Page 88 of Fighting the Tide
“Could you put a shirt on?”Avery snaps as she lifts her glasses to look at me.“It’s indecent.”
“What?”I tip my head in confusion as I stare right back at her.
“You’re parading around the beach without clothes on because you want Colette to see your six-pack.Look, we get it, you’re fit for an old man,” she huffs as she drops her glasses back over her eyes and looks back to her family.
“I’m wearing board shorts.It’s a fucking beach.Have you lost your mind?”I snarl at her as she shrugs.
“I hope your nipples blister with a sunburn,” she hisses back with a smirk.
“That would be insanely uncomfortable.”I nearly choke at the sound of Colette’s voice as she stands behind us, her approach masked by my so-called best friend’s idiocy.Of course, she chooses this moment to show up.
I push up from the sand and dust my ass off, leaving the both of them chuckling behind me as I head to Monica and Elijah.
“Uncle Nolan!I’m gonna build a sandcastle,” Elijah says as he begins pressing the wet sand into a bucket.I crouch down beside him as Monica looks over my shoulder toward Avery on the beach, then gives me a knowing smile.
“Hey, do you know your mom and I used to build sandcastles on this beach when we were your age too?”I tell him as I grab another one of his buckets and start filling it with sand.
“Really, Uncle Nolan?”he squeals and looks at Monica.“Did you build the castles, Mom?”
“No, but I did like watching them do it.”It suddenly hits me that Monica, Avery, and I have literally grown up together, and we did it all along this beach.Now watching them raise their own son here, doing the same things we did, is hitting me in the chest.It’s more than nostalgia.I won’t say it out loud, but I feel like my life is missing this.I’ve spent so many years avoiding Chatham that I’ve let my life pass me by.The chance to find someone and have a family all seems very overwhelming, but the thought of the Sears’ name ending with me is depressing.I know my mother wouldn’t have wanted that.
“Hey, buddy.”Colette’s floral scent competes with the ocean air as she joins us on the beach, crouching down beside Elijah to tousle his hair with her fingers.“Are we building sandcastles?”
Monica stands and brushes off her hands as I keep my eyes on the sand in the bucket in front of me.“I’m going to sit with Mommy for a bit,” she says.I can feel her eyes on the top of my head, but I continue filling the bucket as she walks away.
“Yeah!Uncle Nolan is helping me build a castle,” Elijah says to Colette excitedly.“He and Mommy used to build them here when they were little too.”
“That’s amazing,” Colette murmurs, the softness of her tone making my eyes flick up to her face.She has a far off look in her eyes as she gazes out at the ocean, and I wonder if she’s thinking about her mother.“I’ll go collect some seashells to decorate it with.”She stands and my eyes follow her movement, the sight before me knocking the air out of my lungs.She’s in a black bikini with frill accents and nothing else.Golden skin glitters under the sun and there’s so much of it I couldn’t look away if I tried.Her long legs seem to stretch on forever, ending at her pink-painted toes.She turns to walk away and I have to brace myself with my hand on the sand as I watch her hips sway, twin dimples winking at me from her lower back.
I finally get a hold of myself and suck in a lungful of air.I’ve never been so intrigued and yet so completely disgusted with myself before.It’s like a war is happening inside of me every time she’s around, and it’s a coin toss of what feeling is going to prevail in the end.The only thing keeping me in line is the fact that I couldn’t live with myself if something were to happen, or if we were to act on this flame, that’s clearly igniting between us, and find out that she is indeed my daughter.There’s no coming back from that.
So with that thought in mind, I wipe the images of her out of my head and concentrate solely on Elijah and this castle, hoping I make it through this day unscathed.
I have sand in every crevice of my body, in places sand should never be, but it was worth it.Our sandcastle turned out awesome and Elijah was so excited that he begged to bury me on the beach, and of course, I obliged.
The water hits my waist, washing away the sand as I begin to splash it up on my chest.The second the palm of her hand presses to my shoulder blade, my entire body tenses and an electric current skates across my skin.
“You have sand all over your back,” she rasps, her voice husky and low.“Let me help you.”
I don’t have the strength to deny her, because her touch alone is something to be revered.There’s no stopping my carnal reaction and I can feel myself hardening in my shorts, thankful for the cover of water.Her long nails scrape along my skin as she cleans it of sand, her breathing deepening.She’s just as affected.I bet if I were to turn around now and face her, she’d be flushed with desire.
“Nolan.”The sound of my name rolling off her tongue has me groaning, unable to stop it as it rumbles from deep in my chest.She gasps and steps in closer to me, her breasts brushing my back.“Your body is beautiful.”Her hands roam along my shoulders as I shudder with her touch, my heart nearly breaking through my rib cage.
“So is yours,” I mutter and instantly regret it when her lips press against the space between my shoulders.Her hot breath cascades over my skin and, for one moment, I soak it all in.The feel of her body caressing mine, the scent of her heated skin swirling around me, and the firm press of her hands as they snake around my waist to explore my abs.
I cover her hands with mine, my fingers briefly squeezing hers before I remove them.“We can’t, Colette.”
“We can’t because you think I’m your daughter?Or we can’t because I am my mother’s daughter?”She steps away from me, making my skin pebble from the loss of her heat.My brows crinkle together as I absorb her question, knowing full well that the second no longer matters.
“I won’t be staying here… in Chatham,” I inform her as I continue to clean the sand off my body.“I live in New York.So even if it comes back that I’m not your father, it’s not a good idea to pursue this.”I don’t even know how to describe whatthisis.
“Do you want me?”she asks quietly, her words barely audible over the pounding of my heart in my ears.I can’t turn to look at her because I’m so fucking weak.
“I can’t answer that,” I force out, my words sounding pained.“Iwon’tanswer that.”My hands fist at my sides as I try to harden my resolve and not turn around to face her.She exhales a frustrated sigh and stays silent.The only sound is the water moving around her legs as she walks back to the beach.I count to ten and look over my shoulder to find her heading back toward the cottage, her head hanging with dejection.
My eyes eat up her form, taking in every scrap I can before our lives change forever.Ignorance is truly bliss because even though this is wrong, I don’t know any better yet.I internally curse Brooke again as I wade out of the water toward the shore.I just can’t understand why she kept Colette from me, whether she was my daughter or not.
I grab my towel from the sand and walk back to the cottage, my stomach grumbling with the prospect of food.Avery and Monica went ahead to clean up Elijah and start dinner while I was supposed to be cleaning the sand from my body, not frolicking half-naked with my maybe-daughter in the ocean.
