Page 5 of Fighting the Tide
“Is that Brooke Eastham?”Avery exclaims, and I hear her clothes rustle as she quickly stands from the log.“She’s coming here to our beach!”I can hear the fight in her tone and can sense the tension radiating off of her body in thick waves, nearly suffocating me out here on the wide-open beach.
“Avery, sit down.”I try to make a grab at her, but then I’m stunned into silence when I hear at least a dozen voices all combining and blending in with the sound of music coming from a boom box.I can feel Avery’s stare as Brooke screams out my name again, and it just makes me want to curl up into the fetal position and roll myself into the fucking fire.
“Did you invite them?”Betrayal.That’s all I’m hearing.The words don’t register, but her tone is infused with betrayal.
I slowly stand from the log and turn to face Avery, hoping I have enough time to put out the inferno that’s building inside of her before the others get here.“Yes, but only because something terrible happened to her today and I felt bad.”
“Something terrible happened to Brooke?”Her hands land on my chest as she gives me a hard shove, and if I wasn’t drunk I would have been able to withstand it, but after four beers I find my ass hitting the sand with a loudhumph.“Something terrible happened to me, Nolan.”She stands over me with her hands on her hips.“This is our spot.”
“I know, Avery,” I say as I stare up at her.“It just sort of happened.I’m sorry.”
She looks over her shoulder back toward the others and then looks back down at me as a slow smile curves on her lips.“Looks like they’re bringing more alcohol, so I’ll forgive you this once, but never ever do that to me again.”Thankfully she’s drunk and feeling forgiving tonight.She holds out her hand toward me, a sort of peace offering for shoving me to my ass in the first place, and I take it because I don’t want to fight with her.My large hand curls around her dainty one as she helps me to my feet just as Brooke comes to stand on the other side of the log.
“Did you fall down?”One hand lands on her hip while the other clutches a bottle of vodka which Avery grabs quickly.My eyes travel up and over the tube top Brooke’s wearing, the bright peach color setting off the deep golden color of her skin.She’s thrown her hair up into a messy bun on top of her head, a few blonde strands escaping the confines and blowing around her face.She has a joint tucked on top of her ear, and when my eyes meet hers, I’m almost startled to find that she doesn’t have any makeup on.No blue eyeshadow, no bright pink lips, just her lightly freckled cheeks and nose, and those big hazel eyes framed by brown lashes.
“Yeah, I tripped.”I dust the sand off my pants as a few others make their way over.My stomach twists when I see it’s a few guys from the football team, some cheerleaders, and basically everyone Avery and I tend to stay away from.I turn to find my best friend and provide an escape because I don’t mind leaving if she’s feeling uncomfortable.If she’s feeling even an ounce of what I’m feeling right now, we can leave, but what feels like my one-hundredth shock of the night, I find Avery sitting on a log, gulping vodka straight out of the bottle while sitting with the head cheerleader, Monica.“Okay, then,” I whisper to myself and sit on the log across from them, the fire crackling between us.
Brooke plants her ass beside me as a few of the football players gather around the fire.Someone else throws a couple more pieces of driftwood into the pit as others turn up the music and begin distributing bottles of beer.I keep my eye on Avery as she nurses that bottle and when she tips her head back to laugh at something Monica says, I realize she’s in her forget mode.I’ve only seen it a few times in our lifelong friendship, it’s when she drowns herself in alcohol to bury whatever problem she’s feeling at that moment, and even though she’s forgiven me for tonight, tomorrow morning will be a different story.
The heady scent of marijuana wafts under my nose and I find Brooke putting the joint in her mouth and the flame of a lighter burning the tip into a cherry red.She takes a deep inhale and then squints at me over the smoke as she offers me the joint.I grab it without much thought and then laugh as she chokes on her exhale, her eyes watering as her lips tip up into a smirk.“Let’s see how well you do, poor boy,” she taunts me with a little nudge to my shoulder.
