Page 34 of Fighting the Tide
“I’ll Be” - Edwin McCain
“Semi-Charmed Life” - Third Eye Blind
“Scar Tissue” - Red Hot Chili Peppers
“I Will Remember You” - Sarah McLachlan
“Kryptonite” - 3 Doors Down
“Only God Knows Why” - Kid Rock
“I Hope You Dance” - Lee Ann Womack
“Broadway” - The Goo Goo Dolls
Chapter Fifteen
New York - April 1997
I’vebeeninNewYork for ten months, and it’s been a bit of a culture shock.The quiet town of Chatham is like a walk in the park compared to the rush of New York.At first, I was overwhelmed just by moving from my dorm room to the school, let alone venturing into the city for a night out.It took some time, but I’ve acclimatized, and now, I can’t imagine being anywhere else at this point in my life.I thought I would spend my life in Chatham, never leaving home, but being here has shown me just how big this world is and I don’t want to miss any of it.
Christmas came and went, and even though I was missing home, I couldn’t bear to go back.Though, Mom sent me a card with money inside.I don’t dare disrespect her and send it back because I know she can’t afford it, even though it was only a hundred dollars, and she left me a letter saying she took my dad back because he had cleaned himself up.I worry about her believing he’s truly sober and getting her heart broken again.Another reason I couldn’t bring myself to go back.
Soon after the holidays, I got my first proper job at a local news station, WTRV.I’m considered a gopher right now, but that doesn’t matter because I’m so damn excited to even be given a chance.One of my professors at Columbia put in a good word for me, and miraculously, I was hired on the spot, bypassing the usual intern position.It also provided me with the excuse to miss the holidays at home and spring break.
I thought I would be able to skip over Easter weekend, but my mother wasn’t hearing any of it.If I didn’t get my ass home for Easter, she would make the trip here and I know how much of a dent that would leave in her funds.
My suitcase lays open on my bed, still empty, with only an hour to go before I have to be at the train station.My heart is pounding through my chest as I think of being back in Chatham and my palms slick over with sweat at the thought of possibly seeing Brooke.It’s been nearly a year and we haven’t tried to contact one another.Not that I ever expected her to make the effort and not with the way she broke up with me.
Avery has been in Boston and even though she’s been spending the holidays and breaks at home, she’s kept her promise and never once brought up Brooke when we speak to one another.One of the bright spots about going home is seeing my best friend.It’s been too long since we’ve been face-to-face.Phone calls just don’t cut it.
I begin to pull clothes out of my drawers; underwear, T-shirts, a few pairs of shorts, a couple of pairs of pants, a sweater, and then I’m throwing in toiletries without really paying attention to what’s going into the suitcase.My mind is far off, and to be honest, as much as I’m anxious about seeing Brooke, I can’t deny there’s a little bit of excitement.There’s no denying that we’re toxic.I wouldn’t be able to argue my way out of that to save my life, but I feel like our love is the antidote to the venom our relationship creates.It doesn’t make any sense, and I know how unhealthy it sounds.There’s no way I would speak this out loud to anybody.At the thought of my eyes drifting over her body, taking in that mischievous smile and the cunning twinkle of her hazel eyes, I can feel myself softening, slowly anticipating the second I see her for the first time in ten months.If she’s even back in Chatham.Maybe she decided to go to school in the end.
I zip up my luggage and look around the room.I may have been neat and tidy when I lived at home, given that my room was the couch and the living room, but here, where I have my own private space with no one’s interference, I’m a fucking pig.I make sure to look around, ensuring I don’t have takeout containers sitting out or instant noodles molding in a bowl.I mentally pat myself on the back when I find a few empty beer bottles and one rotting container of dim sum kicked under my bed.I call that a win.
After taking care of those, I look out of my window to see the taxi I called waiting out front.The guy is leaning against the car with a cigarette in his mouth, and I rush to my door, only to look one more time over my shoulder, reminding myself for the next four days that I won’t have the luxury of this private room.
I close the door behind me and head for the stairs, taking the two flights down to the first floor.I can’t complain about my room here on campus.I get to be alone as one of the few freshmen with a single room.Apparently, my roommate never showed up, and they weren’t replaced.The thought of having to share now is not appealing at all.I exit through the side door and make my way around to the front, watching as the taxi driver straightens, tossing his cigarette to the ground.
“Are you Nolan?”
“Last I checked.”I give him a smile as he pops open the trunk and I throw my suitcase inside.
“Fancy school here.”He jerks his chin up toward the building as I get into the passenger side of the vehicle because I hate sitting in the back seat if I don’t have to.
When he’s in the driver’s seat and gives me a look, I shrug my shoulders.“It’s nice.”
“You’re visiting home for the long weekend?”I kind of despise chatty taxi drivers.I get their job is solitary and a bit boring, but some of them really need to learn to read the room.
“Yeah.”I nod slowly, holding in the scoff threatening to spill out.Then I turn and look out of the passenger window as he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.
“So, where are you from?”I roll my eyes, hoping he can’t see my reflection, and turn to look at him as he points his thumb over his shoulder.“Can’t be from around here if you’re leaving with a suitcase.”
Observant.“No.I’m not from New York.I’m actually from Cape Cod.”Once again, I look out the window, hoping that’s the end of the conversation, but a groan nearly escapes my mouth when he whistles under his breath.
“Cape Cod.That’s where the rich people go on vacation.No wonder you’re in this swanky school.”His fingers begin to drum along the steering wheel as he stops at a red light.
“The tourists that vacation in Cape Cod are rich, and yeah, some people who live there are too, but most of us are pretty average.”I stare at his profile as he dramatically nods his head, giving me the impression that he doesn’t quite believe everything I’m saying.Not that I care.I just want to get to the train station, and if I’m being honest, I just want the weekend to be done and over with quickly.
