Page 72 of Fighting the Tide
“Nope,” I answer, then take a large slurp of my drink.
“Will you ever get serious with anyone?”Avery’s question throws me off, and I can’t help the tremor that skates down my arm, making the ice in my drink clink together.It’s a loaded question, one I’m not sure how to answer.If I say no, she will worry unnecessarily about me, and if I say yes, she will never leave me alone until it happens.So I give her a noncommittal shrug and stare at the blank screen ahead of us, willing the movie to start before the harder questions come.“Nolan, I’m not telling you to be with Cassie, but I think you should havesomeonein your life to share your achievements and failures with.You shouldn’t have to live alone because you think your heart is permanently broken.”
I want to tell her I don’t think my heart is permanently broken.I know it is, but the only way to make her understand is to tell her something absurd.Something like ‘Put Monica in Brooke’s casket and bury her six feet under.Then tell me if you would feel the same,’ but that’s a heartache I don’t want to put on her, even if it is only a comparison.So instead, I say, “I’m working on it, Aves.”
“You’re not getting any younger.In fact, I think that’s gray hair I see growing there at the roots.”Her fingernail pokes at my temple and I smack it away, making her laugh as she shoves another handful of popcorn into her mouth.“Do you dye your grays?”she asks around the munching of popcorn.
“I’ve been distinguished for years,” I reveal to her as she chokes on a laugh.“I’m doing all the women a favor by dying it for now, because as soon as I let that shit grow out, game over.”
“You’re disgusting.”She chuckles as she pops the last piece of hot dog in her mouth.“And delusional.What’s your body count?”Now it’s my turn to choke on kernels of popcorn as she thumps my back.“Come on, and don’t give me a fake number.I know you’re a whore.”
“I’m absolutely not answering that,” I scoff as I take another drink.
“Because you’re a whore,” she affirms and shoves more popcorn into her mouth.
“Correct,” I agree as the blank screen in front of us lights up with a message.Fifteen minutes until showtime.I look at the empty box beside us.One bag of popcorn is gone, the hot dogs eaten, and my drink is nearly finished.“I’m going to go to the bathroom and then grab another drink.Do you want more popcorn?”
“If you’re buying, I want it.”Avery snickers before she takes one of my nachos and dips it into the cheese.
“You’re a fucking monster,” I growl at her and get out of the car, making my way over to the row of porta potties.I don’t like the idea of pissing in one of these, but luckily I can stand.I’ll laugh later when Avery has to plop her ass on the disgusting seat.
I step out of the porta potty as Kasen steps out of the one beside mine.When our eyes lock, I hold in a groan as his face turns smug.“Here on a date, Sears?”he asks as he slips his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.
“No.Just here with Avery.”I head to the table beside the porta potties and cover my hands in sanitizer, crinkling my nose when I realize Kasen isn’t doing the same.
“Are you going to ask me who I’m here with?”His taunting voice hasn’t changed since high school.He’s still the annoying prick who would fuck anything with tits.
“No need,” I tell him over my shoulder as I head to the popcorn stand.“I saw you here with Cassie.”
“Listen.It was her idea.She said something about needing to be wined and dined because it’s been a while.”It’s an attack, one he’s hoping I’ll react to, but what Kasen doesn’t understand is that I legitimately don’t give a fuck.
“Sweet, man.”I order my popcorn and pay for the bag, turning to find Kasen still standing there, a smug look lining his features.So I walk by and clap him on the shoulder, giving him a wide grin.“Have a good night.”I don’t get rid of him that easily because he follows me back to the car as Cassie steps out of the truck, her eyes wide with disbelief.
“Nolan!”she calls out, and this time I do groan out loud.I tap on the passenger side window, watching as Avery rolls it down, trying her damnedest to keep in a smile.Then I turn back around to face Cassie and Kasen, her face filled with shock and his with arrogance.
“Hey.”I wave, once again plastering a fake smile on my face.
“It’s not what it looks like,” she begins as Kasen whips around to glare at her.“We’re just friends.”
“It’s all good,” I assure her as I walk around the front of my car, heading to the driver’s side.“Enjoy your movie.”
“No, Nolan, wait!”Her footsteps sound over the asphalt as she runs forward, stopping in front of the car as she peers into the windshield and sees Avery.Her eyes narrow and become filled with anger, her fingers curling into fists at her sides.“You know what?Never mind,” she says and turns around to head back to the truck.“Enjoy your date.”
Kasen chuckles as he watches her stomp back to the truck, then turns to look at me as I open the driver’s side door of my car.“She’s always been a firecracker, that one.I thought I’d let you know that she’s been spending the last few nights at my house.”His exaggerated wink has bile rushing up from the pit of my stomach, threatening to expel everything I’ve eaten.Just the thought of him naked is enough to make me want to leave.
“Congratulations.”I nod and then get back in the car, finding Avery leaning against the dashboard with her head in her hand as she watches everything unfold.
“I think Cassie forgot that I’m gay,” she finally says, making me laugh out loud.“And I think Kasen wore his jockstrap too tight in high school and it cut off the blood circulation to his brain.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works—”
“Maybe that’s why all his hair is falling out too,” she cuts me off as she continues.“But, hey!If that’s Cassie’s thing, then good for her!”
The movie starts and Avery falls quiet as I lean back in my seat, the food between us forgotten.I can’t help but hope Cassie has truly moved on, and if it’s with Kasen, I’m fine with that.
It’s two days later when I see Cassie coming out of the grocery store.I’m sitting across the street, in the parking lot of the theater, feeling masochistic as I stare at that back door.I don’t know what exactly compelled me to sit here for the last hour, but a part of me is glad that I’ve faced it before I ride out of here.It may be the last time I ever do.
I get out of the car and jog across the street as Cassie pushes a cart toward her car.“Hey, Cass!”I call out, making her pause in the middle of the parking lot.Her face falls as I get closer, and I feel bad that my presence makes her uneasy.It only proves to me I made the right decision by letting her go.
