Page 8 of Fighting the Tide
“What are we becoming, Nolan Sears?Are we sellouts?Are we no longer misfits?”
“Impossible.”I give her ponytail a yank.“You and I, Sanderson, we’re going to be misfits for life.”
She gives me a sad smile as the bus pulls up to the school.There’s only one high school here in Chatham, and therefore, all societal casts converge into one building whether you’re poor, middle class, or stinking rich.All of us are herded like cattle into one building.You would think with so many different tax brackets in one place, it would be complete chaos, but that’s not the case.Most of us have grown up together; same schools, same parks, same town activities.I think once we leave this building and step into our proper roles, that’s when the waters part.The rich will tip their nose upward while the poor shrivel beneath their gaze.That’s why I’m leaving to become someone.I no longer want to be known as the poor boy who lives in a shack on the beach.I know I can be something and I refuse to succumb to the fate written out for me from before I was born.
I adjust my uniform tie around my neck and fold up the cuffs of my dress shirt to my forearms as we step off the bus.We all have the same uniform.Some of us buy them secondhand while others get them brand-new, pressed and polished, but we all look the same here, a sea of maroon and gray, our school colors.It gives us a chance to feel like we can be ourselves and not our net worth.
“I should have called in sick,” Avery mutters as her hand clutches her school blouse over her stomach.“I think I’m gonna be sick.”
I follow her line of sight and see Monica in her cheerleader’s uniform with her arms around Kasen’s neck as he twirls her across the lawn.They’re the poster children of Chatham, rich, groomed, and with futures laid out in front of them.To which they only have to step forward and move along the gilded path.
“Did something happen between you and her?”I ask Avery as her head tips up to look at me, her eyes beginning to water.“Tell me.”
“Nothing happened.I’m just still hungover.”She quickly blinks away the tears and lets her nonchalant mask fall back in place.No matter how much indifference she bleeds into her features, I know what I saw.
“Okay.”I nod, letting it go, knowing that would be her wish even though it’s nagging at me.“I’ll see you at lunch.”
“Yeah.”Her voice cracks as she clears her throat, slipping her thumbs into the straps of her backpack as her scuffed Mary Janes kick at the gravel.“We’ll go over the football interview.We should probably start editing that today.”
“Sounds good.”Neither of us have a computer at home so that means a couple of hours spent here after school, but it has to be done because we’re doing a special yearbook video this year.
We both go our separate ways, me heading toward my homeroom in the east wing of the school and Avery heading to the West.The warning bell rings, making me pick up my pace and causing everyone to break apart on the front lawn as they hurry to their classes.
My heart begins to pound through my rib cage, knowing just who I share homeroom with.Brooke Eastham shows up sporadically for the first class of the day, but for some reason, I’m nervous.I haven’t seen her since Friday night and I’m not sure if my current disposition is from anxiety or anticipation.
I rush into the classroom just before the final bell rings and head to my seat in the center of the room while scanning the back row.I exhale my breath in a relieved but agonized huff.She’s not here.
I fall into my seat just as our teacher comes into the room, barking about getting our homework out, but my mind is slipping back to that lighthouse and the look of dread on Brooke’s face.I wanted to see her today, to make sure she didn’t have that vacancy clouding her hazel eyes anymore.I don’t want to think about what could’ve happened if I hadn’t chased after her on Friday night, but it’s there, hovering over everything else.
“Sorry, sir.”
I’m pulled out of my thoughts just as Monica comes into class a few minutes late, receiving a scathing look from our teacher.Her cheeks are flushed and there’s a small smile playing around her mouth.My eyes immediately flick to the doorway where I see Kasen standing there with a similar look on his face.My heart plummets as I put two and two together and I hope for the millionth time that nothing happened between Monica and Avery.
Everyone in the school knows Monica and Kasen play Russian roulette with their relationship, and even though there have been rumors of cheating, they always end up back together.The star quarterback and head cheerleader makes for every teen movie love story, but nowhere does it have the head cheerleader leaving the star quarterback for the quiet yearbook coordinator.
