Page 23 of Fighting the Tide
“Hey.”I wrap my hand around Avery’s forearm to stop her just before we head inside.She turns to look up at me, her brow inching upward.“Do you think friends can be soulmates?”
“Romantically?”She tips her head, causing her ponytail to cascade over her shoulder, the deep brown now lined with highlights of mahogany from the summer sun.
“No.Not always romantically.Like you and I.Do you think we’re soulmates?Were we always meant to be best friends?”I tighten my hold on her arm as her eyes flick between mine, the worry deep in her irises hard to miss.
“Are you okay, Nolan?I feel like I’m missing something here.”I release her arm and give her ponytail a yank, forcing a smile to my lips.
“Yeah, I’m fine.Looks like we have homeroom together this year.What else?”The best thing about having Avery as a best friend is the fact that she doesn’t pry.She pulls open the door and we walk inside as she grabs her schedule from her bag.
“After homeroom, I have math, then it’s lunch, then chemistry, and finally English Lit.”I pull my own schedule out of my bag and give her a wide smile.“We have every class together except English Lit.I have American History last period.”We make it to homeroom and I step inside, my eyes immediately skimming over the room and each head, looking for waves of honey-blonde, but she’s not in this class.I don’t even know what I would do if she were.Maybe a part of me just wants to make sure she’s okay because it’s become a routine of sorts, but I don’t necessarily want to talk to her.
That day at her house, the day before my birthday, left me with internal scars.When I think about the way she looked at me and the words that came from her mouth, it’s like reliving the pain all over again.I made her a promise long ago, that if she were to put herself in a position of self-harm then she would be dragging me there with her, and I plan to keep that promise.Just from a distance.
She’s not in my math class either, and when the midday bell rings for lunch, my palms begin to sweat.I haven’t seen anyone yet.Not Cassie, not Kasen, not even Monica, and when I turn to find Avery chewing her nails, I know we’re both feeling anxious about walking into that cafeteria.
“I can feel your stress!”Avery snaps at me as she throws her bag into the locker.“We haven’t seen any of them because they’re probably not taking academic courses.”Suddenly, everything makes sense.Avery and I are taking advanced classes this year in preparation for college, and acceptance of these courses are based on your GPA.I don’t know about the others, but Brooke wouldn’t have been able to take these courses, just based on the fact that she was barely in school last year.
“They’re probably going to be in the cafeteria.”I close my locker door and turn to find her leaning against hers, that thumbnail back in her mouth.“Are you gonna be okay?”
“Are you?”She turns on me, dropping her hand from her mouth.“If Brooke is in there, Nolan, are you going to be strong enough to ignore her?”
“As long as you stay with me.”I hold out my arm and she comes forward, leaning into my side as I drop it down around her shoulders.“We got this, Sanderson.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”She nods, but the closer we get to those cafeteria doors, the thicker the tension is around us.
As soon as we walk inside, the noise of chatter and laughter hits us and my arm around her shoulders tightens.I guide her toward the lunch line, not letting myself scan the room or look for her, and I don’t give Avery a chance to either.We stand in line, both of us facing the trays of steaming food, and I once again thank Mom’s hidden stash for making it possible to have warm meals now during the day.
“Do you think they’re in here?”Avery whispers, her thumb back in her mouth.
“Who cares?”I shrug and order fries with gravy and a soda.I care, I actually care a lot, and with the way my stomach is flipping and turning over, I don’t even know how I’m going to keep down these fries.
Avery orders the same, even though I know she hates gravy but that’s how far she’s disassociated herself from what’s happening, and we head to our usual table in the back corner.I keep my eyes straight ahead, but my heart crashes when I hear Kasen’s voice as he talks about this year’s football team.Avery’s head snaps to the side and then she curses under her breath as she stumbles, her tray precariously tipping forward.She rights herself and looks straight ahead, getting to our table and putting down the tray before sitting stiffly in her seat as I slide in across from her, my brow up in question.
“Monica’s at the table with Kasen of course,” she says quietly as she picks up her fork and stabs a fry.“I should have known they would get back together.”She stuffs the fry in her mouth and then scrunches up her face, finally looking down at her tray.“Fuck, I got gravy.”
The anxiety that’s been weighing heavy on my shoulders dissipates as I watch her face sour with disappointment, and I start to laugh.Not just a quiet chuckle, no, I cackle loudly and even though I can feel so many eyes on me, I can’t stop.Soon enough, Avery joins in, letting her fork hit the tray as she covers her mouth.We’ve been so worried about everyone else around us instead of just enjoying the first day of our senior year, our final year of high school.
She takes a long sip of her soda as her eyes roll and I can’t help but laugh again.When we finally calm down, I clear my throat and let my eyes flick toward the football table.That’s when our eyes clash, blue against hazel, but what I see in their depths is shocking.There’s no hatred, no anger, just pure longing, and the sight steals the breath from my lungs.
“Oh shoot, you did it.”Averytsksas she reaches over, her fingers slapping against my cheek and pushing my face back to look at her.“Trust me, stud, that mare has been around the pasture one too many times.Every stud’s had a go at her.”
“Don’t talk about her like that, Avery.”I shake my head as she shrugs her shoulders.“I wouldn’t let anyone talk about you like that either.”
“Well, I haven’t been around the pasture,” she retorts as she brushes her hair out of her face.
“Only because you’ve had your eye stuck on one mare your whole life.”I stab the fries on my tray and shovel them into my mouth as Avery’s face falls.
“I’m an idiot.”She shakes her head and pushes her barely-touched fries aside.“Each time, I think it’s going to be different, but it never is.She always ends up back with him.”
“She’s either in denial about what she feels for you, or she’s in love with him and you’re the person she can have fun with.”I decide to give it to her straight, because the thought of Avery hanging onto Monica for the rest of the school year is daunting.“Don’t waste another year, Aves.”
“I need to use the bathroom.”She stands from her seat quickly and rushes out of the cafeteria, leaving me alone.I could get up and follow her out, but then I would be wasting the fries we bought.
Just as I finish off my tray and reach for Avery’s, a shadow casts over the table, instantly making the hairs along my arms raise as I drag the tray in front of me.
“Hey.”Her voice is a little different.A little deeper and a lot more sultry, and I’m just as affected by it as I’ve always been.“Can I sit here?”
I adjust myself in my pants, not caring to be discreet as she sits in Avery’s abandoned spot.Brooke’s scent washes over me in a cascade of ocean and sunshine, and I swallow down the urge to sigh in relief.
