Page 36 of Rah
“Essence, I need you to take care ofyour brother, okay?”
Essence was a lot like her mother. Though she was hurting on the inside, she held back those tears like a big girl. Yet, I sadly watched as two or three were able to escape. I saw that she was pissed more than anything. Her adolescent mind was ready to fight right along with me.
She nodded her head with her lips balled up in anger. Her breathing was sporadic. Yet, she reached for her brother and held his trembling hand. I kissed them both on the cheek and told them that I loved them.
“There will be a court date on the twenty–seventh,” the woman told me as they began to walk towards the door.
I couldn’t even speak. My father wrapped his arms around me. I buried my cries and whimpers into his chest. I couldn’t even bear to watch my children walk out of that house.
I blamed myself for being so naive that I didn’t see that Rah had this in him.
But, little did I know, he wasn’t done with me yet.
FABE
On Christmas Eve, I crept through Aaliyah and Rah’s back door. As I walked in, I told myself I was just there to drop off my gifts and bounce because, as always, Aaliyah was home alone.
As I inched through the kitchen, I could hear old slow jams playing through the speakers in the living room. Red and green lights from the tree were blinking against the walls.
Aaliyah was swaying to SZA in short shorts and a bra top. Her hips rocked while she hung ornaments. The sight stopped me in my tracks. I’d been trying to starve this feeling, but every time I got near her it fed itself. Aaliyah felt like the right answer. She made me think about doing the kind of forever I never promised anyone.
I walked quietly over the carpet until I was right behind her, close enough to smell her lotion. My hand found her without asking, cupping her waist.
She turned with that smile I kept trying not to dream about.
“Fabe!” she screeched. “I thought you were Rah!”
I backed up, hands raised, grinning like a guilty man who didn’t want forgiveness.
“You scared me,” she panted with shock. Then she relaxed while looking at my hand that was still on her waist. “You betta stop.”
I let her turn back to the tree because desire was roaring inside of me, but I forced my common sense to tell it to chill.
“Put that thing up,” I murmured in a voice I only had for her.
She started tugging at her shorts like modesty would make my need for her go away. I slid the big gift bag under the tree with my foot and stood there, soaking her in even as I told myself to leave her alone. I wanted to be the man she never had to doubt, the man who made holidays feel like home.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as she continued to decorate the tree. “Rah isn’t here.”
“I can see that. I’m dropping off gifts for him, Junior, and you.”
I traced a line at the small of her back, just to feel that spark hit my finger. She jumped, and the way her booty jiggled made my self-control slip.
“Stop it, Fabe.” She turned, eyes searching mine. “What’s gotten into you? Are you drunk?”
I wasn’t drunk. Not even close. I was clearer than I’d ever been and fixed on the one truth that was getting harder to hide. I wanted her. I wanted to love her out loud, not in the shadows.
Usually, I joked my way around it. Lately, it had been getting harder to.
“Why are you so committed to him?”
She blinked rapidly. My question had caught her off guard. “Why shouldn’t I be?”
Her answer stung, but it didn’t surprise me. Loyalty was theprettiest thing about her, and it was my downfall. I respected it even though it kept her away from me.
“And why don’t you have the same loyalty to him? That’s your brother.”
Her eyes pinned mine. I saw her nipples hardening under her top, her breath catching, and blood rushing to her face. I sat on the couch before I did something that rewired both our lives with one bad decision.