I’m not innocent.I’ve smoked weed a couple of times, and even though it was fun, it wasn’t really my thing.But with four beers warming my insides, and Brooke’s taunt echoing in my ears, I bring the joint to my lips and take a deep inhale.My eyes find Avery’s from across the fire as she watches me closely.I hold the smoke in my lungs, letting the burn emanate out through my chest as I hand the joint back to Brooke.I finally exhale and the fire rips from my mouth as I choke and sputter on the acrid smoke.“Shit,” I gasp as I pound a fist to my chest.Brooke cackles loudly, the sound echoing out over the water as I continue to choke with tears running down over my cheeks.
“Shit.Here, man.”Kasen, the quarterback of the football team, hands me a beer.I take it and tip the bottle back, letting the cool liquid soothe the embers still burning in my chest.Once the coughing ceases, I notice Brooke watching me as she takes another drag, the corners of her mouth still tipped upward.
“Did you find that funny?”I ask her as she nods and exhales.I can still see the sadness in her eyes, but I’m glad to see that she’s pushing through it.It makes me happy that she’s here and enjoying herself because of me.“You’re looking better,” I observe as I take another swig from the bottle of beer.Her face transforms into agony, making me regret saying what I did.It was like an instant reminder and she succumbed back to how she was feeling before I invited her.“Shit, Brooke.I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”she mumbles, and I can barely hear the words over the decibel of the music playing.“You didn’t cheat on me.”I’m relieved to see the bottle of vodka has been relinquished from Avery’s grasp and is making its way around the fire, but the second Brooke trades out her joint for that bottle, a dark premonition hits me in the pit of my stomach.She tips the bottle to her mouth and begins to chug.I realize then that Brooke isn’t here to have fun, she’s here to also drown her problems and bury them away, but where Avery has some restraint and self-preservation, Brooke does not.
I pry the bottle from her fingers while she’s having an in-depth conversation with Kasen about a class they share, and hide it between my legs.A few moments later, I’m nearly choked as the crisp air I’m breathing is replaced by a strong vanilla musk.A warm body presses against my right side and I turn to find Cassie, another cheerleader in my grade.Her curly, blonde hair is loose and wild around her face and her porcelain skin looks nearly translucent in front of the fire and under the moonlight.Her hands wrap around my bicep as her big blue eyes peer up into my face.She’s drunk or stoned or both, I don’t know, but her fingers begin to rub along my sweater as she moans, “Is this cashmere?”
“Cashmere!”Brooke laughs, working her way into my conversation with Cassie.“This is Nolan Sears, the poorest boy in all of Chatham.”Brooke’s words hit me in the chest, each one like a spear to my heart.It’s no secret I’m poor, and maybe I should be grateful because, for a little while there, I was forgetting who I was and just who I’m sitting with.
“Oh, never mind, then.”Cassie giggles.“It’s probably just polyester, but it is soft.”Her hands are still wrapped around my bicep as I reach between my legs and grab the vodka bottle.Maybe Avery was right, I should never have invited Brooke here, and with that thought, I tip the bottle up to my mouth and let the burning liquid scorch its way down to my stomach.Fuck Brooke, fuck Chatham, and fuck my father and his alcoholic genes.
Once the bottle is drained, I let it drop to the sand, thethudreverberating through me as my muscles become lax and my mind erased of every worry.I’m no longer the poorest person sitting at this fire, my last name isn’t Sears, and my crumbling cottage isn’t just a couple hundred yards away.With that courage, I turn to find Cassie’s head against my shoulder and her soft curls tickling my nose.No longer does her vanilla scent turn my stomach, instead, I find myself hardening as I dip my head farther into her curls to take a deep breath.Vanilla and hibiscus, a tantalizing mix that’s making my mouth water, and as if she can sense everything I’m feeling, her head tips up to look me in the eyes as her tongue slips along her lips, leaving behind a glistening trail.I’ve never wanted to taste something so badly, to slip my tongue into her vanilla pot mouth and taste every inch of her.
