Her position on the dangers of blood magic made more sense than I cared to admit. All of it was dangerous, since it hinged on intent. My father’s voice flooded my mind as I considered it. He always said it was more dangerous with living things because you were managing your intentandthe test subjects. There were more variables to consider.
And wasn’t my current predicament proof that my father was correct?
A throat cleared. Seraphina, Luna, and Vincent were all staring at me. They must have asked me a question. I hadn’t heard it.
“What?”
“What do you need to tell her? What information do you have?” Luna asked. It might have been Luna’s question, but I couldn’t help but notice the way Seraphina watched me. Her hand curled into a fist like one incorrect answer would get me thrown out of the tavern. Honestly, I had no doubt she could if she wanted to.
“I think I need to tell Evelyn first. But I promise I will do it first thing tomorrow.” I lifted my glass to my lips and tipped it back, emptying it. The slight rush the alcohol brought wasn’t near enough to clear my head of the cycle it was fixated on. Mywolf growled in my head, but this time, I was pretty sure it was me he was angry at.
You did this. It’s your fault. And you let her think otherwise.
Letting her work with faulty assumptions was more dangerous than any of the tests I’d accused her of doing in the library. Maybe I needed to find her tonight. That tightness in my chest constricted. Finding her wouldn’t be a problem.
Luna and Seraphina shared a glance, likely deciding whether or not my answer was sufficient. It must have been. Or, at least, they could give me a day to try things myself. Surely, they would come after me with pitchforks should I fail to provide Evelyn with the necessary information promptly.
I pulled out some coins and left them on the counter as I stood. “I’ll take care of it.”
The words were more for me than anyone else.
“I’ll walk you out.” Vincent stood and gave Luna an endearing smile before following me through the busy tavern.
He pulled me to the side of the building as soon as we exited. “Are you alright?”
I considered my response as I took in the cool night around me. Parkview Tavern was aptly named, surrounded by greenery. The scent of the forest filled my nose as I took in a deep breath. The twisting in my chest was still there, but it wasn’t getting worse. I wondered if that meant Evelyn had made it home.
“I’m fine.” I sighed heavily as Vincent rolled his eyes at my reply. He wouldn’t let me leave without more information. “I was just embarrassed speaking with Evelyn earlier. She said she thought about me all the time. I thought she was…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it, even to Vincent, and he’d heard me say that I believed the Vesten God was a myth.
“You thought she was interested in you?” He somehow knew what I was hiding without my awkward attempt at anexplanation. “You thought she was telling you she had feelings for you, like you do for her.”
I swiped my hand listlessly through the air. “It doesn’t matter. She confessed to a lot of feelings, none of which were under her control.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions, Ambrose. If everything you’ve said is true, you have both magic and real feelings floating around in there somewhere.” He gestured to my chest. “Don’t presume to know about hers until you ask her about them directly.”
I shrugged.
As if realizing he’d get no more acknowledgment from me, he switched to an even less cheery topic.
“What did your father say about the competition?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “You are a bright spot in my day, Vincent,” I said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
“So, he took it well, then.”
“He just assumed I would win. And somehow my keeping up the appearances made him proud.”
I wished I could sort through my own feelings on the matter, but I was at my wits’ end with everything else. Father’s opinions were colored by his accident. Until then, he’d been as avid a blood magic researcher as Evelyn. And honestly, not as good. Yes, he had reason to be scared, but I wasn’t sure that warranted dismissing the subject entirely.
If the Vesten Point and Lord Arctos were to be believed, they had needed to know about their blood magic connection in order to save the continent. That made learning about it seem a worthwhile investment to me.
Unfortunately, Lord Arctos’s problem and the competition for Vesten historian also weren’t at the top of my priority list. My bond with Evelyn was twisting me in knots. I needed to get somerest. Hopefully, that would clear my head, and we could start fresh in the morning.
