Page 1 of Research with Rivals
1
Evelyn
Having a favorite study carrel in the Vesten Library might have said more about me than I’d liked, but honestly, I never thought I’d be allowed in, so small things still felt like huge accomplishments.
Now, if only I could reach said study carrel without the utter embarrassment of being seen by my fellow researchers in the other aisle.
“What’s she doing over there? Are we in danger?” Tatyana’s voice drifted over the dark wooden shelf. Unfortunately, I was stuck here on the opposite side crouched next to all five volumes ofSandrin’s Floral EncyclopediaandA History of Fae and Fauna. More unfortunately, Tatyana and Landon were speaking of my experiment.
“It’s blood magic, tested on living things. In the middle of the Great Room. Of course, we’re in danger. Anything could happen,” Landon replied.
He wasn’t wrong, precisely, but I didn’t appreciate his tone. I’d taken every precaution for this experiment. Not that my desk particularlylookedsafe right now. From his vantage point, one could see seemingly random items spread atop it: my notebook and pencil, a ceramic pot with two incompatible flowers planted in the dirt, and a small knife.
“And she’s not even there overseeing it,” Landon droned on.
I refrained from letting out a sigh or making my presence known. I had only slipped away to grab a textbook. That had been my second mistake.
My first mistake was thinking the Vesten would ever accept my research.
My area of study, blood magic, was not new but had recently gained popularity. Fae society had previously looked down on the magic; some still did, but one advantage of growing up outside of the courts was that I’d never known that. I tested what I pleased without risk of ostracization. Spoiler alert: I was already ostracized. It wasn’t until I’d started working at the library that I realized how vehemently other researchers disagreed with my approach.
“We should tell Ambrose, he’ll put a stop to it,” Tatyana said.
There was a touch of awe in her voice, like a common citizen calling on a fabled knight to save her. I wanted to gag. Ambrose was the only other researcher in the library who studied blood magic. But he had been studying history in the library for much longer. He was unfortunately decent at both. I bit my lip as I acknowledged that was an understatement. As Tatyana’s inflection indicated, he was the library’s golden boy. He knew everything and solved all their problems.
I was one of those problems, so they had him deal with me frequently.
Ambrose considered my research methods dangerous at best and reckless at worst. Thankfully, the head librariandisagreed. Still, it made working with Ambrose challenging. Our communications were like two people speaking different languages, and we didn’t have the luxury to fall back on small words and gestures to bridge the many gaps. Yet, somehow, we’d ended up the only two in our discipline.
The shuffle of feet drew my attention. Were they actually going to get him? What children. I shouldn’t be surprised, but still fury bubbled inside of me. It was literally my job to conduct these experiments. I yanked the book I needed off the shelf,Sandrin’s Floral Encyclopedia - Part IV, and gripped it tightly,before remembering that their absence was precisely what I needed to make my escape from the stacks without notice.
Instead of standing from where I was crouched in the next aisle, I glanced across the room to where Ambrose stood reshelving a book. Tatyana and Landon strode toward him like soldiers on a mission. Ambrose would disapprove of my test. If he had his way, we would never test blood magic on any living thing—not even plants.
Again, I silently acknowledged that blood magicwasdangerous. What no one seemed to grasp was thatallblood magic was dangerous. If danger was the line we couldn’t cross, then neither mine, nor Ambrose’s position should exist.
I’d never dared hope for this position. It hadn’t even been an option I considered. Until six months ago, the courts liked to pretend half-fae didn’t exist. And they triedhard. They didn’t allow my name in the court record book. I couldn’t attend school with the other Vesten children. No one would teach me about our magic.
When I was a kid, Mom didn’t have a lot of spare money, so sometimes, I’d watch other children at the sweets store in town. They would come out with brightly colored lollipops, fantastically shaped chocolates, and these small red balls ofhard candy that smelled like cinnamon. Unsurprisingly, the Vesten who exited the shop ignored me. Even worse, the human children I saw every day at the school I was allowed to attend did the same. I thought maybe if I had the candy, it would make them include me, but I couldn’t even have that. So, I’d press my nose right up to the storefront’s glass window, thinking maybe I could smell it—maybe that would be enough.
It was never enough.
It wasn’t even about wanting the candy, though I did. It was about wanting to belong to one of the groups in the shop. The fae didn’t think me fae enough to be one of them, and the humans thought me too fae to be theirs. What did that leave me?
Eventually, I learned not to want any of it.
Wanting was fuel to the fire of disappointment. If I didn’t want the sweets, at least I wouldn’t get a stomachache. If I didn’t want my father to return, then maybe I wouldn’t care that he left us. And maybe if I didn’t want this position in the library so badly, it wouldn’t be a big deal when Ambrose finally convinced the head librarian to change his mind about my employment.
Unfortunately, my gaze lingered on Ambrose across the room. I’d need a ladder to reach the shelf onto which he effortlessly slid a book. No one needed to be that tall or that broad. And no one needed their clothes to fit that well. Even through his customary layers—a white shirt, with an earth-tone vest—the definition of his arms was clear. We spent all our time in a library, reading books. When did he have time to exercise?
My eyes narrowed as Tatyana and Landon reached him. I was out of time. Finally, I stood from behind the shelf and scuttled toward my study carrel by the fire. The Great Room was always so cold. One of the benefits of this particular spot was proximity to the heat.
The items on my desk hadn’t moved, but I took my seat and unnecessarily tidied them while sneaking covert glancesacross the room. Ambrose, hands on his hips, nodded along to whatever fears Tatyana and Landon espoused about me and my research.
I gritted my teeth. It wasn’t just that he had an impossible physique. He always looked so confident, so at home in this library. I, on the other hand, held my books tight to my chest in hopes no one would take them away. Scurrying away from shelves where others gossiped about me wasn’t a one-time occurrence.
Lines had been drawn quickly on the correct and incorrect ways to experiment with blood magic. Testing on living things, even plants as I did, was in the minority. Ambrose, on the other hand, tested only on inanimate objects.
I tried repeatedly to explain that intent mattered most—more than test subjects. The only one who appeared to listen was the head librarian. I guessed that was enough to retain my employment, but it was isolating.
