Page 120 of Betrayed in the Dark
Get rid of it.
Fear, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, engulfs me.
“Madeleine…” I take a step closer, towering right behind her. Our eyes meet in the reflection of the window as I say, “This letter… This letter wasn’t from me. I never wrote these words. I never received a letter from you saying that you were…”
Pregnant.
Oh God.
Everything spins as I grip the four-poster bed and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. Every emotion swirls around me like a vortex of agony. I sit on the edge of the mattress, placing the letter beside me and dragging a shaky hand through my hair. “You were pregnant…with our baby?” I look up at her, finding her completely at a loss for words as she slowly nods. I grip the sides of my head and lean forward, tugging at my hair.
She was pregnant.
She was pregnant with our baby.
And I had no fucking clue.
The center of my chest tightens painfully, and I feel like I can’t get enough oxygen into my lungs.
“I don’t… I don’t understand what’s going on.” Her voice trembles as she wraps her arms around her waist, her eyes wide in disbelief. “You never… You never got my letter?”
I shake my head.
“Oh my God…” she breathes, her voice breaking as she reaches for the wall for support. “You really didn’t know.”
I swallow hard, trying to muster the courage within me for what I need to ask her. But even as a man who has seen the horrors of this world firsthand, I’ll never be strong enough for the answer she’ll give me.
“Princess,” I say as softly and calmly as I can manage. Tears pour from her blue eyes, soaking her cheeks.She knows.She knows exactly what I’m about to ask her, and as much as I don’t want to hurt her, I need to know. “What happened to our baby?”
Chapter twenty-seven
Madeleine
“I…lost…it.”
My knees give out as I slowly fall to the ground, but before my legs touch the carpet, Eli’s strong arms wrap around my waist, hauling me against his chest as he sits on the floor, leaning against the wall for support.
Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as they stream down my cheeks like raging rivers. An agonizing sob escapes my lips as every ounce of pain pierces my chest. It feels as if all the days I should have spent grieving the loss of my baby are crashing over me at once, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to survive it.
It hurts too much.
Eli’s hold on me tightens as if he’s scared I might get up and run out of his reach. But I won’t. Not this time.
I cram my face into the crook of his neck, my tears soaking his shirt. I grip the fabric with shaking fingers, tethering him to me. His hands glide smoothly up and down my back, and I think it’s his way of trying to calm himself as much as me.
It could be days, hours, or merely minutes that we sit like this, wrapped tightly around one another, but after I finally feel oxygen filling my lungs, I part my lips.
“All this time,” I breathe against his chest. “I thought…you knew. I thought…” I look up at him, guilt slamming into me. His eyes are brimming with unshed tears he’s holding back. He’s trying to stay strong for me when he doesn’t have to. “I’m so sorry.” My hand reaches up, cupping his face. “I was cruel to you. And you’ve let me be with no consequences. You were my punching bag for months, and I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You have not one damn thing to be sorry for.” His lips press against my temple, lingering before gliding across my skin. “You thought… You thought I told you to abort our baby. As if I were a monster, giving you no option in the matter. You thought I was abandoning you because of this when, instead, I would have stepped up to the plate and been there for you in whatever way you needed me to be.” He rolls our foreheads together. “I would hate me too if I were you.”
“I should have known it wasn’t you.” I look down at my fingers curling into his shirt. “You would never have said those words to me. That’s not who you are. But I was alone. I was so confused and hurt. I didn’t know what to do. I’m so ashamed of myself.” I shake my head, nausea invading my stomach.
So much time has been lost.
So much pain has been felt.
So much anger directed at a man who didn’t deserve an ounce of it.
