Page 80 of Fighting the Tide
“Yeah, sounds good.We could discuss how everyone, including yourself, kept Brooke’s daughter a secret from me.”Cassie doesn’t owe me anything, but this is different, and even though the betrayal doesn’t burn as deep as Avery not telling me, Cassie and I have a past, regardless of how it turned out.
“Colette Eastham.”She says her name with a slight sneer in her tone.“What would you have wanted me to do, Nolan?Call you and be like, ‘Hey, Brooke left you one more fuck you from the grave,’ is that what you wanted from me?You wanted it to fall on my shoulders to tell you about just how vile her betrayal to you was?”
“Is Sean her father?”It’s quiet on the line, only the sound of her breathing carries through, and I begin to regret asking the question because I’m not sure I want to hear the answer.
“That’s what she says.Why?Do you have doubts?”When I don’t answer, her sarcastic chuckle fills my ear.“It was a rumor that circulated when she first came back, you know, and no matter how many times she said her father was Sean Clark, it didn’t quite stick.Chatham loves a good drama, and you, Brooke, and Sean we’re the perfect triangle for it.I don’t know who her father is, nor should I care.”Her words sound a little slurred, as if she’s had a bit too much to drink.I push off the wall, striding for the bar, prepared to do just the same thing.Then I open a fresh bottle of whiskey and fill a glass halfway.
“I’m only here for a week and then I will have had my fill of Chatham to last a lifetime.”I tip the glass to my mouth and drain its contents in one gulp, the delicious burn chasing with it the bile that still coats my throat.
“Let’s do dinner,” she reiterates.“I’ll text you the restaurant.It’s in Harwich and the food is divine.Tomorrow at seven.”The click in my ear is deafening as I put down my phone and grab the bottle, refilling my glass.Dinner with Cassie would be a terrible idea, but so was coming here in the first place.There are answers I need and I’m hoping Cassie can give them to me.
I down that drink and decide to take the bottle with me and lay across the couch, turning on the TV so I can fill the surrounding silence.I know just who I resemble, and if I wasn’t already two drinks in, I’d care a little more.Anthony Sears can be found at the bottom of any liquor bottle.I should know, I’ve seen him there plenty of times.
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Shecamebyyourhouse?”Avery looks at me over her cup of coffee, her eyes wide with shock.“What did she want?”
“To tell me she knew who I was, and who I wasn’t.She’s adamant that I’m not her father, but I’m not convinced.We all know what Brooke was like back then.”Monica nods as Avery takes a sip from her cup.
“Who’s Brooke?”Elijah asks from his spot at the table.
“Okay, Buddy.”Avery stands from her seat and grabs Elijah.“Let’s get you ready for camp.”
“Bye, little buddy,” I say to him as he runs to me and wraps his arms around my neck.
“Will you be here when I get back, Uncle Nolan?”His little voice sounds from the crook of my neck.
“If I’m not, I promise to be here again tomorrow morning, okay?”He pulls back with a grin and nods his head emphatically before following Avery out of the kitchen.
“He loves when you’re around,” Monica says as she sets her cup on the table.“I think requesting a paternity test is good for your peace of mind.I was thinking about it last night after you left, and it’s the right thing to do.I wouldn’t put it past Brooke to hide something like that either.You have to understand why Avery and I believed her.She truly believes that she is Sean Clark’s daughter, and we had no reason to doubt her.”
“I wish you guys would have told me she existed the moment you found out,” I admit as I lean back in the chair, brushing my hair back off my forehead.“Regardless of who she said her father was or what she was doing here in Chatham, she is Brooke’s daughter and that alone should have been enough for you guys to give me a call.”
“In hindsight, I agree.”Monica nods and turns in her chair to face me, her light gray eyes filled with compassion.“We didn’t keep it from you to be malicious or deceitful.We did it because we wanted you to live your life in New York and not be affected by Brooke’s life decisions yet again.Avery was right.She knew the moment you found out, you would be all in.It would consume you and you wouldn’t stop looking for the truth until you found it.”She reaches across the table and grabs my hand, linking her fingers with mine.“Nolan, we love you.You’re Elijah’s uncle, you’re our best friend, but Brooke has had her claws in you since you were sixteen years old.That has never changed.You want a paternity test and I agree that you should have one, but to even start the process, you need Colette’s consent.”
