Page 34 of Dragon Strife
Though we will never be the same again.
I pull up to find Carrie standing outside smoking while she’s looking down at her phone. She looks up briefly at the sound of my bike and straightens when she notices it’s me, her mouth curving upward in an unsure smile. A shot of guilt hits me in the chest when I think about how much I’ve been avoiding these last few months, and maybe she thinks I’ve just been avoiding her.
I park beside Jaeger’s empty spot and let loose a relieved sigh. I’m happy he’s not here, it makes this whole thing a lot easier without his prying eyes and ears. I shut off the bike and pull off my helmet, giving Carrie a tentative smile.
“Hey,” she says, her tone sounding fake as she juts her hip out and takes a drag of her smoke. She squints at me through the fog, giving me a scrutinizing look. She’s wearing a tight, black dress with heels at least six inches tall. Her blonde hair is hanging down around her shoulders and her neck is lined with hickeys.
“Hey.” I nod at her as I get off the bike. “How’s the party?”
“Where have you been?” she ignores my question to fire off one of her own. “I know you fucked Genni and now she’s missing.”
“Wow, okay.” I swallow back a nasty retort and lean on the brand-new picnic table. “Yeah, I was with Genni, but that didn’t last. She’s been staying with Hell’s March.”
“What?” Her mouth hangs open in shock as her cigarette falls from her fingers. “Did she have something to do with what happened to Vic?”
It’s wrong, I know it’s wrong, but I give her a nod and lie, “Yeah, we think so. I wish I could send one of the guys over there to see what’s going on because I’m a little worried after she torched us the first time.” I cross my arms over my chest and give her an appreciative look.
“You can’t send a prospect, the March will kill him on sight.” Her cheeks blush under my perusal and my stomach sours with my deception. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, Genni ruined me for any other woman. “I could go?” She straightens up as the idea comes to her, her eyes shining with enthusiasm.
“Oh, hell no.” I shake my head and push off the table. “It’s not safe—”
“I’d bring a few of the girls with me and they would never know the difference.” She takes a few steps to stand in front of me, her perfume strong and spicy as it attacks my senses. “I’d do that for you, Quinton. You have to know how I feel about you.” Her voice drops, the tone coated in suggestion as she looks up at me from beneath her lashes, and her cheeks warm with a red hue.
It takes everything in me not to vomit through the shame I feel of using Carrie, but she fucking offered and while she would do anything for me, I’m willing to do anything for Genni. I need to know if she’s okay, and if I thought for one minute that those bikers would harm a bunch of strippers, I wouldn’t let Carrie go.
“Okay.” I nod and cup her cheek, watching as her face presses further into my palm. She’s sweet for offering to help, but I can’t remember what it is I found so attractive about her before Genni was on my radar. “I appreciate it.”
“I’ll gather up a few of the girls and we’ll head over now. Angel is at the club tonight, but I’ll grab her along the way.” She walks around me and begins to tap furiously into her phone as she heads to her car. “You owe me one, Quinton Chino!” she calls over her shoulder and I shudder at the suggestion.
“Anything,” I answer, knowing I’m being downright deceitful. I’m never touching Carrie again.
Her bed is still rumpled, the blankets thrown aside as though the last time she woke up in it, she was in a hurry to get out. Clothes are hanging out of a few of her drawers and her laundry is still sprinkled across the floor. I haven’t been able to cross the threshold into her space since she left and today is still not the day I do so.
These four walls still hold her scent and I breathe in deeply, letting it attack my senses and fill me with regret. Not for her, but for what happened to our father and the promises I broke to him. I will never forgive her for trying to undermine me and take a position I worked so hard for, and I can’t forgive him for creating the deceit in the first place.
If we were a family like he said we were, why couldn’t we discuss it as one?
I will have to live with the repercussions of my actions which stemmed from the betrayal of my father and little sister. My mother’s death should weigh heavy on Genni’s shoulders too. If she wasn’t so fucking eager to take what was mine then we could’ve handled this like levelheaded adults and my mother would still be alive.
My head slowly turns to see my parents’ bedroom, the door slightly ajar and the floral wallpaper visible from here. My throat swells up as I slowly back away. I haven’t found the courage to go near their room, the thought of it makes my chest tighten and it becomes harder to draw in air. I don’t want to smell Ma’s perfume or the lingering scent of Vic’s cigarettes. I think it would be the final straw that breaks my fucking back.
I hear the sound of an approaching bike, the rumble growing louder as it nears. My heart automatically begins to beat into my throat as I try not to be bowled over by memories. This is not Hell’s March coming to tie me up and kill my family… It’s already been done. The worst has already happened and even though I repeat that to myself as I hear the engine cut in my driveway, it doesn’t stop the sudden dryness of my mouth or the flipping of my stomach.
My hand slips to my gun as I stand in front of the door, waiting for the knock and readying myself in case I have to blow a fucker’s brains out. The knock I know was coming still startles me and my response has me gritting my teeth. I hate how I’ve become so fucking jumpy and scared. The sounds of bikes and visitors were once a welcomed one, but now it’s tainted with fucking trauma.
“Jaeger! It’s me! Cash!”
The sudden relief has me once again wanting to lift this fucking gun and blow my own brains out. I tuck my gun away and open the door to find the club’s medic on the other side, his long, gray hair hanging in a low ponytail.
“Hey, Cash.” I nod and step aside to let him in. The deep lines on his face remind me of Vic, and the heavy scent of nicotine has my heart pounding in my chest.
“Mariam sent me over with some sort of fucking casserole thing. I told her you were here more than at the club and she worried about how often you were eating.” He hands me a large tupperware and my stomach growls at the thought of food. He chuckles and gives me a side-eye. “You need to take care of yourself, Prez.”
Prez.Something I waited years to be called and now it does nothing but bring me shame.
“Cool, man. Thanks.” Cash has become like a step-in dad since Vic died, and I won’t deny that he brings me some comfort. “Any news?”
“They went into the compound today, she was with them,” he tells me as he walks into the kitchen. “I couldn’t see much, but from the looks of it, she went in there and up until I left about twenty minutes ago, they were still in there.”
