Page 37 of Lunatic
“Keep your head down, pretty girl. I don’t want anyone to recognize you.”
She does as she’s told as we approach the counter. I glance at the buses leaving soon, listed on the screen behind the attendant.
“How can I help you?”
“Two tickets to Buffalo, please. One way.”
He types away on his keyboard, looking between me and his computer screen every few minutes.
“It’ll be two hundred forty-six dollars and seventy-six cents. You’ll have one transfer in Columbus, Ohio.”
I reach into the bag to get the cash I stole from Alexsander, and spot something I did not expect.
A fucking cockroach.
Not letting Bianca know her friend is in the bag, I take the tickets and walk over to the tiny gift shop, hoping they have something to put this damn bug in. I’m not going to let it get all over our food, and I already know, if I kill it, she’ll likely lose what’s left of her damn mind.
Bianca watches me curiously as I move through the smallest gift shop known to man. They have a rack of snacks, a cooler filled with drinks, and some travel toiletries. That’s when I spot it.
“Aha!” I say out loud, earning a giggle from her sweet lips.
Fuck. That laugh is going to be the death of me.
I grab a small travel container, that looks like you might put some kind of girly cream in it. I’m not entirely sure, but it’ll work for what I need.
“What do you need that for?” Bianca asks, and I shake my head at her, not bothering to respond, she’ll find out in a minute.
We walk up to the counter to pay, and I want to choke the woman out when she says, “Six dollars, sir.”
I glare at her, but bite my tongue, when really I want to say something about her charging six fucking dollars for an empty container.
After tossing two travel toothbrushes and toothpaste along with it, she changes the total to seventeen dollars, and again, I want to say something but don’t. I don’t need to attract attention to us by skinning this bitch alive. Fucking inflation must have hit a peak during my short stint in the asylum.
I toss her the money, grab Bianca’s hand, and head out to the seats. We have fifteen minutes before we have to board the bus, hopefully enough time to put this bug in a container, and away from my damn food.
I take a seat and she sits beside me, while watching as I grab the swiss army knife that was in Alexsander’s bag, and poke holes into the lid of the container I bought. Once I think I have enough holes for the insect to live, I open it up, reach into the bag, and grab the cockroach. Placing it into the container, I screw on the lid and hand it to Bianca, who stares at me like I just handed her a pile of diamonds. One hand is over her mouth, covering her gasp, and tears fill her eyes.
“You saved my emotional support cockroach.”
Jesus. I want to roll my eyes at her, but instead I nod, as I try to ignore the feeling in my chest like I did something monumental for her.
“Thank you, Raven. I can’t believe you did this for me.”
I don’t tell her, but there are probably very few things I wouldn’t do for her. To see her face light up the way it is right now, I’d do an awful lot. The problem is, as much as I want to do good things for her, I’ll also do bad things too. I can’t change the man I am. Not for her, not for anyone.
I’m completely aware he thinks I’m nuts. It’s not normal to feel like you’ve lost everything because you lost your pet cockroach. It’s not normal to have a pet cockroach. None of this is typical behavior, and I don’t think I could ever explain to him how I was feeling, when I saw Marie skitter across the floor. While the worst thing that happened to me should have been eating a human heart, it wasn’t. The isolation was the worst experience of my life. It broke something inside me, that I fear can never be repaired.
I sit holding Marie, and feel the heat of Raven’s gaze on my face.
“Don’t judge me. I was lost, and I don’t expect you to understand, but she was the only thing that kept me going. It was like my entire mind was dark, but she was the slightest glimmer of light. I know this might not even be the same cockroach, but I’m telling myself it is, because right now, I need to believe that.”
Raven strokes his fingers down my cheek, and I lift my gaze to his.
“No judgement, Bianca. You’ll never get that from me.”
He stands up and holds his hand out for me. I take it and we walk outside to the buses. Number thirty-one sits there, with a driver that seems to pay no attention as we climb on. I follow Raven to the very back, and sit beside him. He drops the black bag between his feet. I know we’re in a small town, but I’m surprised there are no other people onboard. I grab the toothbrush, and toothpaste, and head to the bathroom. I already know he’ll be waiting on the other side of the door. Is it because he thinks I’ll take off running, with only a toothbrush and a cockroach? I wouldn’t make it long on my own. After brushing my teeth, I open the door and he motions to a seat. I sit down and he takes the spot beside me.
The seats have a cupholder, so he puts Marie in the one on his armrest near the window.
