Page 47 of Lunatic
“It’s okay. I know the man I am, baby. You’re right to keep your heart from me. That’s something you should guard with your life. Only a man that deserves it should have it, and I never will.”
She lifts her head and stares at me, like she’s trying to see something that just isn’t there.
“Everybody deserves to be loved, Raven. You aren’t the exception, but I can’t be that person for you. My heart does stupid things, and I can’t fall for another violent man.”
I pull her tight against my chest and say, “I understand,” but I don’t. I’m a liar. My entire life, I’ve always been the unloved one. Just once I want someone to look at me and say,I choose you. Fucking flaws and all, I choose you.
That person will not be Bianca, and I have to settle for what I have with her. I can force her to stay with me, and to even fuck me, but I can’t force her heart. That’s the one thing that needs to be given freely.
“The doctor will be here soon to give you birth control.”
She nods against my chest, but admits, “I’m afraid of doctors now. Can you stay?”
I kiss her on the forehead.
“It’s a female doctor, but, yes, I’m not going anywhere.”
What Bianca doesn’t know, and I don’t plan on telling her, is that there’s a chip in the IUD. It will be effective birth control, but it’ll track every movement if she runs away from me. I can’t risk losing her, and not being able to find her. It’s good to have friends that work in technology. This was my idea, but I never could have implemented it on my own.
“Thank you for taking care of it.”
I smack her ass, causing her to break out in giggles.
This girl makes me want to fuck her around the clock, but right now I can’t, because the doctor will be here soon. The doorbell chimes, interrupting my thoughts, and she laughs louder. That fucking perfect giggle does not talk my cock down. It makes it worse.
I grab the sweatpants Lucky got for me earlier, put them on, and toss a shirt to Bianca.
“I know she’s a woman, but I don’t really want her looking at your body either.”
I walk out of the bedroom to let the doctor in. Opening the door, I nod to Victoria.
“Come on in,” I say, waving her in.
“Raven Bonetti, it’s been a while.”
Arching an eyebrow at her, I say, “I assume this will remain confidential.”
She shrugs her shoulders as I kick the door closed behind me.
“As I said on the phone, if I’m asked specific questions I will answer them, but I will not volunteer any information. I don’t work for the Bonetti brothers, therefore, I don’t have any loyalty to them.”
I nod and walk her to the bedroom. She was one of my father’s doctors for a long time. I’m told, after he died, Bones decided not to keep her on the payroll. If he had, she probably would’ve told me to go fuck myself when I called. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to use a phone not traced to me. This is why Lucky has everything for me kept in her safe.
We walk into the bedroom, and Bianca is sitting up in her ‘I Got Lucky’ t-shirt, and I fight to stifle a chuckle.
“Victoria, this is Bianca. Bianca, this is Victoria.”
Then I remember that probably isn’t comforting for her, since she’s already nervous.
“Bianca, this is Dr. Evans.”
She reaches out her hand and shakes it.
“As I explained, this isn’t optimal, but we’ll make it work. Is there a bathroom where I can wash up?”
I nod and point it out, ignoring her comments about the room. When I called her, I got a lecture about how it would be better in the office, since it’s sterile. I’m sure it would be, but it’s not happening. For now, I don’t want her out much, because she had a shit ton of media coverage, and I’m expecting it to becomenational news when they realize the nuts escaped. It’s going to make the news, and people are bound to freak out. After all, some of us are fucking serial killers.
Victoria grabs her supplies and sets them out on the end table, on top of a towel she brought with her. She wanders into the bathroom and comes out with latex gloves on her hands.
