Page 25 of Fighting the Tide
“On a full ride too.”She nods as she bends down to wrap her arms around my neck.“You did it, Nolan.You really did it.”Her words are filled with pride as her eyes begin to tear up.
A few minutes later, I’m walking to the spot where I’m meeting Avery, my thoughts a jumble in my head.I’m so excited to change the trajectory of my life, but I’m also sad that I will be away from home.My mom’s face floats through my mind, along with Avery’s, and finally Brooke’s.Avery will be attending Boston University and will be close enough to home to come back here on the weekends, and I would assume Brooke’s family could pay her way into any school she wanted.Even though they won’t be here, I’ll feel like I’m missing out nonetheless.
“Hey,” Avery cuts into my thoughts, her brows bunched together as she looks up into my face.“Are you okay?”
I want to tell her that I was accepted, that my dream is finally coming to fruition, but for some reason, I can’t articulate what I’m feeling.“Yeah,” I say instead as we walk to the bus stop.“When did you get your acceptance to BU?”
“A month ago.”She stands in front of me, her thumbs tucked into the straps of her backpack as we wait for the bus.“You’ll get in, Nolan.Don’t stress about it.”
I open my mouth to tell her I got my acceptance when the school bus pulls up and Avery turns away to head inside.I murmur a good morning to Miss Daisy, knowing I should at least tell her, but for some reason, the words aren’t there.I thought I would be ecstatic about this, that I would be dying to tell everyone, but I’m not.I actually only want to tell one person.The one who let me pick a camcorder from her father’s stash, not really caring what it was worth, only that it would help me with my future.I want to tell the girl who filmed me walking along the beach or bike riding in town.It doesn’t feel right telling anyone else before Brooke.
Yet, I don’t want to talk to the girl, not after what she tried to confess to me.I’m not in love with Brooke, and I feel bad for not reciprocating those feelings, if that’s what she’s truly feeling.I think, much like myself, Brooke now feels lonely without me there.We were inseparable for a while last year, and now that we’re back in the same atmosphere, we’re feeling the loss of one another.
I step off the bus behind Avery and grab her backpack, pulling her aside.“I got in,” I blurt out as her eyes widen.“I found out this morning.Full ride.”
“Nolan!”she screams and jumps at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.“You’re going to Columbia!”
I stagger a few paces as I hug her back and try to find my footing from Avery’s assault when her voice floats over our heads.“Congrats, Sears.I guess you’ll be leaving us all behind to become some big-shot journalist.”
I turn to find Brooke leaning against a tree as Avery pulls back to give her a scathing look.“Go away, Eastham.”I’m yanked toward the school and away from Brooke as she watches us with a sad look on her face.I force myself to turn away, to break the look of pleading, and walk into the school with an excited Avery.
“We have to do a piece in the paper for this!”Avery exclaims as we head to homeroom.“I’ll get started on it today.”
“Let’s not.”I shake my head, only to be shoved into the lockers.
“It’s not every day someone from Chatham gets into Columbia on a full scholarship, Nolan Sears!”she chastises me and I grin with a small shrug of my shoulders.
“Fine.”I give in because I don’t have the energy to fight her on it.
“I’ll write the piece today and we’ll meet after fourth in the yearbook room.Sound good?”Her eyes are glowing with pride, and even though I hate being the center of attention, this is the happiest I have seen Avery in a long time.I don’t want to take that away from her.
“Yeah.”I throw my arm over her shoulders as we walk into the classroom.“Make me sound amazing, okay?”
With thirty minutes until the bus comes, I rush into the yearbook office to find it empty.Avery isn’t here and when I head to the computer, I find a note from her stuck to the screen.
Sorry!
I had to leave early, it’s about Darren.
I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.
Avery
“Knock, knock.”
The groan that leaves my mouth is out before I can stop it and I turn to find Brooke leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest.“Are you following me?”
“We go to the same school.”Her brow quirks as she looks around.
“What about the beach?”I cross my own arms over my chest and lean against the table as I question her.
A pink blush steals across her cheeks as she steps into the room and closes the door, sealing us in here together.I can smell the scent of her vanilla perfume as it tries but fails to mask the nicotine underneath it.I once hated the smell of cigarettes, but right now, I almost welcome it.It feels like that void inside of me is closing bit by bit.“I miss you.I miss us.I know I fucked up, Nolan.I know what I did that day at my house was shitty, but I thought you regretted what we did.”
“Did you know the next day was my birthday?”The sight of her face falling and the shame rolling off of her is satisfying, telling me I’m needing her to feel the pain I felt that day.“Not everyone has a car at their disposal, or money to hop on a bus across town.”
“I didn’t know it was your birthday—”
“Would you have bought me a cake?Like I did for you?I ditched my best friend that night so you wouldn’t have to be alone.”She takes a few tentative steps toward me, her eyes shining with moisture as she bites into her lip to keep it from trembling.
