Page 39 of Fighting the Tide
There’s no time for foreplay, none of the gentle teasing we had in the past.My pants are undone and down around my ankles as hers are thrown aside.I hoist her up as she wraps her legs around my waist, bringing her warm core to my aching cock.It feels like an eternity of solitude has finally ended when I sink deep inside her.Her tight walls grip me as her head tips back to meet the wall of the lighthouse and a loud moan filters around the room.Her cheeks bloom in red as I work my length deep inside her, forcing her tight pussy to take every inch I’m feeding her, and when her wide eyes meet mine, I can see she recognizes this new energy between us.
I’m not a young, inexperienced boy anymore, and she’s not the same broken girl I always try to piece back together.Right here and now, inside this lighthouse, we’re just Brooke and Nolan, two halves of a fucked-up soul that’s searching for a way to heal each other.I pound up into her as sweat breaks out along my forehead, and I have to grit my teeth to stop myself from coming too soon, but there’s no need because she begins to tighten around me as her breathing comes out in heavy pants.
“Oh god, Nolan,” she groans as her heels dig into my ass.“I’m so close.”
I also thank god because I’m right there with her, and when she tumbles over that edge, I watch her fall, her face a mask of euphoria.As always, I’m chasing right behind, following her into the abyss and trusting that no matter where we are, as long as we’re together, we’ll make it.
I pull out of her as her eyes close and she drops her feet to the floor, her face suddenly filled with regret, and the sight makes my stomach churn.
“You need to stay away from me,” she warns as she gets dressed.“Don’t you realize by now?I’m no good for you.”Her words should sting, but I’m used to her frigid demeanor after she gives in to our magnetism.
“You’re calling me stupid,” I surmise with a chuckle as I pull my pants up and watch as she slips her sandals back on.“I don’t know that I can stay away, Brooke, and right now, the way you look and how skinny you’ve become, I’m worried about what you’ve been doing for the last ten months.”The concern I’ve been feeling since I first saw her is evident in my tone.
“What I’ve been doing?”She lets out a dry laugh, the sound testing my last nerve.“Actually,”—she pulls her hood up over her head—“I’ve been doing what I’ve always done, Nolan Sears, even before you existed in my life.I’m taking care of myself.”
“Clearly not,” I snap, and then instantly regret my words as her pain-filled eyes search mine.“You don’t look well,” I try to say in a softer tone, but the damage is done as she brushes by me.“Brooke, wait!”I reach a hand out, wanting to stop her but not wanting to touch her when she’s in this state.
“What do you want from me?”She throws out her arms as her shrill question echoes around us.With her back to me, I can’t see what emotions are on her face and it’s giving me a disadvantage.“What do you want?”
“I want you to give us a chance for once.To really give us a chance.Don’t treat me like a plaything.Don’t use me to pass your time.I know about NYU, and you could have come to New York with me.So explain to me, Brooke, why you tried to make me stay here.”My body tenses as I prepare for whatever words she’ll use to batter me back, to keep me at arm’s length.
“Because I knew you would change as soon as you stepped foot into that school, and I was right.”She comes to stand in front of me as her palm presses over my heart, her eyes shining with regret.The warmth of her palm is like a balm over my wounded heart.“In here, you will always be that sweet boy who talked me off the edge.The boy who begged me to live so I could save his life, but people change, Nolan, and I am nothing like that girl you left ten months ago.”Her voice shakes with her declaration as if that’s not a good thing.
“Thank God for that, because the girl I left ten months ago didn’t care about me at all.”Another sarcastic laugh tumbles from her mouth as she shakes her head and walks out of the lighthouse, filling my chest with an icy chill once again.
“The problem was that I cared too much, Nolan,” she reveals as I follow behind her, and not once does she turn to witness her destruction.“I tried to bury that when I knew you would be leaving and I was staying here.I tried to rip the love I had for you out of my chest and bury it somewhere here along the beach, hoping one day it would find its roots out in the center of the ocean, so very far away from me.”
