Page 95 of Research with Rivals
Dammit. I winced, finally evaluating myself.
“And mine has always been a mess when it comes to you. You have just … previously decided not to notice.”
I wasn’t going to let him distract me from this conversation. “When you thought of the Vesten historian position, where did you want to conduct your duties from?”
His hand was in his hair before I finished the question. “Evelyn.”
My name on his lips in that moment sounded like a prayer. I couldn’t help but notice he didn’t continue. I needed an answer. His family was here. His siblings were at his apartment every morning. I couldn’t ask him to come with me.
It’s not your decision to make for him. All you can do is ask.
And I knew that was right. I needed to wait for his answer. His focus was on his notebook. I had a deep desire to know what he studied. I gently tugged it from his hands. He let it go regretfully.
“I imagined the position here.” He sighed. “In Sandrin.”
White noise filled my ears. It was what I’d expected, but I hadn’t been ready to hear it. I had dreamed of the position being at Compass Lake, but it was flexible. The necessary meetings were infrequent enough that one could travel for them. The core of the responsibility was in the documentation and research, which only needed one of the Vesten’s most prestigious libraries. There were only two worth knowing about—the one we stood in now, and the one in Vesten House.
My eyes brimmed with tears, but they didn’t spill over as I glanced at the notebook.
Ambrose had written down everything that he’d said aloud. He’d even added another item to the list that saidDetermine what you want from Ambrose.
The list didn’t end there. It seemed he had continued with his own list at some point in my panic. The page resembled a pros and cons list. One column listedSandrin, the otherCompass Lake. He hadn’t finished filling it out. The only item was in the Compass Lake column in his tidy scrawl. The tears rimming my eyes slipped free as I read it.
The privilege of loving Evelyn, if she’ll let me.
A drop of water hit the page. My eyes were officially leaking.
I glanced up, meeting his patient hazel gaze, which softened as he watched me crumble.
“What about your family?” I asked.
He pointed needlessly to the notebook, to the item I knew he was most invested in. “That will be on my to-do list to figure out … if you have completed the final item on your list there.”
I opened and closed my mouth and flipped back a few pages in his notebook as I gathered my thoughts. I wanted everything with him. I wanted him to come to Compass Lake with me. He seemed to know it. But once again, he seemed intent on making me voice those desires for both of us to hear and acknowledge. Could I do it?
Then I caught my name in one of the notes on a prior page. My thoughts scattered as I flipped to another page and saw it again.
I gave him a final glance, checking for permission, before falling headfirst into reading his notebook. He only gave me a small smile, seemingly unworried about what I would find.
Evelyn’s sense of magic is extraordinary. In the Vesten Point’s study, she feels magic that seems connected to something on the property. The range on the sense is better than anyone else I’ve observed. Need to discuss, maybe when I’m less distracted by her.
Then another one.
Evelyn doesn’t seem to realize that I notice her in every room. (Explain in a non-creepy way). Is this due to the bond between us?
Added note: This persists even after the bond is dissolved.
I flipped farther back and found my name scattered throughout, even before our magical entanglement.
Ask Evelyn how she thinks about which plants or animals to test. Want to understand the selection process better.
To Do: Tell her why I don’t do that testing as of yet; maybe then I will seem more like an anxiety-ridden mess than a jerk.
I laughed at the last. “I figured this one out.” Then my gaze held his again, and everything I’d been trying to avoid by perusing his notes slammed back into me.
“You write about me a lot,” I said, wincing as the words came out.
“I think about you a lot,” he said with no hesitation.
