Page 96 of Fighting the Tide
These results can’t come soon enough.
Chapter Forty-One
Ithinkshe’spunishingme.It’s been eight days since the party and I haven’t heard from Colette.She’s either pissed about the Cassie situation or she’s waiting, impatiently like me, for the results.Like a madman, I’ve been driving by the theater every day, looking for any sign of her, and a few times I watched her close up and ride her bike home.I didn’t want to announce my stalking antics to her, so instead of offering her a ride, I followed to make sure she got home okay.I understand her reasoning for not wanting to drive, but that needs to change.Her bike won’t protect her from a severe storm.
After placing my empty mug in the sink, I contemplate messaging Monica again.It’s Monday, which means a double for her at the hospital, and I’m hoping today is the day.Monica said most results come in on Mondays and I have been a nervous wreck since dinner last night.I’m thankful for Colette’s distance because each time we find ourselves alone, the lines blur a little more.I lose all rational thought in her presence and when she finally leaves, guilt and fear explode inside of me.What if I’m her father?She’s felt me harden against her, our lips have touched, and I am utterly obsessed with her.
I grab my keys and decide to head over to Avery’s.She’s home with Elijah today and I could use the distraction.If I stay here and continue to stress, I’ll end up wearing a hole into the floor of the cottage and burying myself in it.
The drive to Avery’s is a little longer than usual since my new pastime of stalking takes me in a roundabout direction so I can drive by the Eastham’s house.I’m sick, I know that, but it’s terminal and I don’t have the fucking cure.My mind wanders again to when I was sixteen years old and falling for the bad girl.How did I ever think that was love?It was consuming lust, undeniable attraction, and secret trysts, but it wasn’t love.I wanted so badly to have someone love me that I forced myself to believe Brooke was it.
I did love Brooke.There’s no denying that and I won’t tell anyone otherwise, but it wasn’t a once-in-a-lifetime love.She was my puppy love, my first taste of being in a relationship, but the experience broke me and I shut it all out.Until now.
I pull into Avery’s driveway, thankful the gates are open, and park in front of the house.I don’t want to announce my arrival when I’m still shaking from my thoughts about Brooke.The guilt building inside of me is only growing stronger and soon I will be hauled out with the current, fighting the tide once again.I’m in love with my ex-girlfriend’s daughter.The thought has my stomach flipping and I rush out of the vehicle, running for the front door.Avery will talk me down from this.She has to.
“Nolan?”She opens the door and gives me a puzzled look.“I saw you pull in on the cameras.Are you okay?You look like you’ve seen a ghost.You’re not seeing Brooke again, are you?”She moves out of the way, giving me space to enter, and then closes the door behind us.
“I am driving myself insane,” I confess, and run my hands through my hair.“What happens after those results come in?”
“Okay, breathe.”She grabs my hand and pulls me to the kitchen.“I’ll make tea—”
“I don’t want tea, Aves!”I shake off her hand and suck in a breath.“My life is out of control.I wasn’t supposed to even come back here, and now, I could be a… What if I’m her…” I can’t say the word for fear the coffee I drank will make a reappearance on Avery’s kitchen floor.
“We’ll face it together, Nolan.This is where you’re meant to be.We’re your family and it’s time you stopped being alone.Don’t fear the future and let us help you.”She comes to me and wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me tightly as I wrap mine around her shoulders.
“I hate it here,” I say, my words catching with a hitch in my chest.“There’s never any peace in this town.We’re all just living in Hell.”
“No.”She chuckles and pulls away.“No matter where you are, Hell will find you.That’s life.I’ll admit, your life was much harder than most, but it’s time to let the past and its demons go.”She picks up a large beach bag from the floor and holds it out to me.“Elijah and I were about to head over to the beach.You can come with us.”
After we pack an excited Elijah into the Range Rover, I drive us to the cottage.If I’m going to spend the day burying my stress, then I might as well fill it with the people I love.A barbecue and some swimming is a good start.
“Is that Kasen?”Avery mutters as I look up my driveway, finding the man standing beside his car at the top, his arms crossed over his chest.
I curse under my breath as I pull in, hoping Elijah doesn’t hear it over the music and his excitement.“Why don’t you guys go ahead?Take my keys.”I park the vehicle and hand her my keyring as I open the door.“Kasen.”I look at the man and give him a nod.
“Nolan.”He gives me one back, then narrows his eyes on Avery.“Sanderson.”She moves around the front of my vehicle and heads to Elijah’s door, her face filled with annoyance.
“That’s about to be Monica’s last name too in a year.”Then she opens the door and reaches for her son as I hide my smirk with my hand.“Come on, little man.Let’s head inside and find Uncle Nolan’s swim trunks.”
Kasen plays it smart and remains quiet as Avery and Elijah gather their things and walk to the front door, then unlock it to step inside, closing the door behind them.“What do you want, Kasen?”I lean against the Range Rover and cross my arms over my chest.
“Cassie left me,” he confesses as he drops his own arms from his chest and slips his hands into his pockets.He looks sad and tired, but I don’t let my guard down as he watches me closely.
“And what?You thought she was here?”I tip my head to give him a quizzical look and he exhales his breath and looks around.
“I know she’s been coming here.I have a GPS tracker in her car,” he confesses and shakes his head.“I know she’s not here now, but she was not too long ago.You weren’t here.She’s hoping you’ll take her back and you two will live some fantasy together.I need you to tell her that won’t ever happen.”His tone is pissing me off and in some spiteful way, I want to say I could have her if I want, but instead, I take a deep breath and focus on the facts.
“I don’t want to be with Cassie and I have told her as much, many times.There’s not much more I can do.”I shrug my shoulders and watch as he swipes a frustrated hand through his hair.“I’m not here for her if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“She clearly thinks there’s a chance.”He opens his truck door and looks at me over his shoulder.“I didn’t come here to threaten you or anything.She’s my entire world.”
“Maybe you should start treating her that way then.Stop tracking her and following her around like this.You’re acting like she’s your property and not a fucking human.”It spills from my mouth, sounding harsher than I intend, but he’s going about this the wrong way if he wants to win Cassie back.“Trust her.”
“How?How do I do that when she’s coming over here to you every time we fight?”He has a point.
“I don’t know how you will repair the damage you’ve caused or if you even can, but it has to start with you taking her off the leash.I promise you I don’t want her, but that doesn’t mean she won’t find someone else who will.Make her fall in love with you again, however you did it the first time.”Honestly, I don’t know what caught her eye with Kasen and I can only hope it wasn’t because she was rebounding from us.
He gets into his truck and starts it up, pulling out without giving me a second look.It’s a little concerning that Cassie was here again this morning, especially after the near altercation between her and Colette the week before.Everyone is beginning to sound correct when they say she’s not getting the clue.I need to make it clearer, and then I need to tell her to stay away from me.Being friends no longer seems to be an option, which makes me sad.She’s a link I have to my high school and college years, and I would hate to lose it.