I squeeze her fingers and bring our hands up to my mouth to place a gentle kiss on her soft skin before releasing it.Then I bring the cup of coffee to my mouth and take a sip as I mull over her words.I know Avery and Monica love me, but the fact that I was left in the dark for something so monumental feels like a betrayal.I understand her reasoning, and Avery’s, for not telling me, but it was still a decision I should have made for myself.“Do you think Colette will consent to a DNA test?”
“I don’t know, Nolan.She’s a sweet girl, but she hasn’t had the greatest childhood.Her parents died when she was young and her grandparents, on both sides, have had minimal involvement with her raising.Mitch and Brenda are who they are, they haven’t changed, and Sean’s parents have never acknowledged her.Colette can be stubborn, especially when she finds herself backed into a corner.She has no problem lashing out to defend herself, and she’s so damn tough.I hate to say it, but luckily for her, she seems to be the polar opposite of her mother.”Monica’s words aren’t shocking.She and Brooke didn’t have the best relationship in high school.If I’m being honest, Brooke didn’t have a healthy relationship with anybody, and now that I’m older and I’ve long taken her down off the pedestal I put her on when I was sixteen, I can see that she was the common denominator in all the things that were wrong in her life.I don’t enjoy speaking or thinking ill of the dead because who knows, if she had survived that car accident, what type of person she would be today?I know I’ve come a long way in the years after my mother’s death and even after Brooke’s, so I don’t like dwelling on the person she used to be.I don’t enjoy dredging up old heartbreak and regrets either because there’s nothing I can do to change it now.The thing that concerns me the most are the ripples of her life choices that are still causing waves in my life twenty years later.
“I’m going to give it a few days and then I’ll ask Colette to do the test.”I nod as I place the cup back on the table.“How long do those types of results take?A day or two?”
Monica snorts as she shakes her head, her eyes staring at me with pity.“I would say a week, if things go smoothly.I could probably try to expedite it, but I know the lab has been pretty backed up and I’m not sure what the time frames are now.I can look into it for you.”
“I do not want to be in Chatham for more than a week,” I emphasize as I take a deep breath.Just the thought of being here for longer than seven days has my palms breaking out into a sweat.If Colette agrees to the test, I know I can always go home to New York and have the results given to me over the phone, but if she is my daughter, I want to be here for her.She deserves that after living this long without a father, and I refuse to let my hatred for Chatham rob me of that.
“I have this special connection with Elijah,” Monica tells me as she folds her hands on the tabletop and looks straight ahead out the window into her backyard.“I can sense him, or there’s a piece of him that still lives inside of me, even though it’s been years since he was a part of my body.Do you have a feeling like that?Is there something nagging at you, insisting Colette is yours?”
It’s a loaded question because the short answer is yes, but the long one is I don’t know.I had a similar feeling with Brooke.“I don’t know,” I whisper, the sound filled with confusion and exasperation.
“Do you want me to call her over here for dinner and we can all speak to her together?”Monica asks as she grabs my forearm, her hand lending me the strength I seem to be missing.
“No.”I exhale and shake my head.“I don’t want her to feel bombarded.I need to do it alone.Do you know her schedule at the theater?”
“She owns the place, Nolan.I would assume she’s there every day.”Monica gets up from the table, grabbing the mugs and taking them to the sink.My elbows land on the tabletop and I steeple my hands in front of my face.“I know this is scary, Nolan, but you should consider sticking around until it’s sorted.I don’t want you to be by yourself while you worry.”
“I hate Chatham,” I complain, sounding like a brat.
“Your hatred has nothing to do with Chatham,” Monicatsks.“Trust me when I say that.I used to feel the same way, and for so long, I stayed away from here, but I was missing something the entire time.I had everything I could ever hope for: a job, a house, friends who loved me, and a man I thought loved me as well.Things were great, but I was empty inside.So fucking empty.”I turn to look at the sound of her disdain and find her leaning on the counter and staring outside.“If I hadn’t found myself pregnant when I did, I think I would have ended it all.That’s how lonely I felt in the sea of people around me.”
