Page 24 of Fighting the Tide
“First, I want to apologize for how I treated you at my house, it was disgusting.”I don’t look up at her as I stab a few fries with my fork.I’m afraid I’ll cave the minute I look into her eyes.“I was still getting over being ghosted after what we did in the lighthouse.”
Without looking up I say, “Yeah, sorry about that.I just didn’t have the means to drive to your house every day.”I know I sound like an asshole, but it’s the truth.I’ve had all summer to think it over and I’ve come to the realization that I should’ve made the effort, but she knew getting there in that week would be hard for me.It was just a week.
“I became irrational that week and I thought you were like the others, but I know you’re not, Nolan.You’re not like the others and that’s why I fell in lo—”
“I gotta go.”I quickly rise, no longer caring about the wasted food, and rush out of the cafeteria as she calls out to me.I must’ve imagined all that because there was no way Brooke Eastham was telling me she’s in love with me.
I make it to third-period and find Avery in a seat, her bag saving the empty desk beside hers.I can tell by the blank mask she’s wearing on her face that she doesn’t want to talk and I inwardly groan because I need to tell someone what just happened.
The period goes by agonizingly slow, and when the bell rings at last, I turn in my seat to face her.“I need to tell you something.”
“Please, nothing about Monica.”She shakes her head.“I don’t care what happened after I left the cafeteria.”
“It’s not about Monica.It’s about Brooke.”Her head snaps up at my words as her eyes widen.
“Did she attack you over nasty, gravy-covered fries?”she gasps as she puts her books in her backpack.
“Worse.”I swallow down the fear of saying it out loud and look around me, finding no one in listening distance before whispering, “She almost said she was in love with me.”
“What?”Her shriek has the teacher and a few lingering students looking over at us as I shush her.“How does shealmostsay that?”
“I fucking ran away before she could finish her sentence.”I stand from the desk and swing my bag over my shoulder.“I ran like my ass was on fire.”
Avery’s first snort has me turning to find her fighting to hold in a laugh, but as soon as she sees the outraged look on my face, she loses the battle and bends over with a loud cackle.Her laugh reverberates around the classroom as I continue to look at her with horror, embarrassment flooding my insides.“It’s… so f–fucking funny…” she attempts to speak around her laughs.“I w–want… my p–person to say… that to me… and… you r–run from it!”
I can see she’s on the edge of mania as her face crumbles from humor to despair and I grab her arm as the first few teardrops fall and haul her out of the classroom.“Let’s go to the courtyard.”I pull her along as she hiccups with the force of holding in her sobs.As soon as we step outside, she falters and I guide her behind a tree to give her the privacy she needs to erupt.
“It’s n–not… fair,” she sobs into my chest as my own heart breaks.“I w–want that… It’s a–all… I… want.”
“Brooke isn’t my person, Aves,” I try to soothe her as I smooth my hand over her hair.“She’s saying it to try and lure me back in.”It all feels like a never-ending game with Brooke, and I can’t even begin to understand what was going through her mind when she attempted to say those words.
“I hate it here,” she growls into my sweater.“I hate Chatham.”Avery has always had a love-hate relationship with this place.She loves the town but hates that she has to hide who she is.Me on the other hand, I can’t wait to make something of myself outside of Chatham so I can come back as more than the poor kid.
Chapter Eleven
November 1995
Iadmitit,Iam a coward.I’ve spent the last two months ducking through hallways, slipping into classrooms, and even one time diving into the girl’s washroom to avoid being seen, all to escape Brooke Eastham.She’s dead set on finishing the conversation I ran away from on the first day of school and I’m just not ready yet.
It doesn't help that her best friend, Cassie, is in American History with me and we had the unfortunate occurrence of assigned seats, and somehow she was assigned the desk beside mine.At first, she was easy to ignore, but she also has the perseverance of a dog after a bone.
In the last few weeks, I learned a lot about the summer she and Brooke had.Pool parties, beach parties, and a bunch of activities that one wouldn’t partake in if she was indeed in love.According to Cassie, Sean Clark spent more time at Brooke’s house than he did in his own rented cottage, and David MacNeill was a frequent visitor as well.
I don’t blame Brooke for having fun this summer, nor do I hold any sort of grudge against her for hanging out with other people.I just don’t appreciate being kept in the dark.Brooke Eastham is so used to getting her own way that she will go to extremes when her plans don’t work out for her.I won’t be her winter stand-in until the guys she really wants show up in the summer.I won’t be used and treated like shit when something better comes along in her eyes.
Things are getting a bit out of hand though.Last night, Avery had been walking along the beach toward my house when she said she was sure she saw Brooke sitting at our fire pit, smoking a cigarette and crying.I’m not sure what has her so attached to me now, but I know any friendship we strike up again will only have an expiration date.
“Nolan!”Mom calls as she comes in the front door.“There was a large envelope in the mailbox for you.”Her eyes are shining bright with excitement as she rushes over, dropping the thick bundle on the table.“It’s from Columbia.”
I nearly choke on my cereal and push the bowl away as I stare at the manila envelope.It’s thick, it must be an acceptance package.Ascholarshipacceptance letter.“I can’t open it.”I shake my head as I force myself to swallow down the food in my mouth.“I can’t do it.”
Mom doesn’t hesitate to rip open the package and pull out a stack of papers.Her eyes skim over the front page, her lips moving as she reads, and I stare at them, trying desperately to figure out what she’s reading.“Hmm,” she finally hums as she flips the first page over.
“Mom!”I exclaim as my heart lodges itself somewhere in my throat.“What does it say?”
“I can’t quite figure it out.”She tips her head to the side as she flips another page.“I don’t know what all this college stuff means.”
I grab the pile of papers out of her hands and read the first page, my heart pounding against my rib cage in a furious beat.“Dear Nolan Sears, we would like to offer you a full scholarship to Columbia University for Broadcasting beginning next September 1997.”I look up at my mom as her tears skate down over her cheeks.“I got in,” I whisper in disbelief.
