Page 10 of Fighting the Tide
“I found Brooke and Kasen making out this morning in the courtyard before science,” I bait her and am rewarded with a gasp.“But we saw him with Monica this morning.”
“Yeah,” she breathes out and runs her fingers along the bridge of her nose.
“Did they come to the bonfire together?”This is it, the moment I will once and for all find out if Avery has been keeping secrets from me.
“I don’t know—”
“What happened at that bonfire while I was gone, Aves?”I keep my tone even, void of any accusation, and watch as a myriad of emotions flick over her features.
“I…” She swallows thickly then tries again, “We…” She takes a deep breath after trailing off andfucking shrugs.
“Avery—”
“I gotta go!”She jumps up from her seat and grabs her backpack, brushing by me to head to the door.“I’m sorry, Nolan.I’ll tell you everything as soon as I can.”Then she opens the door and hurries out.
“Don’t worry!”I scream after her.“I’ll finish this up by myself!”
Chapter Five
Icanhearthescreaming and it intensifies the closer I get to my house.I know exactly what I will see when I walk into the center of the war zone.My father drunk off his ass, probably having spent the money Mom got paid while she loses her mind, worrying about how we’re going to eat for the next two weeks.
It's a vicious cycle because he’ll apologize and she’ll want desperately to believe him, then somehow he’ll swipe the money from her purse again and go on another bender.I want to blame her too for being obtuse and too softhearted.I want to blame myself for knowing everything for letting things happen the way they do and not stepping in to give him the ultimatum he deserves.
But I’d be breaking my mother’s heart, and at the end of the day, she has enough to deal with.
My bag slips from my shoulder and down my arm and I grab a strap with my hand as I start up the driveway, bypassing the holes and the weeds growing between the stones.Luckily our neighbors aren’t too close, so when Dad goes on his benders, and ultimately the both of them rage out, not too many people hear it.
I drop my backpack on the porch and stand outside the door, my body tensing as the screams become more enraged.I know it’s just a matter of seconds before dishes are crashing on the floor and things are being destroyed, so instead of walking into my house, I turn back around and head down the side toward the beach.
The damp sand sticks to my shoes as I walk toward the logs that are still set up from the bonfire.Avery and I installed the pit using an old tire rim about three years ago, and this has been our place ever since.I come here when my life feels like it’s in shambles, when I feel like a stranger in my own home, and sometimes my best friend is here with me and we spend a few hours forgetting it all.I sit on the log I was sitting on this past Friday and stare across the pit toward the log Avery was sitting on beside Monica.I replay the night from beginning to end.Kasen was sitting on the log to my left, Brooke on the same log as me, and to my right was Cassie.I remember the other footballers who were down on the beach, throwing the football back and forth, and the few cheerleaders who were running into the freezing cold ocean and screaming into the night.
I scan the beach in front of me, taking in the gentle waves as the water kisses the shore, and then I flick my gaze back to the log Avery and Monica were sitting on.I try to piece together their interactions.Monica sharing a cigarette with Avery, Monica resting her head on Avery’s shoulder, and still, I don’t remember anything specific happening between them.A chunk of my time was lost to my interaction with Brooke, and then making out with Cassie.After that, my night was consumed with talking Brooke off the ledge… literally.
The sound of someone walking along the sand catches my attention and I lift my head to find Avery coming toward me, her hands in her hoodie pocket and her head downcast.At first, I blink a few times to make sure I’m not seeing things, and when I realize she’s real, she’s already sitting on the log next to mine.Her energy hits me like a tidal wave, the sadness pouring off of her and slamming into me.
“What happened?”I ask as she brings a pack of cigarettes out of her front pocket, pulling one out and slipping it between her lips.I wait patiently as she grabs her lighter and brings the flame to the tip, the cherry burning bright as she inhales.
She tips her head back to exhale the smoke, and finally, her eyes meet mine as she gives me a sad smile.“I heard your parents, so I figured I’d find you here.Mine sounded pretty much the same when I got home.”
“They’re still fighting?”Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees as I watch Avery take a drag on her cigarette, her eyes squinting as she looks out to the ocean.
“It’s getting worse,” she admits as the smoke billows from between her lips.“Every day they’re fighting more than the last, and Darren is never home, but we both know what he’s doing.”
I want to question her again about what happened between her and Monica, but seeing how dejected she looks and the fact that she’s smoking yet another cigarette, tells me I need to back off.When she’s ready I’ll always be here for her.
“I’m pretty sure my dad spent my mother’s pay at the bar today, and I’m too afraid to go inside,” I admit to her as I dig the toe of my shoe into the sand.“I’ll just wait until they’re in bed and sneak into the house.”Deep inside I know how it sounds.I’m a fucking coward and I’m leaving my mother to deal with my father on her own, but I can’t seem to summon the energy today.Not after everything that happened at school and then the face-off with Kasen.
“I saw Brooke as I was leaving the school earlier,” Avery informs me as she takes another drag of her cigarette.Suddenly I’m riveted on her face, just by the sound of Brooke’s name alone.Inwardly I groan at my behavior, but that doesn’t lessen my reaction at all.“She was just sitting in her car, smoking a cigarette, with those big sunglasses covering most of her face.”
“Was she alone?”I wait, hanging on to every little action and every breath she takes for more.
“Yeah.If you’re wondering if Kasen was around, he wasn’t.”A dry chuckle bursts from her chest.“He was probably off doing damage control with Monica.”Another sarcastic laugh mingles with the smoke exhaling from her lungs.“Isn’t it funny?You’re in love with Brooke and I’m in love with Monica.”
“I amnotin love with Brooke,” I vehemently deny.“Are you crazy?And what are you talking about that you’re in love with Monica?Since when?”
“Since the summer before freshman year,” she confesses, her eyes downcast as I stare at her in shock.“She ditched the tomboy clothes and started dressing in skirts and crop tops, platform shoes.I was instantly enamored.”She drops the cigarette to the sand, only to pull out another one, and that’s how I know I’m in for a long night of revelations.Smoking a pack of cigarettes on the beach is a sign of Avery needing to off-load.“It’s stayed that way ever since.”
“Does she know?”What I really want to ask is whyIdidn’t know.It hurts that she thought she couldn’t confide in me and I’m trying my best to keep an open mind.It’s been a well-kept secret because I never had a clue.
