Page 163 of Rah
After a moment, her expression softened. She took a breath like she was letting something go. “Sometimes I feel guilty for moving on so easy. Like I should still be broken or mad or something.”
I took her hand and allowed my thumb to rub slow against her palm. “You don’t owe pain no loyalty. You earned peace.”
Her eyes got glossy, but her smile didn’t fade.
“You’re different now,” I said, watching her. “You look happy, like peace finally picked you.”
She smiled wider. “Peace looks a lot likeyou.”
That one made me blush like a little girl. For a second, I couldn’t even speak. I just stared at her, knowing I’d never look at another woman the same again.
She looked out the window, softly saying, “Sometimes I still can’t believe I get to be this happy after everything.”
I squeezed her hand. “You’re supposed to be.”
SOLAE
The visitation room was quieter than usual that day. Maybe because the other women were with their kids, and mine weren’t there.
I hated it.
Priest had been forced to leave them behind this time because they had testing at school they couldn’t miss. I wanted to see them, but I couldn’t be mad about having some time alone with Priest either.
He sat across from me with his elbows on the table and his eyes steady on mine. His fingers found mine and held them.
“How are the kids holding up?” I asked, squeezing his hand.
“They’re good. Better than I expected, honestly.”
I nodded slowly. I’d been shocked too by how well they’d taken it.
When I called home that morning and my parents told me that Rah was dead, that the COs shot him during transport after he tried to escape, it didn’t really surprise me. If anybody was reckless enough to die like that, it was Rah.
They gave me the chance to tell the kids myself.
Elijah cried a little, mostly because he didn’t know how to feel. Essence just stared, quiet and thoughtful like she always gets when she’s trying to make sense of something big. But neither of them broke down the way I expected. I guess that was telling.
Rah had scared the hell out of those kids once we separated. He’d chipped away at their love for him one outburst at a time. And since his arrest, they hadn’t spoken to him at all.
So, it made sense that Priest was the one they looked at like a father now. He’d been the one showing up, the one teaching Elijah how to play basketball, the one brushing Essence’s hair when she refused to let my mama touch it because she did a worse job than Priest.
He tilted his head slightly. “How are you holding up, though?”
I shrugged. “Honestly… I feel guilty for feeling relieved.”
He smiled, that slow, knowing smile of his. “That why you got that glow?”
I frowned a little. “What glow?”
He leaned back, letting his eyes roam over my face. “That one right there. That glow that says somebody’s been treating you right.”
I laughed softly, blushing. “Because somebody has.”
He grinned at that, with his thumb tracing slow circles over the back of my hand. “Good. ‘Cause that’s the only kind of treatment you deserve.”
For a moment, we just sat there, looking at each other while conversation filled the room around us.
I took a breath and said, “You know, you didn’t have to do all this. You could’ve walked away, Priest. You could’ve found somebody who didn’t come with all this baggage.”