Kasen finally leaves the doorway, heading toward whichever class he’s late for right now, and I glance over my shoulder to the empty desk in the back corner.My stomach twists with apprehension as my fingers drum along the wooden desktop.I’m feeling antsy and still slightly hungover.I would like nothing more than to get up out of this classroom and skip school.I could take the bus to Brooke’s house, just to check in on her, to see her with my own two eyes, and know that she’s okay after the stunt she pulled on Friday.It’s hard to trust that she’s not going to repeat it without me around.
It's a hefty responsibility, holding someone’s life in your hands.Cradling it like it’s a delicate egg and hoping your hands stay steady enough to never drop it.I’ve never been faced with someone who views their existence as frivolous.I mean, if you don’t count my father, but a seventeen-year-old girl shouldn’t be hanging herself off of a fifty-foot lighthouse, preparing to throw it all away.While I was dying this weekend, I couldn’t help but repeat everything that happened in my mind, minute by minute, just to see if there was something I was missing.To have a girl put herself on a ledge like that over a guy who supposedly cheated on her many times seems a bit extreme.There’s only one conclusion I came to, maybe it wasn’t about MacNeill, or maybe he was just a piece of the problem.Maybe Brooke’s life was like a fractured mirror, pieces of sharp glass detailing a web of disappointments, and maybe MacNeill was the final crack that shattered her.
The bell rings, startling me out of my thoughts, and my eyes meet the clock, shocking me that the hour has passed so quickly.
I get up out of my seat, grabbing my bag off the floor and slinging it over my shoulder.My next class is science, and even though I like it enough, I can’t make myself concentrate.If I grab a bus into town and then walk to Brooke’s house, I’ll be there within forty-five minutes.I can check on her and be back in time for lunch.My only problem is that Avery shares science with me, and if I don’t show up, she’ll worry.
I rush out of the classroom and head toward my science class, trying to think up any excuse to tell Avery why I would be leaving school but coming back in time for lunch.The girl knows me inside and out.We’ve known each other since we were in diapers, and there’s no way I can lie to her about something like this.She would see right through me.I could tell her I’ve been worried about my mom, or I could say my dad’s on another bender, but these are everyday occurrences and I never leave school for them.I could tell her I’m not feeling well, she may believe I’m still feeling the effects of what I drank on Friday night, but to go home and come back makes no sense.
I run out into the courtyard, planning to take the shortcut across to the second building which houses the sciences, when I stop dead in my tracks.Our courtyard is lined with trees, luscious green leaves and thick trunks, telling a story of ages long ago.And there, pressed up against a tree trunk, is none other than Brooke Eastham.Her honey-blonde hair is up in a high ponytail, the gentle waves slipping down and over her shoulders with a few tendrils loose around her face.A face that is tipped back, eyes closed, and mouth slightly ajar with pleasure.A pair of large hands grips her thighs as they travel upward, dragging her school skirt in the process and revealing a pair of hot pink panties.
Her moan travels around the courtyard like a mocking echo, each one hitting me straight in the chest and driving home the fact that no matter how damaged Brooke Eastham is, she sure knows how to bounce back.Kasen’s face lands in the crook of her neck as her hands slip down his back and over his ass, her knuckles whitening as she clenches her fingers into the globes.I should move, I should turn around and go back, but there’s no avoiding the pathway I have to walk through to get to science.
The warning bell rings and they break apart, both of their chests heaving as Kasen gives her a quick smirk and bends to pick up his bag.Doors open as students flood out, all of them running toward their next classes, but I remain frozen, my eyes on Brooke as she adjusts her skirt and buttons up her blouse.Kasen gives her a heated once-over and meanders back through the crowd, a secretive smile dancing along his lips.
I know what I saw this morning, and my eyes weren’t deceiving me.Kasen was with Monica when Avery and I stepped off the bus, and again when he dropped her off at homeroom, so what was he doing out here with Brooke?
She stands there for a while, leaning against the tree, and as the courtyard begins to empty, I walk toward her.Her head lifts at the sound of my footsteps as I draw closer and her brows come together when she gets a good look at me.
“You weren’t in homeroom.”I stop in front of her and cross my arms over my chest.
“What did you think?I went back to that lighthouse and finished what I started?”She laughs, the sound forced and dark.So that’s what we’re doing now, joking about her near-death experience a mere few days ago?