Her words are breaking me all over again, and it’s almost like I’m standing there, in that pool house, watching her make love to someone else.She abruptly stops and turns to face me, her face filled with determination.“Don’t say that.”I stop and reach for her just as she steps away, letting my hand fall back to my side.“Can I see you again?”I’m panicking inside about losing her as my heart climbs into my throat.
“Do you think that’s smart?”she asks as she curls the sleeves of her sweater into her palms, covering her hands and trying her best to hide how much she’s trembling.
“Yes,” I say, even though something in the back of my mind is screaming a loud, resoundingno.“I want to see you again before I have to leave.”
She looks up at the sky as the clouds skate over the moon and then her eyes find mine as she gives me a slight nod, the movement sending my heart into overdrive.“Fine.Meet me at the theater tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I readily agree as we head back up to the road, and I follow her to her car.She opens the door and then turns to look at me.
“You’re going to regret this one day, Nolan.I hope you know that, and when you do, I also hope you remember that I warned you.”I can’t resist it as I cup her face between my hands and bend to place a sweet kiss on her mouth as her hands curl around mine, her cold palms pressing to my heated skin.
“And I want you to remember this moment too, Brooke,” I whisper against her mouth, our lips brushing together with the movement.“This time will be different.We’re older, wiser, and there doesn’t have to be any more games.I’m asking for your whole heart this time, Brooke.I’m begging you to trust me to take care of it.Please.”
“You are a fool, Nolan.”She smiles sadly as she turns out of my hold and sits in her driver’s seat.I step back and close the door, watching her start her car, then roll her window down.“Too much has changed, and one day, you’ll leave here hating me again.”She sounds so sure of that, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but I’d also be lying if I said I could walk away right now and never think of Brooke Eastham again.
“What time should I meet you at the theater?”I wrap my hands around the open window and lean in, just to breathe her in one more time.“And don’t think of standing me up, Brooke, because I will go by your house.”
She gives me a fearful look as she shakes her head.“I can be there for the one o’clock show, but I’ll have to go home right after.”I step back with a nod as she puts the car in drive and pulls away from the curb, speeding down the road as the sound of her roaring engine fills me with dread.
She’s always enjoyed speed, as with every other aspect of her life.It feels like Brooke is always running on the wrong path, driving too fast on the wrong road, and no matter the advice anyone gives her or the direction someone tries to lead her in, she’ll always march to the beat of her own drum.Even if it’s to her worst detriment.I want to be the person who fixes her, I’ll admit it, because I want so desperately for her to truly be mine.
I get in the truck and start up the engine, turning around to head back to the cottage with nothing but the moon and my headlights to illuminate the roads.We’ve been petitioning as a town for street lights on this main road for years but to no avail.It’s dangerous, especially if it rains.The lack of light and slick pavement is a cocktail for disaster.There have been accidents over the years, but nothing has been done to prevent them.
I pull into the driveway and shut off the engine, watching as the curtains move inside.It’s as if someone was standing there at the window, waiting for me to come home, and then I feel like a jerk because the only person in there who would do that is my mother.I hate to think that I woke her up or that she’s been waiting for me to come back.I rush inside and look around the small space, but I find it empty and the bedroom door shut.Then I wonder if I imagined it all.I get ready for bed after taking a quick shower, and when I crawl between the sheets and close my eyes, I see Brooke with her hands wrapped around the metal bar of the lighthouse, leaning over the ocean with her eyes shut and her cheeks soaked with tears.This was the exact moment Brooke broke me, and I relive it each night.
Chapter Seventeen
Afterspendingthemorningwith my mom on the beach, collecting shells and talking about school, she surprised me with something.
“Stay away from Brooke, Nolan,”she had said, and I remember stopping and looking at her in shock.“I knew about you two and I know what she did to you.It was no secret, and I would overhear things while I was cleaning the rental cottages.She’s still the same girl you left behind, and she will do nothing but ruin your life.A life you worked so hard to create.”