I inch down, bringing my face closer as our eyes flick over each other’s features.When her mouth opens, I lose every inhibition and seal my lips to hers.Her moan travels down to the pit of my stomach, twisting and coiling it tight, as I part her lips with my tongue and slip it inside her heat.I’ve kissed a girl or two, but never have I felt this way.The overwhelming urge to lift her up off this log and find a quiet space on the beach is almost too compelling, and when her tongue tangles with mine, I just about do it, when Brooke’s words crash through the thickening fog.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
We scramble apart as if icy cold water has been thrown on the both of us.Her with a gasp and me with a groan of irritation.I turn to find Brooke on her feet, her hands on her hips, and her face a mask of anger.Her cheeks are red and her lips are pulled back taut over her teeth.“What?”I ask, making the fiery depths of anger in her eyes burn even hotter.
“Fuck you both,” she snaps and turns to run down the beach.I’m not sure what I did wrong, but my chest suddenly tightens as my body erupts in a cold chill.I invited her here and ended up making out with her best friend, and all on a day when the worst thing happened to her.All she wanted to do was forget and I caused more problems.
“Just let her go.”Cassie curls back into my side, her hand gripping the hem of my sweater as her long acrylic nails tease the skin of my stomach.“Don’t give in to her.Brooke is so used to always getting what she wants.”Cassie’s bottom lip pokes out in a pout and I immediately feel more disgusting.I didn’t want to make out with anyone, that’s not why I invited Brooke to the beach, that’s not how I wanted her to forget what happened to her today.
I shrug Cassie off my arm and look across the fire to find Avery giggling with Monica.An unlikely duo, but there’s nothing normal about tonight.I just hope my best friend doesn’t get her heart broken in the process.It’s no secret that Monica and Kasen are on and off again, and the last time I checked, Monica wasn’t into girls.I’ve already ruined one person’s night and I’m not about to make a habit of it.
I stand up as Cassie huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, and as much as I was into her a mere five minutes ago, that feeling has passed.I don’t owe her an explanation and I don’t give her one as I step over the log and start to follow Brooke’s footsteps in the sand.The deep divots from her sandals is proof of how hard she ran to get away from me, to get away from the fire, and that only makes me feel more terrible.
I look up from the sand and ahead toward the old lighthouse, the light inside not nearly as bright as it used to be when I was a kid.The red paint has been fading over the years and the white cap now looks more gray during the days.It’s been years since I’ve come to the lighthouse, and even though the wooden fence that’s built around its perimeter is lined with signs of caution, kids still explore inside.
The structure is in disrepair after years of neglect, and where it once used to be a beacon of light for Chatham, it’s now nothing more than a hazard.When I realize Brooke’s footprints head directly for that lighthouse, my heart begins to crash against my rib cage.Walking in the sand while inebriated is already hard enough, but then add anxiety on top of that and the need to be quick, to coordinate my feet to move one after the other, becomes nearly impossible.Something is urging me forward though, grabbing my heart in my chest and yanking on it like an anchor, hauling me into the depths of the ocean before dragging me along the sand toward that beacon of light.
I pick up the pace and end up stumbling a few times, my hands shooting out before my face can plant in the sand.How did Brooke move so fast?How did she get through the sand as if she weighed nothing more than a feather in the wind?It has to be the tolerance she’s built up over the years of partying.A breeze skates along my face, chilling the sweat that’s dotting my brow and filling my lungs with the briny scent of the ocean.Despite that, its icy edge does nothing to soothe the apprehension that’s filling inside me.I feel like I’m going to be too late, but I don’t know for what.It’s just that dark premonition haunting me as the anchor around my heart grows taut.
I begin to jog, my clumsy limbs so uncoordinated and my breath leaving my lungs in heavy pants, and still my heart begins to squeeze, the pressure becoming too much.My fingers grip into the material of my sweater over my chest as I continue, my lungs burning with the exertion as I try to push myself harder, faster.Suddenly, I’m propelled forward, my body flinging through the air and slamming into the sand with an impact that jars me all the way to my soul.The contents of my stomach threaten to spill from my mouth as I slowly turn over to my back and look up at the night sky.It’s nearly cloudless and the stars almost feel like they’re ready to engulf me as they slowly lose focus and begin to swirl.I sit up with a groan and look ahead to find a piece of driftwood sticking out of the sand, the culprit for the crime of tripping me.Its jagged edge is barely illuminated by the lighthouse behind me, but it does remind me of the mission I was on before I was cruelly interrupted.
